Somewhere, Someday

56

<A/N at end lovelies.>

Songs for the chapter:

All Again- Ella Henderson

Heart Like Yours- Willamette Stone (If I Stay) 

Empty Handed- Lea Michele

Saturn- Sleeping At Last (This song at the end made me super emotional.)

~~~

"Cause I am falling, and I'm too weak to fly.
Now my heart's wide open, and you're the reason why.
I've been broken from the scars that I forgave.
I spent a long time running from the mess we made.
But I would do it all again."

I look at the broken man in front of me, and I can see the pain in his eyes and the hurt in his heart. I just want to hold Harry, and let him know everything will be alright. But I didn't know what the future held.

"Harry I can't promise you that I'll stay, if after I graduate college there is nothing left for me. I need to go on with my life, and so will you. We'll get over it Harry, we will." It broke my heart to say these words, but I had to be honest with myself and Harry.

"You have us here Sarah, and where will you be going after you graduate? I at least want to know where you'll be in the world once I've lost my grip on you." I wanted to tell Harry that he could never lose his grip, that we would always be connected in some way.

"Harry you are graduating next year, and let's face it, you won't want to stay here after you're done with everything that has to do with this place. You'll have nothing left, and you can go too. At some point in our lives we didn't know each other, and we were both fine. I think we'll be just fine after." I didn't want Harry to rely on me always being there for him. Truthfully, I didn't know if I was staying here or leaving after college. I didn't have anything set in stone.

"Do you love me?" My head shoots up right away at Harry's question. I wasn't exactly expecting him to ask this now. "I've told you numerous times that I love you, and you never reacted. You never told me anything Sarah." The first time Harry ever told me he loved me, I was still with Josh. Even after that we fought, and pushed each other away every time.

"I don't know Harry. I care about you, and I like spending time with you. But I've never told anyone that I loved them and meant it. I barely know what love is, and how it is represented." My parents were the prime example of how easy it was supposed to be, to never love someone. They screwed up, and so could I.

"Trust me Sarah, I've never loved anyone either, except for my mum. This isn't a normal thing I do. I don't tell girls I love them so they'll sleep with me, I don't need to tell them anything. I'm telling you because I've finally figured it all out." Hearing how Harry still loves his mum, makes me think about my mom. I stopped loving her ages ago, and it made me feel guilty at first. But she didn't love me. She had replaced me with cigarettes and booze.

"I don't love anybody, and I never plan on it. What's the point if it just ends in yelling and anger. Why fall in love with someone, when later on you'll just resent them." My negative opinions on love always brought Kristina and Clair down. I did love them, but as I would a sister.

"Our parents both made mistakes. My parents divorced and so did yours, but many people in this world last Sarah. What if we were those people that could do it." I shake my head back and forth, and look at the ground. I didn't want Harry sucking me into thinking all this could happen.