He Makes Me Happy (Shyan Fanfic)

I Care

Shane sat next to Ryan, close enough to feel the heat radiating off of his body, but not enough to raise suspicion. The air was tense, it was never like that before. Shane loved change except for when it was for the worse. He tried to spice up his life constantly, but he wanted the way he felt with Ryan to stay the same. 

"I think we need a new rule" Ryan mumbled, staring down at the floor. He tried not to sound so depressing but he couldn't control his tone. The image of Shane and Ricky floated around his mind despite his protests. He didn't want to feel this way, he didn't want to be jealous. 

"We do?" Shane asked, curious as to where this was going. He liked hearing Ryan talk, especially after a long day like this. His little obsession with rules was kinda cute. 

He nodded, "No more lying" 

"No more? When have I ever lied to you?" Shane turned to face Ryan, who was still staring at the floor. His accusation hurt, more than Ricky's guilt-tripping ever could. goddammit, stop comparing them, Shane scolded himself. 

"You obviously have something with.. with Ricky. It's ok, it really is. I just want you to be honest with me" Ryan said, his gaze fixated on nothing. it felt like the band-aid was ripped off, but no relief came. At that moment he wanted to laugh at how stupid he was to believe he ever really have a chance, and cry because wanted it so badly. 

"Ryan" Shane whispered, getting closer to the other man. "look at me" Shane pleaded. When he didn't respond, Shane put his hand on Ryan's cheek and turned him to face him. Their faces were just inches apart. Ryan craved the feel of his touch, but he was much too focused on not letting himself get upset to enjoy the moment, or fully realize what was happening. 

"I didn't lie, will never lie. me and Ricky are just friends" Shane didn't remove his hand from Ryan's cheek, and he didn't want to. He slowly took in a breath, taking in Ryan's scent and some confidence. 

"If we were more than that, I wouldn't do this" Shane said, his voice low. He leaned into the kiss and felt of rush of warmth as their lips connected. Ryan smiled into the kiss and pulled him closer, his heart nearly beating out of his chest. Just moments ago he thought he was gonna scare Shane away for good, but now they were kissing. For real. 

They pulled away, unsure of how long the kiss lasted. It could've been 3 years for all they knew, but it still left them wanting more. Ryan took a shaky breath, but it was the good kind of shaky. 

"I wish would've done that sooner" Ryan laughed quietly, surprised at his own confidence. He never would've said anything like that before, but now he felt he had nothing to hide. This was moving faster than any relationship Ryan had before but it didn't feel rushed. In fact, he craved more. In just three short weeks he had made a real connection with someone, came out to them, fallen for them, and kissed them. It was too good to be true, but Ryan refused to spoil the delusion. 

Shane laughed along with him, both his hands on either side of Ryan's face. "You know, you're allowed to make moves too" Shane pointed out, staring into Ryan's eyes. He had never been so anxious about what someone was going to do next, but also was never so excited. All worries about everything else faded away into nothingness. Every ounce of Shane's attention was focused on Ryan. 

"Well now that I have your permission..." Ryan breathed out, trailing off to wrap his arms around Shane's waist. They were about to reconnect the kiss, but then the lights started flickering. Shane felt him tense up, and Ryan started looking around nervously. It looks like the power had gone out. Suspiciously at an inconvenient time. 

"That's just our luck" Shane grumbled, feeling around for his phone. He turned the flashlight on, Ryan still clinging to his waist. 

"Do you think we brought something home?" Ryan asked while running the image of the orbs over in his mind. Then the image of Ricky. Ryan knew there was something between them, and the feelings obviously weren't coming from Shane's side. It was awfully convenient the power would go out right now. 

he shook the jealous thoughts from his head and focused on the issue at hand. 

"If we did, I'll deal with it" Shane would've cringed at that cheesy statement, but the sound of glass breaking was much more distracting. 

Ryan nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound, then froze up. Shane moved the flashlight in the direction of the sound to find the vial of holy water shattered. Shane started to move towards it to inspect closer, but Ryan quickly grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back onto the couch.

"Don't leave" Ryan whispered, it was all he could manage. He clung onto Shane, still shaking. He couldn't think as his breathing became more rapid and his heart rate rose. Ryan tried to steady his breathing but to no avail. 

"Hey, hey" Shane said in a calming voice, wrapping his arms around Ryan. "I'm not going anywhere" he held Ryan close to his chest. His concern for Ryan continued to grow when he couldn't stop taking in sharp breaths. He didn't know what to do, about Ryan or the supernatural activity. 

This pest could be dealt with simply, but Shane couldn't just leave Ryan. He wanted more than anything to help Ryan feel better, but he wasn't sure what to do. Maybe Ryan could've been soothed faster if he wasn't so embarrassed. He was angry with himself for letting this happen again. 

A memory of his first big panic attack flashed through his mind, the painful feelings coming along. Dwelling on this particular moment certainly wasn't helping, because he could hardly breathe anymore. Tears started to pour out his eyes as he clung closer to Shane. He wanted to apologize, to beg for forgiveness, but nothing came out. 

"it's okay... it's okay" Shane assured Ryan. He cursed himself for being so clueless. All of this was his fault, he thought. Shane reasoned that he had never come here Ryan would be fine right now. Being here only made things worst. 

After of few more minutes of comforting, Ryan was starting to make his way towards stability. He wiped his eyes quickly but kept one hand on Shane at all times. It felt like he was his lifeboat right now, and he let go for even a second he might float away. 

"I'm sorry" Ryan finally managed to say, his voice barely audible. Shane brushed some loose hair from out of Ryan's eyes and looked down at him with a playful smile. 

"Why would you apologize, you little dummy?" Shane asked, trying to hide his concern. What if something like this happened again? Did he react properly? Who told Ryan he needed to be sorry for crying?

Ryan laughed gently, still trying to cover his face. he really needed someone like Shane here right now, someone who didn't make him feel shameful for this.