Egotistical

25.0

December 27th
Pharoah

"Yeah I don't know jordan maybe I'll go" I mumbled as he told em about this party he was having with Omani, it was tonight and although I know Kacy would love the idea of me taking her to meet new people I never thought of actually going. We had just finished practice and I was waiting for one my dads to come pick me up.

"That maybe sounds like a hell no" I shrugged at his response because that's what it was for real. "It would be fun and you never hang out with me anymore really" I nodded sucking my teeth a bit because he was true.

"Yeah I feel you, It's just takes a bit to get use too when Omani is on top of you all the time— it's awkward like everyone's waiting for the appropriate response from me, but like if anything I'm jealous of y'all — all happy and shit. I got five different hoops to jump through before my brain will even let me go to sleep.. y'all are at peace" I spoke as we sat on the curb he looked at me in awe.

"You good bro? I spent a long time being mad at you for not being there for me I never really cared if you were valid" I nodded and sent a pat or two to his back.

"It's not your fault you can't be there for someone who almost drops off the face of the earth" we fell into a comfortable silence. It was like we both understood that there was no bad blood or animosity towards each other.

"I hope you come though" he finally said before a car pulled up for him, I didn't need her to roll the window down to know it was her, Jordan probably didn't either because he was already getting up when she called his name. I didn't have a problem with Omani, I think the issue is I just wanted her to be apart of the past. She couldn't right now while she was dating jordan. I wouldn't say we were best friends anymore- he got closer to other people but the love I have for Jordan couldn't change. About five minutes after they invited me three more times and pulled off my pa pulled up.

  "Why you thinking so hard, schools over get in" my pa looked as lost in thought as me. He eyed me up and down which he tended to do a lot, I think to scan for bruises now. "I'm talking to you" I just let out a long exhale and nodded.

"How's you and dad?" He scoffed and tried to turn the music up but he knew he wanted to talk shit. "He's being selfish" was the only thing he muttered "he's lucky I love his selfish ass.. how was practice ?" I thought about it for a moment, I've been in practice the whole week, just slowly easing back in- but truthfully I've been out for to long. I have to get use to the loud buzzer and all the shouting again and convince myself that it's a loud noise I can trust is good. But it's hard- usually I picture the look of the crowds face on my favorite game I played recently.

Truthfully I couldn't remember the last time I even shot a ball and felt 100% in the game. The same game I use to love. But practice was something, I couldn't wait to get back to school truthfully because than maybe— I'll be able to play in a game soon. Kaizey was super smart so after practice she helped me catch up on missing work while Arielle stayed on the phone trying to build my confidence. The only thing I like about them is Arielle is always telling us her new triggers which made me start pointing them out in my head all the time.

"Practice has been refreshing" he didn't expect that answer, I could tell because the double take. "Jordan is throwing a party" I spoke a bit to calmly, I've been home a lot lately in between practice and from what my pa says up his ass and talking to him like I'm one of his little friends.

"I didn't even know you still hung out with that boy for real.. so this your lame ass way of asking me to go?"

"I don't know, might not even go truthfully" it got quiet for a bit and it's like I saw the gears turning. He pulled into the driveway.