I Love You So Much I Hate It

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"Can we not fight right now?" Ricky begged with a heavy sigh. He was already exhausted. On a normal day he wouldn't talk to anyone other than Shane, but today he spent time with both Sara and Ryan, which meant he had no more patience left to deal with him. 

"You started this!" Shane was in disbelief. "I'm not just gonna let you insult Ryan like that" 

The headache was started to come back, but Shane wasn't sure if it was because of the mystery illness or his rage. Ricky had a far-off look in his eyes as he gazed blankly out the window. It had started raining and the sound of thunder followed Shane's voice. flashes of lightning outlined his silhouette every so often.

"It just doesn't make sense" Ricky hissed through clenched teeth. "This isn't about Ryan, this is about you"

"You're still going to pretend to be worried about my safety?" He scoffed. "Don't make me laugh"

"I am!" Ricky insisted. Everything he had done over the past month was to make sure Shane would come home and be safe. Now with this mystery illness, the stakes were higher than ever. He would give Sara one more chance to solve this problem discreetly, then Ricky would have to take matters into his own hands. 

"You just want me to stay here so you can have more control over me" Shane spelled it out for him. The headache was getting worst which only added to his frustration. he placed a hand on his temple to try and ease the pounding pain that echoed through his skull. Nausea was starting to come in waves, but Shane kept a straight face. He wouldn't allow it to take over, not now. 

"What the hell are you talking about? You know that the overworld is dangerous" Ricky pointed to the scar that had taken root on Shane's neck. Shane furrowed his brow as he began feeling lightheaded.

"It's worth the..." Shane trailed off for a second, trying to fight back against the rising pain. "It's worth the risk" His words stuck in the air between them. Was Shane really saying that being with Ryan was worth risking death? No, that couldn't be right. Shane was just tired and sick. He didn't know what he was saying...

Ricky came to Shane's side and put his hand on his forehead. White hot. Shane's breathing was starting to become more rapid and his chest was tightening. 

"Shane, you're burning up" He said, dropping the argument completely. Shane was quickly losing strength and allowed for his head to lay on Ricky's shoulder as they sat next to each other on the couch. 

"Damnit" He hissed through the rising pain. his vision was blurring as he fought to stay conscious.

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Ryn shut the door of the bedroom while holding the notebook close to his chest, the distant sounds of Ricky starting to yell being sealed off as the door clicked shut. He hated it when people yelled more than anything. It seems he got out of there just in time. 

He sat on their bed and flipped to the first page, where it had a table of contents. 

Early life

Bite and Bark

Lady Trix 

Current Rumors

Ryan went to the current rumors section to see what people were saying right now. He thought back to the way everyone was staring at them in the restaurant yesterday and thought this section could clear some things up. 

Madej has been spotted with a human. I suspect this is the one Ricky was researching the other day, but I can't be too sure. If my suspicions are correct, the human is Ryan Bergara.

A chill went down his spine, but he kept reading. Above all else, his goal was to get answers, no matter how badly his intuition screamed to stop. 

If I had to guess, I'd say there will be an overflowing amount of hate for this human when Shane steps back into the public eye. They already hate Ricky, and they (as far as I know) never even had a romantic relationship. 

Ryan read through the notes, feeling a bit uneasy. Everything she was saying made sense, but he felt like he was only working with half the information he needed to understand fully. It was high time he had an actual conversation with Shane about his past. He didn't need to know everything, just enough to know what their future held. 

He continued reading.

I'm not sure what to make the human just yet, the only thing I know about him is that he could possibly be dangerous to be around. Shane is a level 9 and has fallen ill after being exposed to the human. 

Shane was sick? And it was his fault? No, there's no way that could be true... right? He slammed the book shut and went straight for the door. They had a rule, no more lies. 

"Shane?" he called out as he came down the stairs, one hand on the railing. 

Ricky froze, unsure of what to do. Shane couldn't even hear the sound of Ryan's voice over his pain. It was like there was something inside his skull that was clawing to get out. Ricky laid Shane's head on his lap and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"Pretend to be asleep if you don't want Ryan to find out" He ordered, to which Shane obliged. he retreated into the back of his mind where he could ignore the pain for a little while longer. There was no strength left in his body to keep up the human form, so slowly his horns and wings started emerging. They shifted their position slightly so Shane was laying on his stomach with his head on Ricky's lap. Ricky placed his hand on Shane's head and smooth his hair out gently. 

"Shhh" Ricky said, putting one finger to his lips as Ryan stepped into the room with determination. "You'll wake him up"

Ryan stopped and looked down at Shane, who looked like he was sleeping. 

"You two are already done fighting?" He asked, taking a seat across from Ricky in the leather chair. From what he's seen, Shane and Ricky's fights never last long. That could be attributed to the fact that they already knew what the other was going to say. What was the use in fighting if you could already see the outcome?

Ricky nodded. "It wasn't that big of a deal" In truth, this had been the first time in a while Shane had really gotten into a fight. From an outside perspective, no one would suspect a thing. But Ricky knew Shane better than he knew himself.

"Seems like it" Ryan said, looking down at his boyfriend. 

"I didn't mean what I said" Ricky added nonchalantly. Ryan didn't acknowledge the half-assed apology and silently handed the notebook to Ricky. It was already open to the page that admitted Shane was sick. Ricky skimmed over it with a blank look on his face and offered no reaction to the words. 

Ricky sighed in annoyance. "How could she be so careless?" 

"Is he sick?" Ryan asked, trying to keep his voice from betraying how worried he was. 

"Shane, wake up" Ricky whispered, shaking Shane gently. "He knows"

Shane didn't move. Ricky shook him a little harder, still careful as to not hurt him. Still nothing. 

"Shane..?" He asked, placing his hand on Shane's neck to feeling a pulse. Panic was quickly surging through him but he kept his hand steady. The pulse was faint, but it was there. "We need the doctor, now!" Ricky demanded, looking at Ryan with scared eyes. 

"He said he wouldn't be here for another few hours" Ryan responded, feeding off of Ricky's anxiety. His eyes flickered down to Shane, who simply looked like he was in a peaceful sleep. 

"Come on, we have to drive him there ourselves" Ricky said, picking up Shane's limp body. Ryan rushed to open the door for him, his movements running on panic. The storm continued to rage outside with all the fury of the gods. 

Ryan sat in the backseat, Shane leaning on his shoulder. His breathing was greatly labored and his body was heavy, but at least he was still breathing. Ryan blinked away the tears that kept threatening to spill over as Ricky drive as fast as he could. 

"We going to the ghost district, they don't really like demons there so you need to keep an eye out" Ricky warned, making a sharp turn. 

"You're going to be ok" Ryan whispered into Shane's ear, unsure if he could hear him. 

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