He Makes Me Happy (Shyan Fanfic)

Part 100

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that" Ryan quickly sputtered out. Yes, there was a lot they had to talk about, but he was better than this. He was still angry about everything that happened, but at the end of the day, he knew it wasn't all Shane's fault. 

"It's ok" Shane replied sincerely. "I get it, I really do. Give me a call about that Supernatural show" 

That was the last thing he said before leaving the break room. Ryan stayed in there for a few minutes, trying to collect his thoughts. He knew at some point he would have to have an actual conversation with Shane about what happened, but he was ready yet. The most frustrating thing about the whole situation was that he knew Shane would be patient with him. It would be so much easier to push Shane away if he was so... him. 

Ryan went out, expecting to make awkward eye contact with Shane, but he was nowhere to be seen. Ryan's words must have cut deeper than he let on. He just assumed Shane left and tried to get back to work. The distraction that had served him so well over the past few weeks no longer held his attention. His mind just kept drifting back to Shane, and more specifically it kept going to how hurt Shane looked the night Ryan left him in Hell. 

He didn't even have the energy to attempt to explain what was happening to Steven. A small wave of guilt occupied the back of his mind about that, but he was much more concerned with Shane. 

Ryan groaned, forcing himself to think about anything other than Shane. He was moving on. He didn't need Shane. He didn't have feelings for Shane. 

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Shane returned to his motel room, one hand clutching his stomach. He didn't want to just run away from Ryan like that, but he couldn't take the pain anymore. He thought he had gotten past this.

"Damnnit" he hissed through his teeth as he collapsed onto the bed. He felt an odd sense of deja vu as he drifted into a dreamless sleep. Ryan's name kept floating through his mind, but other than that it was completely blank. There was so much to do, but he had no energy to do any of it. His plan to get Ryan back had failed, which meant he needed to start looking for a place to live. He couldn't stay in the hotel forever. 

The more he thought about Ryan's words, the more they made sense. He believed that their relationship was doomed from the start. Shane was starting to understand why. They moved in with each other before they even started dating, which didn't exactly set them up for success. 

But they could fix all of this. Shane had complete faith in their relationship, regardless of all the setbacks. He didn't believe in many things anymore. His trust had been broken too many times for him to look at anyone the same way he used to. That naivety was long gone.

 But as he held that silver chain and kissed the charm, he knew how much he trusted Ryan. It used to confuse him. How could a little human affect him so much? Why did his heart ache so badly whenever he pictured Ryan's face? Now he knew that it was love. Something he had only thought he understood before. But after meeting Ryan, Shane knew nothing could compare to how he felt with him. 

He rolled over, groggily looking over at the digital clock that sat on the chipped bedside table. 5:47 pm. Ryan would be getting out of work soon. If Shane had the energy, he would call him. Maybe try to hang out. But in his current exhausted state, he knew that wasn't possible. 

Just as he was giving up up hope, his phone rang. Despite the quick pain that shot through his body, Shane quickly reached over to grab it. 

It was Ryan.

"Hey, Ry," Shane said, picking up the phone on the second ring. his heart was beating out of his chest.

"Hey Shane," Ryan asked, sounding out of breath. 

Shane furrowed his brow. "Are you ok? Where are you"

Ryan had laughed slightly. "I just got done playing basketball with Steven, don't worry about me"

Shane felt a spark of jealously. "You and him are really close now, huh?"

"I guess so..." Ryan trailed off for a second then caught his train of thought. "I wanted to ask about that supernatural show we were talking about"

"Oh?" Shane prompted further, biting the inside of his cheek as another wave of pain assaulted him. 

"Well, I figured it would just make sense, you know. It might confuse people if you didn't host both shows" Ryan stumbled through an explanation that didn't make him sound like he wanted Shane.

He smiled. "I can't wait, when does filming start?"

"As soon as possible" Ryan replied. "Once we finished unsolved, we're going to start traveling. If you have any idea for places we go, that would be helpful"

Shane laughed. "You want me to look for haunted locations? I can do that"

Ryan laughed along with him. "I thought you didn't believe in ghosts"

"I don't!" Shane assured him, melting at the sound of Ryan's laughter. It had been way too long since he'd heard it. 

"Sure, whatever you say" Ryan chided playfully. 

Shane rolled his eyes, but still had a smile plastered across his face. "Oh shut up"

Make me, he thought, then pushed it away. Ryan needed to stop this before he said something stupid. "I'll see you tomorrow"

"Yeah" Shane responded, sad that the call was ending so soon. "See you tomorrow"

"Oh- wait" Ryan stopped just before he hung up. "I'm really sorry about what I said earlier"

"Don't worry about it" Shane brushed the apology off like nothing happened. Ryan knew he would do that. It annoyed him to no end. Why can I just let him go? He cursed himself silently as they exchanged goodbyes and hung up. 

Ryan put his head in his hands as he sat on a bench. He regretted calling. It was just another moment of weakness. If he had just a little more time, he could get over Shane. It was endlessly harder now that Shane had made it his personal mission to get Ryan back.

He wasn't going to give in. Everything would be better if they could just stay friends. Shane would get over him eventually, and Ryan knew he would be able to ignore the feelings one day. He just prayed that day would come sooner than later. 

He got up and went home, his usual distraction doing nothing to detour his one-track mind. Work didn't take his thoughts away from Shane, because for some godforsaken reason Ryan agreed to do supernatural with Shane. The cool air was nice for a few moments before he got in his car. The sky was beautiful, but nothing compared to what the sky in hell looked like.

He knew the show would be entertaining, but he was worried he might give in. It was necessary for him to move on from Shane, so they could both be free. Shane may not realize it now, but one day he would see that their relationship isn't what he wants.

Ryan's grip tightened on the wheel as the thoughts flowed through his mind with no signs of stopping. His real motivation for pushing Shane away was becoming clearer. He thought he didn't deserve him. Shane could go anywhere in the overworld. See any human he wanted. After all the traveling they would be doing and the people they met, Ryan was sure Shane would find someone better. 

After all, Ryan was the first person Shane met when this whole mess started. He hadn't seen the world yet. No, that he could... where did that leave Ryan? 

To save them both from heartbreak, Ryan decided it was better for them to just be friends. That way he could keep Shane close without getting burned again. It was a flawless plan, if not for Shane's persistence.