Silence

Vivacity of depression

Within me trapped like a child,

Is a ball of darkness, growing.

Raw, unbridled, unabashed and wild,

The maelstrom I am regaining.

Clawing and rising to the surface.

Unable to hide the deep melancholy,

The cheerfulness has begun to deface.

With no hope of my recovery.

The downturn of my existence has stripped,

The joy from me and turned it into despair.

I cannot cope with being depressed,

An agony of dismal brightness is there.

My misery of anguish and continual sadness,

Haunts my thoughts unabated.

Doomed to wallow in my own sullenness,

Alone in my collapse into self-hatred.

The recession of my fortune into bleakness,

Has led to the resurgence of my self-doubt,

Insecurities left buried in my darkness,

Now surges forth with its malicious torment.

My ineptness to cope with pressure,

Debilitates my mind and body.

Insecurities of sorrowful proportions do not reassure,

Me of my resurgent ability.

I wish to flay my problems away,

But find myself weakened and indecisive.

I know I should not feel this way,

As my life is not full of indigence.

Societies decline and mollified attitude,

Has fostered within me a base privation.

This agony of life's platitude,

Has led to my moral starvation.

How easily my depression does recuperate,

Is because of my spoilt nurturing.

The waning of my mental state,

Alas is part of my fallacy upbringing.

I know I should not dwell on this,

The mere fact of my trauma,

Is due to a silly little stress,

That has plagued me with all this drama.

I am weak and over indulged,

And unable to cope with adversity.

Pity and attention I need to be fed,

From society there is no paucity.

My gluttonous greed for consideration,

Hampers my minds healing from depravity,

It fuels my repossession by depression,

And strengthens my failures with its debility.

A cure for my dejection,

From a plummet into stupid suicide,

Can be achieved with a simple revitalization,

To forget my silliness if I should so decide.