Loss - Alex Albon

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I'm so sad that Alex is not going to be driving next year. I'm glad for Perez, but I hate that Alex won't have a seat in 2021. 😢

⚠️Trigger warning: mentions of suicide.⚠️

You slowly shut down the door while you landed against it. You couldn't believe that this is happening. Everything felt like it was going in slow motion. You turned around and looked into the room. Everything felt different. It felt like you had changed in just one second. One conversation turned everything upside down. How can this be true? How is this happening to you? You couldn't wrap your head around the fact that he was gone. Your eyes filled with tears, and they started streaming down your face like a river. Your slid down against the door and pulled your knees up to your chest. Uncontrollably sobs left your mouth. You couldn't hold them back anymore. You buried your face into your hands, while the memories flashed back.

'Come on Y/N, you've got to let this go,' he said and let himself fall on your bed.

'Why? I don't like going to clubs.'

'Not even to look at those cute ass boys?'

'No, Y/B/N.'

He sighed and looked at the ceiling. 'There are a million things you can do right now, and you decide to stay sober and single. You're boring.'

'Wait, who says that I'm single?'

Y/B/N turned around and looked at you in shock. 'You have a boyfriend? Oh my god, tell me all about him.'

You smiled. 'His name is Alex. We met a few months ago and haven't stopped talking since. He's really sweet, but he's away a lot of the time.'

'Why? Does he go to college in another city?'

You shook your head. 'He is a Formula One driver.'

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. You ignored it. Tears streamed down your face. It felt like your bother could walk into your room any moment. He would be banging on your door, begging for you to open it. But he wouldn't do that, because he's no longer around. There had been so many signs, and you ignored them all. You could've reached out to him, but you were too busy spending time with your boyfriend.

For the millionth time your phone rang, your brother was calling you.

'God, what does he want from me? I love him, but it's getting annoying,' you sighed.

'Maybe he wants to make up for what he did?' Alex suggested.

You shook your head. 'You don't do that over the phone. He shouldn't even have done this in the first place? He is gay as hell, kisses my best friend and then says he's in love with her. With my best friend. He can fall for anyone he wants, but not my best friend.' Maybe you still needed to wrap your head around the fact that your brother wanted to date your best friend. Never in the history of relationships has that gone well. Whenever she would come over now, you had no idea if she would be there for you or your brother. 'I just need some time,' you mumbled.

Now all you got was time because he was never coming back. He tried to call you, but you were selfish and didn't pick up. You were having breakfast with an ocean view, while your brother killed himself. Alex was doing the first two practice sessions, and you decided to call your brother back, but he didn't pick up, neither did your best friend. You went on Facebook and saw the posts about the news. You called your mom, who answered the phone crying, saying that he killed himself. That he left a note, saying how sorry he was for all the pain that he caused, that he loved everybody but that this was better for him. How is suicide better? How is that a good option?

You had no idea how long you had been sitting on the floor. When you heard the familiar voice of your boyfriend, you knew you had been there for a while. You needed to pack your bags, take the first flight home, but you couldn't move. All you could do was stare and let the tears roll down your cheeks.

'Alright, see you later.' You heard the pass against the door, and you felt the door being pushed open. 'Babe? What's blocking the door?'

You opened your mouth to say something, but no words came out.

The door was being pushed further open, and Alex could squeeze into the room. He dropped his bag to the floor and laughed when he saw you against the door. 'What the hell are you doing on the floor?' He closed the door, only then he noticed the tears on your cheeks. 'What happened?' he asked and sat down next to you.

The tears streamed down your cheeks even more. Now you needed to say it, which would make it all more real. 'He... Ehm...' you broke down in tears.

Alex pulled you closer to him. He had never seen you so sad before, and he didn't even know why you were so upset.

'He's dead,' you cried out.

'Who? Y/N, who's dead?'

'Y/B/N,' you cried out.

Alex held you in shock. Your brother just died. The two of you were so close. The last few days things might have been a little troubling, but he never expected to hear this. 'How?' Alex asked as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

'He killed himself,' you whispered.

Alex sat in silence for a moment. 'I'm here, for whatever you need. You do you want to go home? We can be out here in a few hours.'

You looked up at him. 'We?'

Alex nodded.

'But the race is in two days?'

'I don't care. Family is first Y/N. You are my family. Do you really think I'm putting you on a plane right now? All by yourself? No, I'm not leaving you. Not when you need me. So, when you do want to leave?'

'As soon as possible,' you mumbled.

Alex nodded. He grabbed his phone and quickly booked two flights back home. He packed all of your stuff while you sat on the ground, looking at his every move. Alex helped you get ready, and then you left the hotel. He didn't call his team until you were already boarding your flight. Alex explained the situation and almost yelled, but he didn't care. He didn't care that his carrier was hanging on the line. You needed him, and he was not going to let you go through this by yourself.

You sat down on your chair, and you looked at Alex. 'Thank you,' was the only thing you said. If you would say anything more, you would probably burst out in tears again.

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