Somewhere, Someday

43

<A/N Smut in here for you guys, and I won't be warning you guys every chapter I do it cause that's exhausting, but just know it's in this book throughout it.>

Songs for this chapter:

Where I stood- Missy Higgins

Oasis- Don't Look Back In Anger

~~~

"I don't know who I am, or who I'll be without you."

Harry just stares at me, refusing to answer my question.  I wanted to just get up and leave so he'd get scared and answer. But I didn't want to even step foot away from him, and that scared the hell out of me.

"Harry just please tell me." Harry shifts near me on the couch. I wanted to place my hands on his face and tell him that everything would be okay. I don't think he would've believed me, and I don't think I could've sincerely believed myself.

"Because I know I can hurt you enough that you'll just leave one day for good. You happy now?" Harry gets up off the couch and starts pacing the living room floor. What was he so nervous about? Was he scared I wanted a relationship?

"I'm not necessarily happy, but it feels better to know why we can't have anything. It's good to know we aren't good for each other. We would probably destroy everything and everyone around I us." I get up off the couch and meet Harry. I look him in the eyes, I could tell that his mind was running in fifty different directions.

"You make my mind work in thousands of different fucking directions Sarah and it drives me crazy. But you know that, and you like it." I laugh at Harry's statement. Maybe I did like that Harry's mind was so clouded with me, but it also hurt because it was useless for him to think about me.

"I don't like it, Harry. You know I don't." Harry pulls me close to his body for the second time tonight. His arms go around my waist, and he holds me in his arms. There's no other place better than this.

I couldn't help but wonder if this was even what we should be doing. This would probably make us want each other even more. We couldn't act as if nothing was in the way of us. "Harry, we shouldn't do this." Harry realizes what I'm saying and he lets me go.

I never thought I could miss somebody's arms as much as I miss Harry's. They always fit perfectly around me, and my body always fit perfectly next to his. "You can sleep in the bed if you like, I'll just sleep on the couch." I knew the couch wouldn't hold his long body. I also knew that I had been the only girl that has slept in his bed. It made me feel like of special.

"Sleep in the bed Harry. I'm still scared and nothing has to happen." I knew Harry was a little surprised by my invitation, but I still was scared just not to a point where I couldn't sleep alone.

"Are you sure?" I nod and make my way over to the couch to grab my bag on the floor. Harry leads me to his bedroom. It was the same as I remembered with bookshelves and a neatly made king bed. I wanted to roam his bookshelves and read until I could fall asleep, even though I was already dead tired.

"There's a bathroom in here, or the one in the hall. You can choose." I avert my gaze from the bookshelf to Harry. He seemed kind of nervous, and I couldn't help but smile. He didn't have to be nervous around me. We had agreed nothing would happen.

I grab my bag, and I head into Harry's bathroom. I secretly wanted to see how he kept it, and what secrets he could be hiding in here. But of course it was completely normal, toothpaste, cologne, and aftershave. Just normal guy stuff.

I start brushing my teeth, then combing out my knotted hair. I always hated this birds nest, it never looked good an hour after I had fixed it up. After washing my face, I get dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, nothing too revealing.