Silence

Revenge

Staring straight ahead,

Through everyone,

Ignoring greetings,

Of those who share my journey.

Alone, I wish I was,

As I lose myself,

Listening to the rhythmic clickity-clackity.

Hushed conversations,

As we commute,

Occasional glance as we approach a station.

Yet ahead I stare,

Unwavering in my intensity,

All I feel is the snake like motion,

Swaying side to side.

Many faces I do know,

But I acknowledge not,

Their worried stares go unanswered.

I am in my own world,

With my thoughts.

If I were not of flesh,

They would take me for stone,

For no muscle do I move,

Resolute in my determination.

Today I will share no pretenses!

No false smile of greeting will I give!

No forced chatter will I utter!

All I do,

Is sit impassively,

Organize my thoughts.

My wife…

My children…

Foremost in my mind…

Soon I will lie by them once more.

The end of the line approaches quickly,

Better to get this over with.

I feel tired inside,

I do not show it.

Slowly the train grinds to a halt,

Final destination…no return trip.

I am the last to disembark,

I walk,

My feet feel like lead,

It eventually leads me to where I need to be.

I survey around me a sea of people,

Rippling and moving excitedly,

Listening to an Imam, as he preaches hate!

Once more I feel vindicated,

Violence begets violence!

He sweeps the crowd into a frenzied state,

Preaching death to infidels.

As one they rise and scream insults,

Baying for the blood of the crusaders!

I join in,

But I only pretend,

My quest is similar, yet different.

My finger presses the concealed button,

Setting the charge of no return.

All I need do is release…

I think once more of my slain loved ones,

Decimated by a suicide bomber,

Taken before their time!

Stripped from me!

My wife!

My children!

All those who died that day!

Today!

I pay back in kind!

So what if they seek revenge for what I do,

I will not be there.

I care no more.

I have found my inner peace.

I know Hell to be my reward,

But revenge I crave!

The Imam stops his oratory,

The crowd cheers,

Blood-lust in their voices,

More killing soon to come.

Arms raised he silences the crowd,

The hush that ensues is deafening.

He casts his eyes upon his brainwashed flock.

That is when I scream one word.

One word only.

It shatters the silence.

None have time to turn around,

Or even see me next to them.

DIE!

I did not feel the explosion.

Nor heard the screams of pain

Or of those dying.

I heard and felt nothing!

I wreaked horrible revenge that day.

I paid dearly,

My place in Heaven with my family…

Now here I suffer in Hell,

With those I killed,

For God does not save killers,

Or those with murder in their hearts.

For a moments happiness,

I sold my Soul!

Was it worth it?

Unfortunately for me the answer is…

No!

I knew I did wrong…yet still I did it.

I was not misguided by the promise of seventy virgins.

I did not turn the other cheek.

I got what I deserved.

At least…

My wife and children’s killer,

He suffers here with me!

I see him now for eternity,

Suffering, as I suffer!

That at least makes my torment worthwhile,

Or so I tell myself…