Sanders Sides One-Shots

Gender Envy | Intrulogical

summary: remus is jealous of his twin brother for being the literal embodiment of gender envy for the trans boy. with the help of the ones he loves the most, he'll hopefully feel much better.

word count: 911

this has not been my week fhfhsks the wifi went out at my house bc of rain so now i have to do everything on my phone, i've been super busy with homework and clubs so i rarely have time for anything else, and something kinda happened to me (positive) that i've been wanting for a long time but idk how to feel about it so it's like taking up all my energy ghfhdj

tw/cw// dysphoria, anger, slight yelling, fighting, crying, sadness,

~~~~

Remus stated at his brother's body, jealousy coursing through his veins. He looked up at his face, his jawline, his developing facial hair. Roman's quiet singing, perfectly showed off his developing deep voice.

The twin squeezed his hands angrily as Roman continued searching for a shirt in his closet. "Do you mind?" Remus said through gritted teeth, trying not to let his anger get the best of him.

Roman turned to Remus with a scrunched-up, confused expression. "You're such a brat. What are you going on about now? I'm literally not doing anything." The annoyed brother slammed his textbook shut and stood up with a glare.

"First of all, it's really not necessary to walk around naked every morning. Second of all, you wear the same red shirt every day, what could you possibly be looking for that you're standing at your closet for ten minutes?"

Roman scowled down at his brother before snatching one of his red shirts off a hanger. "I don't know what's up your butt today but you better get it out soon." He mumbled dangerously before storming back into the restroom to change.

Remus clenched his jaw, feeling upset at himself and Roman at the same time. He grabbed his backpack and set off to his boyfriend's house, hoping the early morning walk would clear his head.

~~~~

Logan stared at his reflection, it wasn't his favorite thing in the world but he attempted to find at least one good thing about himself every day. As he stared into the mirror, his gaze fixated on his eyes.

'Remus loves my eyes, he says they're a beautiful shade of green. I suppose he's right.' The teen thought with a small smile.

His head snapped over to his bedroom window as he heard it slide open. He relaxed when his boyfriend but rushed over when he saw how winded he was.

Once Remus was laying flat on Logan's bed, tears flowed out of his eyes at an unusually fast rate.

Logan gently pet the crying boy's fluffy hair. "Re? Do you want to talk about it?"

The sad teen sat up, sadly wiping at his cheeks. "Our entire lives, Roman and I looked alike, especially after I cut my hair and started wearing the same clothes as him. But since puberty hates me, he's getting all this stuff that I know I'll never have naturally. I wish I didn't have to wear this stupid binder, that I didn't have to train my voice every day, everything around me just sucks and I don't know what to do about it."

Logan's heart clenched at the boy's words. "Re, I can't even begin to imagine how debilitating this must be for you. Have you tried talking to Roman about this?" Remus shook his head. "No, he's great but I don't feel comfortable being like, "Hey bro, you're experiencing dude puberty and I'm not, fix me." That's just dumb."

Logan rolled his eyes. "When you put it like that, of course it is. You don't have to talk to Roman but if you did, it'd be more along the lines of asking him to listen, to lend a helping hand where he can. But if that's not comfortable to you, how about we stay home today and watch Halloween movies?"

Remus sniffled and looked up at Logan with shy eyes. "'Halloween' as in the holiday or the movie franchise?" He asked quietly. Logan chuckled. "Whichever you prefer, love. Can you take off your binder for now, please? I can't imagine it could have be any good for you to climb to a second-story window with it on."

Remus nodded and took off his binder as Logan played the first Halloween movie, instantly knowing Remus wanted to watch the franchise rather than general Halloween movies.

The two boys cuddled together; Logan was sure to avoid touching Remus's hips so the boy wouldn't feel any more dysphoric.

Halfway through the movie, Remus's phone buzzed repeatedly. He looked over at the phone, sighing as he saw Roman's face light up the screen. He reluctantly answered, putting the call on speaker, placing the phone on Logan's lap, and resting into his boyfriend's chest with closed eyes.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Um, I talked with Janus just right now." Roman said nervously. "Was this morning dysphoria-related, by any chance?"

Remus furrowed his eyebrows and he opened his eyes. "Kind of, I guess. Why?"

"I'm so sorry. I didn't even consider that and Jan was like, "Maybe he felt dysphoric because of you." Of course I didn't believe them at first, but then it kind of made sense and you haven't shown up to school yet, so I was worried. I just wanted to let you know I had no idea, and I'm sorry for what I said."

Remus stared down at his phone in shock. "Ro, i-it's fine."

"Still, I'm sorry. The bell's about to ring so I'm assuming you're skipping with Logan. Do you want me to pick something up for you after school? Jan usually feels better when they eat pizza or Cane's chicken."

Remus smiled softly at the warmth Roman's statement gave his heart. "Can you just get chicken nuggets from McDonald's for Lo and I?"

"Of course. I'll see you after school, buddy. Bye."

Logan rubbed Remus's shoulder gently. "Feeling better?" Remus cuddled closer into Logan once more. "Yeah, a little bit."

The two basked in each other's company, enjoying the movie once more.

~~~~

i've been having so much gender euphoria this past week bc my friends are so amazing and it was a dress-up week so i got to wear neutral clothes that so many people said made me look more masculine/androgynous and i'm so happy dgdgsjsj okay so, i really wanted to make this one, especially since i'm almost done with 200 parts and there are about 25k reads, which is INSANE!! thank you guys so much, you all literally motivate me every day with every vote, comment, everything. so thank you, i hope you all enjoyed, love you all, stay safe, buh bye!!

9/5/21