Somewhere, Someday

10

<Read A/N at end!>

"Open it." Kristina says urging me to open my college acceptance letter. I didn't know yet if I was accepted, but I had a feeling it would say yes. I've always been a good student and I've never failed one class. It was known I was the teacher's pet, but I didn't care. I had a future and they didn't.

"Okay, okay! Don't rush me." I say to Kristina. We were in my room sitting on my bed with the final decision my number one college of choice made. I could end up extremely disappointed, or over the moon happy. I just hoped they thought I was good enough.

"Who are we kidding, we both know you got in. Miss smarty pants." Kristina says. I want to rip the paper right open, but I don't want it to be over so quickly. This has been my dream since dad left, and I wasn't about to let him or myself down.

"They could reject me Kristina, or I won't get the scholarship I need to go there. You know I have no way to pay for it." I was starting to freak out over the idea of getting rejected or not what I wanted. It wasn't that I wanted the scholarship, I just really needed it. Without it I would never get to attend any college.

"Does you mother know you are using half of the child support checks in case you don't get that scholarship?" I shake my head no. I never thought my mother would care or ever find out. She doesn't pay the bills, I do. I'm the one that does everything so I deserve this money for whatever I need.

"My mother is knocked out cold most of the time. She'll never find out I took anything." My mother would never find out, she wouldn't even care. She's too out of it to notice anything.

"If you say so." Kristina finally gives in and I'm about to open my letter. What if I don't get in? What's after this? I can't just stay here. Not anymore.

"Fingers crossed." Kristina crosses her fingers and rolls her eyes at my superstitious mind. Superstitions weren't stupid, they were tricks and I kept all of them.

I rip the envelope open slowly to preserve the moment. This was it, this was all I was waiting for. "Just hurry up Sarah." At this moment in time I wanted to slap Kristina across the face and tell her to keep quiet.

"Okay, okay calm down." Finally I pull the folded paper out of the envelope. I had already gotten many acceptance letters, but this was the only one that really counted. I unfolded the paper and squealed loudly at the response. Yes, it said yes. I was going to my first choice college on full scholarship.

"What's it say?" Kristina probably already knew the answer, but I guess she still wanted to hear it.

"I got in. I'm going to New York!" I say excitedly. Kristina flashes a bright smile and jumps across the bed to hug me. "I just can't believe it." The happiness I felt was overwhelming, and all consuming.

"Well, I believe it, you're the smartest, bravest bitch I know." Kristina says trying to compliment me.

"Thank you. Honestly, I had some hope it would say yes. I mean why wouldn't it? They honestly don't have a plausible reason." I was the definition of good morals in this town. I've had honors in my class since the second grade, and it felt good.

I didn't need the party's every night, or the thrill of doing something illegal. All I needed was to be proud of myself, which I always am. It has taken me a long time though to love who I am and what I am. My choices are good, but something was always missing. I had always just felt like I was missing this piece of me, like I had never spent any of my years experimenting or being someone other than me. I never thought I could be anybody else but myself, but in reality I had always wanted to be myself. No other personalities would better suit me than the qualities I possessed now.