Silence

Acceptance

Bead of hot sweat, trickles

Running down my spine.

My foot taps uncontrollably, 

To the tempo of a nervous body.

Sitting here, waiting on the results,

Is gnawing away my mind.

I know I am sick, but...

The question is how sick?

The pain comes and goes,

Flowing, ebbing, teasing my senses.

So far, I have learnt to live with it,

However of late it has gotten worse.

This frail house of a body,

Slowly, deteriorating with age,

Now compounded by disease! 

Try to hide my fear, nervous smile,

As the doctor enters.

Cold, professinal, clinical greeting,

Detaches me from this man.

To him, I am just his next sports car.

He babbles on, few things I catch,

As my shoulders slump,

No cure rings in my head over and over,

A stuck CD, you just cannot stop!

Anger starts to boil at this cold bastard,

Rambling on without a care...

But then, my attention rested back,

Magic words spew from his orifice. 

"You can prolong your life expectancy."

Raptly, I gobble up the information,

Majority of which I do already.

Faze the bugger out as I plot and plan.

Up to fifteen years longer I can live,

Fifty five ain't a bad time to die!

Without a word l leave,

His rehearsed speech incomplete,

Agape he watches me depart.

I am strong, I will carry on,

I have a goal,

I have a set time to live,

No longer need I live in fear,

Cast that cloak from my shoulders.

So what of the pain?

I can learn to live with that.

This disease will kill me, eventualy,

But not today.

I must phone my friends,

It is time to celebrate...

This new lease on life!