Egotistical

23.5

Pharoah
   December 11th, (a month passed about)

The only thing good about Thursdays are because I go to group, my pa lets me take the day off of school for the group meeting. He said he's been to tired to make me do two things at once- the other was getting me to school on time. So here I was at the shop doing paper work he was suppose to do months ago. Music was blasting and the shop was full probably because it's getting closer to holidays and people want to look good for the family pictures. I use to like taking our family pictures but now it's more stress than anything. Nobody smiles and everyone usually has an attitude. Halfway through uncle Donnie usually gets mad at them for taking to long and tries to take it himself. But we did it for aunt Tash- that's all she ever asked for every year. Hopefully one year she will come home so we don't have to take those pictures anymore.

"Nassiah your kid looks more like you every fucking year" some guy mentions as he sits in my pas chair.

"Well he's mine so I fucking hope so" he mumbled back making me smack my lips. I seen the guy many times one of the twins I heard more than I actually saw of them truthfully. They are probably wrapped up in the gang stuff and they kept me far away from that, even more so after I found out. The door opened and in came my god dad but with no Dayquellz. A frown must've been visible because Donnie wasted no time to come and bother me.

"Damn I wasn't the right Dayquellz huh? Fucking fruit" he mushed my face before picking up a piece of mail which had his name on it. Why he was getting mail here ? I didn't know but that seemed to be grown folks busniess so I minded my own. Uncle Donnie has been a bit more antsy lately, always moving jittering or something of the sorts he also been back in the streets I think. I didn't know much about uncle Donnie whereabouts when I didn't see him but my dad and pa are always talking at night. I think Alonso found out through those kids at the center, he did have a direct correlation to the streets with them. 

"Where is Quelly then? Is he still mad at me?" I asked and he only shrugged and went to talk to Pa. I'll beat everyone up in this store at this point. The day at the shop dragged, dragged longer than I ever thought a day at the shop would.  I never thought I'd ever be excited to go to group, but in the past month I felt understood there better than I have in most of my life. It was Weird because my family is far from perfect, probably with their own issues but in group everyone was learning to be so unapologetically them,I admired them so much. I officially made things clear between Omani & I .

Even though realistically we both knew it's been over between us she did deserve an explanation even if mine wasn't everything, but who was gonna say, 'hey Omani I don't think it's gonna workout between us, this year I found out my parents slang guns and take life's, I cheated on you with a boy who was beating the shit out of me- and my pa? Yeah he sure did kill his mom I don't know And the boy beating the shit out of me? Yeah he killed him too- my minds going to shit and I'm scared that I'm not gonna amount to anything all while being the biggest bitch out of all my dads kids. Truthfully now that I think about it maybe I should've said that more or less the part that criminalizes my whole family and makes me out to be a bitch. I've been going to school more regularly but still mostly getting my work for classes and leaving early or getting work and going to the library. I'm waiting for my finger to heal, but to even be able to play a game? I need my grades all the way up.

I got pulled out of my thoughts by my dad coming to get me for group. Well my pa yelling at my dad about something but Alonso ignored Nassiah for the most part and told me to hurry up so we could leave.That's how my Thursday started I didn't know it would end with me crying outside Quellys house again.

.....
Friday 12:04 am.

"King you want us to drop you off at home?" My eyes widened a bit from the half opened state they were at before. Arielle questioned  me as we all sat in some random diner eating a bunch of random meals to satisfy our drunk stomachs. Antsy from group has a holiday party I guess every year- he's rich so it was one of the best nights I had in my life, bounce houses- food I can't even pronounce and liquor I couldn't even spell. Now it was Arielle , Kacy and one of Kacys current boyfriends. I tried to invite Jordan but he's been acting strange this past month-  I have been distant and Quelly use to always tell me people don't continue to be friends with people who forget about them. But I texted him everyday this month to get text back maybe once a week? Bullshit. Speaking of Quelly he was also mad at me- I feel like he's always mad at me to an extent but even more so lately. It's just when we fight everything he says is always true and it always hurts more than it probably should. But he's moved out got his own house, which everyone thought he shouldn't due to Maurice leaving- him and Donnie should lean on each other; or so we all thought.