Missing you

Chapter 12 Some things need to end, part 61

I walked slowly downstairs and saw that they were all waiting for me. I forced a slight smile at them and pointed at my outfit “is this okay?” I asked quietly “Yes. It’s fine. We should get going…” Shann said, then walked out of the door “okay, let’s go” I sighed, and followed her.

When we got to the park, Ross was already there. He was sitting on the swings with his back to me, hands in his pockets while the gentle breeze whipped his hair and made the tree next to him sway. I sighed and began to walk over to him. I walked up behind him and trapped his shoulder lightly, he turned around and a wide smile spread across his face “hey” I smiled “hey” he grinned back, I quickly leaned down and kissed his cheek, it was too hard to kiss him on the lips with what I was about to do “you missed my lips” he half questioned as I sat down on the swing next to him “I know” I said. He looked at me weirdly “are you mad at me?” he suddenly asked, I quickly shook my head “no. I could never be mad at you” I paused and took a deep breath, it was now or never “I need to tell you something” I whispered. He looked at me confused and then nodded “okay. Go ahead” he shrugged “I don’t know how…” I muttered, I looked away from him and began to play with the rim of my skirt “I’ve been thinking for the last few days… about us. After everything that’s happened…” I trailed off and bit my lip. My words were all over the place and my mind was refusing to say the words “please don’t” Ross pleaded, I looked up and saw everything that I had been afraid of. He was hurt. And it was already killing me “Ross, I’m sorry. But after everything that’s happened, I think that feelings have changed” I tried to explain, but he was still hurt, I felt horrible for being the reason. “This is about the whole Brad thing, isn’t it?” he asked with watery eyes, I nodded slightly “mostly, yes. But there is something else…” I trailed off as I searched for the words. There really was another reason, but it was hard to explain, well… I thought it was “I just can’t handle long distance relationships. They are hard and I never really see you. All I can ever think about is the distance and how much it hurts. I just don’t think that we’re ready for this right now” I explained, trying to use my words carefully “I’ll move. Here. And we’ll make this work” he pleaded, moving towards me. I looked at him shocked and shook my head really quickly “No! You can’t move away from your family! Just, please let me go” I begged “but I love you” he cried, he stood up and turned away from me. “Ross… look at me” I sighed, I got up and put my hand on his shoulder, trying to make his turn around, but he shook it off “please Ross” I begged again “no” he mumbled “Ross, I love you. I will always love you. But now just isn’t our time” I admitted. Ross finally turned around and I saw that his eyes were puffy and there were tears soaking his cheeks. I looked at him for a second and then, without thinking, I pulled him into a comforting hug “don’t cry” I whispered “can we still be friends?” he sobbed, I was a little taken aback by that. “A-always. I would never in a million years want to stop being your friend” I said hugging him tighter “me neither. I just never want you to leave my life” he sniffed “and I never will” I sighed. So that was it. That was the end of Ross and me.