Somewhere, Someday

79

Song of the chapter: Out Of The Woods by Taylor Swift

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"Remember when you hit the brakes too soon, twenty stitches in the hospital room. When you started crying baby, I did too. But when the sun came up I was looking at you. Remember when we couldn't take the heat, I walked out I said I'm setting you free. Monsters turned out to be just trees, but when the sun came up you were looking at me."

Harry drove me back to my dorm building in complete silence the whole way. My head was clouded by pain, physical and emotional. Harry had agreed to let us go for now, maybe even for our whole lifetime. He does graduate college in a year, I don't expect him to stay in the same old town.

When I left the warmth of his car, I almost felt like I was leaving apiece of us behind in that car. All these months of pain, heartbreak, love, and hard work was all said goodbye to. This is me setting him free, we're young he'll understand when he's older.

Clair had told me I was doing the right thing, this way we can stop blaming each other and learn to love on our own time. What's the use of being in love if you had no idea how to.

It was hard to sleep Saturday night, only having memories of Harry and I float through my brain. I should just get over it, but how do I even start? All I can seem to remember is his hands in my hair, my clothes in his room.

I know it's going to feel like hell, trying to find another person that made my heart jump the way Harry does. He was starting to become a vital person, that I needed in my everyday life, and that's why I needed to break that habit.

Someday we'll be thankful that we didn't go any further, breaking each other into a million pieces until we were at the point of no return. Maybe I could love again in the future, but better at it this time.

Right now, I'd like to say I'm paying for the hell I'm in right now. I wondered how Harry was taking it all day, was his heart mending perfectly while mine was still on the floor. But then thinking of him just brought me back to him.

Clair tried getting me out of the room on Sunday, we went out for breakfast but my mind was barely there. Her and Louis tried to cheer me up, by making stupid jokes or talking about the ridiculous Kardashian girl wannabes.

Nothing really worked, but I painted a smile onto my face to make them feel better. Even watching movies reminded me of Harry and how much he hated cliche storylines while I loved them.

I did my schoolwork, but I doubt any of it was right. This wasn't a normal thing to feel just so stuck in a constant state of pain. He was my addictive drug, nothing else will make me feel as a,along as he did.

I know he'll still be protecting me, while I'll still be looking his way. But now we needed to learn how to be friends and not always be cheeky with one another. That would be hardest for Harry, since he got flirtatious often.

Now, I guess I could say we were out of the rubble called our relationship. I'd still be seeing him in my literature class, he'd be there everyday no matter what I did. I guess I'd just have to ignore him, hoping he wouldn't talk during class on Monday.

I just missed the natural things about him, such as his voice and the way he walked. I missed the things he said, and how he loved me. He's a train wreck, but I wouldn't want him any other way.