Sanders Sides One-Shots

Regrets | Past Anxceit/Platonic Anxceitmus

summary: virgil has new friends; they should be better friends. but he can't help thinking of his old friends and regretting everything he did.

word count: 1059

as much as i hate unsympathetic light sides, it's just so perfect skhdfhksd

tw/cw// unsympathetic light sides (roman, patton, logan, and a lil bit of virgil), sad janus/remus/virgil, angst :))

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Virgil glanced to the other side of the cafeteria, spotting Janus and Remus laughing and throwing food at each other. Remus shoved a cupcake over Janus's face before sharing a kiss with the boy. Virgil looked away and stared down at his history homework. Janus used to help him with history; he'd explain it in a way that managed to get Virgil an A. Now, he was struggling to keep his C grade.

"Remus, get down; you're going to attract too much attention." Janus rolled his eyes. Remus pouted but stepped down from the lunch table. Janus looked back at Virgil and smiled. "Anyway, where were we?  The Aztec Empire, right?" Virgil nodded, blushing as Janus scooted a little closer to look at the textbook.

"I give up; you are incorrigible. It's impossible to teach you." Logan said exasperatedly. Roman rolled his eyes. "Here we go, Mr. Perfect is throwing yet another tantrum." "'Tantrum'? I am not experiencing a temper tantrum; I am not a four-year-old. You, on the other hand, can seem to focus on anything I say, then you complain that it's too hard."

Virgil blocked them out; he never realized how much two people could argue in one day until he became friends with Logan and Roman. Despite Remus constantly annoying Janus, neither boy had much of a temper.

Janus groaned as Remus tapped his shoulder repetitively. "What, Remus? What could possibly be so important right now?" Remus grinned. "Nothing." Virgil snorted at his response. Janus just sighed. "Okay, but can you take a break from being hyperactive for a second? Today isn't a good day; I just can't deal with that right now, okay?" Remus huffed and nodded. "Okay, I'm sorry."

Without realizing it, Virgil began doodling on the side of his paper. He'd even started drawing a cutesy demonic character, almost in a Looney Tunes style. He heard Patton gasp from beside him before his paper was snatched from him. 

Patton was quickly erasing the doodles Virgil had done. "You can't be drawing stuff like that, kiddo. Good people don't draw things like that." Virgil stared at Patton confusedly. "It was just a cartoon; it wasn't like I was drawing something graphic-" "Only bad people would do something like that." Patton smiled as he handed the sheet back to Virgil, but the expression almost seemed empty.

Virgil warily grabbed the homework and nodded, getting back to work.

Janus set his bag down and smiled at Virgil. "Okay, so you know how you're an amazing artist, and you're so underrated?" Virgil furrowed his eyebrows and chuckled. "I don't know about amazing and underrated, but I guess." "Well, I got you a customer, if you're willing." 

Virgil nodded and shrugged. Janus pulled out his skateboard and laid it across the library table. "I need the bottom covered in something, I was going to buy stickers, but those are expensive. So, I figured, if I ask my amazing, creative, talented, and handsome boyfriend to paint it for literally any price in the world, I'd be much happier." Virgil pretended to think for a moment. "$50?" Janus hummed and pulled a 100 dollar bill from his pocket. "100, or no deal."

Virgil smirked and grabbed the bill. "If you insist. Now, what kind of design were you thinking?" Janus shrugged. "Whatever you want. As long as you include some little demon cartoon character. I just like the aesthetic of something evil looking adorable, like cats...or you." Virgil lightly hit him and laughed. "Fine, jerk." Janus grinned. "I may be a jerk, but I'm your jerk." He kissed Virgil's cheek as the edgy boy glared at him playfully, trying to hide his smile. 

Virgil glanced back at Remus and Janus. Remus was now sitting in Janus's lap, talking about something Virgil couldn't hear. Virgil often wondered why he gave up his happiness to be with Patton, Logan, and Roman.

"I'm not telling you to stop hanging out with them, but you just need to be careful, Virgil. I know my brother seems like a nice person but, trust me, he's just an amazing actor." Virgil slammed his locker shut and faced Remus. "Why would I believe you, of all people, Remus? You've always been jealous of Roman, for all I know, you're jealous that he has more friends than you, and you want to keep me for yourself." Remus held a pained expression on his face. "You know why I'm jealous of him, Virgil. It has nothing to do with his friends."

Janus stepped in between the two boys. "Virgil, what Remus is trying to say is there's a reason no one else is friends with them, yet no one says anything about them. They're manipulative, toxic people, and we just don't want to see you get roped in with them." Virgil scoffed. "They're the manipulative ones? Weren't you the one who manipulated Patton when you were dating?" Janus froze. "H-How did you know about that?" 

Virgil shook his head in disbelief. "So it's true." "No, you need to understand-" "I don't need to understand anything, Janus. Were you planning to do the same thing to me? Well, guess what? I'll save you the trouble; I never want to see either of you ever again. Just stay away from me."

Virgil hadn't seen either of them since then, not of their own will anyway. In his English class, he'd heard from other classmates that Janus and Remus got together while they were at the roller rink a few weeks ago. Since he'd cut both boys off, he'd dream of being held in Janus's arms again; he imagined goofing off with Remus again, going to amusement parks with the boys every summer, being happy with the two of them.

But Virgil asked for this; he purposely cut them off, he told them to stay away, he made no attempt to reconcile with either of them. So he was stuck here, imagining that Logan and Roman arguing was a harmless, charming quality between the two, that Patton was a caring and sensitive boy, that each of them was honest and loving. He forced himself to imagine that the boys would never hurt him, they never sent him cold glares when he did something wrong, that they never set rules for him. It was all Virgil could do to keep from breaking.

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idk if i made it obvious enough, but patton was very toxic with janus; that's why he reacted that way. but virgil thought that janus was admitting that he manipulated patton (instead of the other way around), just wanted to clarify that :) i haven't done angsty content in so long (and i've rarely done anxceit), so i decided that i needed to do this :)) the more i wrote, the more i got the urge to make this dark, so hope you enjoyed skhsfkj anywho love you all, stay safe, buh bye!!

4/17/21