Panic Attack - Charles Leclerc

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This one is requested by kprince9983. I hope you like it!

It has been a week since your boyfriend, Charles Leclerc, crashed in Monza. If it wasn't for the halo, he wouldn't be here right now. Today was the first practice of the weekend in Mugello. You had a feeling something was up, but every time you tried to talk to him about it, he pushed you away.

You were standing in the garage, looking at Charles and his engineer. They had been talking for about 15 minutes now, and everything in your Boyd told you that Charles wasn't okay. There was something going on with him, but he didn't want to talk about it.

'What has been going on with your boyfriend?' Sebastian Vettel asked.

So you weren't the only one that noticed something had been going on. 'I don't know. He probably didn't sleep very well,' you mumbled and looked up at Sebastian.

'Is he alright?'

You shrugged your shoulders. 'He won't talk to me.'

'Do you want me to talk to him?'

'Try if you can.'

The first free practice was about to start. Charles puts on his helmet, but he doesn't get in the car. He stands there frozen, looking at his car. You jump up from your seat. He is not okay.

'Charles, are you alright?' You hear his engineer ask.

Charles doesn't respond. Everyone looks at you, not knowing what to do.

You walked over to your boyfriend. 'Charles?' You laid your hand on his shoulder. Only now you noticed how fast they were going up and down.

Charles didn't respond. He was in his own world. Memories flashing back from last week, from Anthoine, from Jules. For the first time ever, he didn't want to get in the car. He was too afraid something would happen that he wouldn't come back.

'Charles?' You slowly put his visor up.

Charles looked at you with fear in his eyes, panic.

'Charles, you need to get the helmet off,' you said.

He didn't move. He didn't respond to anything you said.

So you took the helmet off his head. You placed it in the car seat. When you turned back around, tears were streaming down his face. You grabbed his hands, which were shaking.

'Let's sit down, okay? You're alright.' You guided Charles to a chair, where he sat down.

'Can you talk to me? What is going on in your head?' you slowly asked.

'I...' Charles looked at you, as even more tears streamed down his face.

'It's alright. You're okay. You're safe.'

Charles shook his head. 'It's not. I can't get into that car. I can't. I can't leave you. I can't do this anymore. First Jules, then Anthoine, and last week... I can't do this anymore Y/N. What if I... what if...' He began to mumble some things in Italian you couldn't understand.

'Charles, look at me. You're safe. If you don't want to get into the car, that's okay. No-one is going to be mad at you. We all want you to feel okay. If you're not up for it, that is okay.'

Charles closed his eyes. He was struggling to breathe. He grabbed your hand the best he could. He felt all the energy leaving his body. He was gasping for air by now.

'Breathe with me. You're alright. Take a deep breath in,' you said and took a deep breath in yourself. 'And out,' you said. Charles tried to follow it, but you had the feeling it only got worse.

'Does someone have a paper or plastic bag?'

Someone rushed over to you with a plastic bag. You put it over Charles his mouth to hopefully get his breathing back to normal. But it looks like it only makes it worse.

Charles looks at you. The grip on your hand loses, and you see how Charles his eyes roll back, and then the passes out.

'Oh crap,' you mumbled as he fell towards you. You quickly put your hands up, pushing him back in his seat.

'Let's get him to the drivers room,' his engineer said. Several people from the team carried Charles to the drivers room, where they laid him down on the couch.

'Call us as soon as he's awake. We're going to get someone else to drive FP1 & FP2.'

You nodded. You sat down on a chair next to Charles and looked at him. You had no idea that he felt that way. That he was so scared to get into the car. If he would've talked to you, you maybe could've prevented all of this.

Some time passed by when Charles finally woke up.

'Hey babe,' you said.

Charles slowly turned his head towards you. 'What happened?' he mumbled, still quote out of it.

'You had a panic attack and passed out. Mick is driving FP1 & FP2 today.'

Charles sat up.

'Why didn't you tell me you didn't want to get back in the car.'

Charles sighed. 'Because I didn't know that was the cause. I had been thinking about it. Maybe last week was a sign that I should take it easy. But I can't leave this behind. I can't stop racing. I would be bored out of my mind. But when I put the helmet on, all I could think about was Jules and Anthoine. They never came back home. They died doing what I'm doing, and I didn't want to be another person on that list.'

'But if Jules would be alive right now, you wouldn't be. The halo saved your life. If you want to quit, that is fine. I will support you whatever you do, but you have talent, Charles. How much as it scares me to see you driving that fast, I can also see how much you love it. How your eyes lit up when you get out of that car, and you drove the best lap. Or how they even light up when you're talking about it. You love this sport, and like you said: if you quit, you would be bored out of your mind. But if that's what you want, then that's okay.'

'It's not. I should race. I should do it for Jules and Anthoine because they can't. I also can't imagine doing anything else. I just had a very off day.'

You nodded. You walked over to the couch and sat next to Charles. 'If you ever feel like this again, please come talk to me. Don't shut me out.'

'I won't.'

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