Sanders Sides One-Shots

The Goodbye Song

summary: roman finds a tape from his dad who passed away when he was 8 years old. his father tells roman and remus it's time they watch the video.

word count: 1274

i'm sorry this is so long and i'm sorry for the sadness that comes with this one :( also ik i don't usually put video links anymore but it really helps to know what the song sounds like for this one :)

tw// mentions of death, mentions of cancer/hospital, semi-panic attack, pain/sadness about death, so much angst and tears :((

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Roman's father and uncle had sent him to the attic to get the Disney VHS tapes, but they were nowhere to be found. A dusty box in the corner of the attic caught his eye, prompting him to pull it from its spot. He looked around the sides for a label as to what could be inside the foreign box. Nothing. He sighed as his curiosity plagued him, he knew his father and uncle wouldn't appreciate him getting distracted. On the other hand, there was a reason this box was hidden, and Roman wanted to know.

He gave in and kneeled next to the box. As Roman tried to pry the flaps open, he realized he'd seen The Goonies way too many times if he was actually expecting the adventure of a lifetime to come from this. Finally getting it open, he began pulling the contents out, one by one. A grey cardigan, a dog plushie, Roman realized why this box was so far into the attic. It was filled with his dad's things.

When Roman and his twin brother were about seven or eight, their dad had become terribly ill. It was so bad that the last time they saw him, he could barely even move, not even stopping to make a pun like he used to. He passed away in his hospital bed with Roman's father by his side. Now 8 years later, Roman had forgotten his past grief. Not that he forgot his father, he'd still imagine what it'd be like if he were still alive from time to time. He just forgot how badly he missed him, how much it hurt to lose him.

After sifting through the various plushies, clothes, even some terrible puns he'd written down, there was something alone at the bottom. A single VHS tape. He gently picked the tape from the box and dusted it off. He gasped as he read the title, 'For my kiddos <3' Tears threatened to spill from his eyes. How come his father hadn't told him about this? Did he know? Roman needed answers, Disney movies gone from his mind as he climbed down the steps with just the tape in hand.

"Virge, where's Father?" His uncle turned around and his eyes focused on the tape in Roman's hand. Virgil noticed how desperate Roman seemed and peeked his head into the kitchen. "Logan, Roman needs to talk with you." With that, he left to his bedroom, allowing the two brothers and their father to be alone.

Remus furrowed his eyebrows, "That's not 'Beauty and The Beast'. What is that?" Logan left the kitchen and came into the living room, "What's wrong, Roman?" Roman held up the tape. "Did you keep this from us on purpose?" Logan froze and looked between his sons. He motioned for them to sit with him on the couch. "When your father was first diagnosed, before he told me, he made this tape for you two. He didn't tell me about it until he was hospitalized and he made me promise to show you once you turned sixteen. I forgot to show you last week but now's as good a time as any, right?" The two boys studied their father's blank expression. They knew he was breaking up on the inside, even if he didn't show it.

Roman nodded and placed the tape into the player.

Patton's face appeared on the screen, terribly close to the camera. "I seriously should've asked Logie to help me with this thing. What the heckity heck? What does that do? Is it on?" He backed away and looked at the camera. "Okay that light is on so I'm assuming it's recording." He smiled widely. "Okay, so this is for my two beautiful boys! If you are watching this, I guess that means that I got the camera to work and we had to separate. I know you both are probably really upset but it's okay! I will always love you no matter where I am, and wherever you end up, as long as you are happy, I couldn't be more proud of you! There is nothing in this world that could take me from you boys, just know that even though I'm gone, I'll always be with you."

Patton looked down at the piano in front of him as tears formed in his eyes. "As my last gift to you, I'm going to sing you boys a song. I hope you enjoy it." Patton let out a breath and began playing on the piano.

"The time has come; I'm flying away. Mouth is numb; heart don't know what to say.

And although I'll be out of sight, dear.
No, I'll be right here.
Right here forever, ever, ever, ever
And when you look to the night skies.
Don't think of goodbyes
Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever."

He paused for a moment to calm himself down before continuing. "Thank you for teaching me lessons, thank you for listening to mine. Man, you know how to ride a bike now, don't be scared you'll be fine." He sang the chorus again, small tears sliding down his face as he did.

"Come! No, you can't come with me, stay
I wish I could, goodbye
I know it's hard to say
Come! No, you can't come with me, stay
I wish I could, goodbye
I know it's hard to say
Ouch! I know it hurts to stay." He paused again to calm down a bit.

"I'd stay if I could.
But the universe won't let me
So please be good
And don't you forget me.

And although I'll be out of sight, dear.
No, I'll be right here
Right here forever, ever, ever, ever
And when you look to the night skies
Don't think of goodbyes
Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever." He repeated the chorus once more, almost crying with desperation.

"And although I'll be out sight, dear
No, I'll be right here
Right here forever, ever, ever, ever
And when you look to the night skies
Don't think of goodbyes
Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever!"

Once he finished he wiped his eyes with his cardigan sleeve. "I know I'm gone, but I just know you both are destined for greatness. Right now, as of April 13th, 2003, you boys are at school, probably working on that play you're so excited about." Patton giggled then sniffled, checking the time. "Logie should be getting back in a few minutes, I guess I'll tell him the news. Never forget me, boys, I love you so much! And take care of your father, he acts like he knows everything and doesn't need help but I know he does. I'll see you boys later, mwah!" Patton sent a kiss to the camera before shutting it off.

The two boys were left with tears streaming down their faces, but not nearly as much as their father. Roman and Remus understood though; Logan had been best friends with Patton since they were in kinder, secretly dating when they were sophomores in high school. He grew up with the bubbly man, he couldn't imagine his life without him. Every now and then he'd still break down at a memory of him, the pain never having left him. He felt as if he couldn't breathe, all he could do was pull at his hair and curl into himself as he sobbed at the loss of the love of his life.

Roman and Remus pulled their dad into a group hug and rubbed his back gently to calm him down.

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omg i am so sorry, i didn't know it'd be this sad, i almost cried while writing this :( i know it's long so there is a second part coming later :) i hope you all enjoyed, love you all, stay safe, buh bye!!

7/11/20