Reverse Dipcifica Oneshots

incorrect quotes

Okay, I know I left the previous oneshot off on a cliffhanger, and it's only going to get rougher from there, so I decided that I would update this funny chapter to put everyone at ease before the worst happens. So, I give you; RevFalls Incorrect Quotes.

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Paz: Dipper and I are dating.

RevFalls Gang including Dipper: *gasps in shock*

Paz: Dipper, why are you shocked?

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Mabel: I relate to Belle because she loves to read books and loves people for who they are inside

Dipper: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies

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Genie: Are you sure you want your last wish to be punching Dipper and Mabel's father in the face for the third time?

Scarlett: *rolling up sleeves and reeling back* Abso-fuckin-lutely

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Mabel: I like a woman that's environmentally aware

Scarlett: *points* that's a cloud

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Dipper: we need code names for each other

Paz: Right

Dipper: great, how does 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' sound?

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Paz: Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Gideon: Mabel told me to satanise the house!

Paz: she said 'sanitise'

Gideon: ...

Gideon: Oh

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Dipper: And how do you think you're going to stop me?

Mabel: I'll tell Paz

Dipper:

Dipper: you sick bastard

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Mabel: We need a plan of attack!

Scarlett: I have a plan; attack.

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Scarlett: what's up?

Dipper: not my self esteem

Scarlett: that's a mood if I ever saw one

~.~.~

Candy: I know we've always had this unspoken rivalry

Paz: it's not a rivalry, you're just always mean to me. And it's not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

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Mabel: I have the sharpest memory! Name one time I forgot something.

Gideon: you left me in a Walmart parking lot like, three weeks ago

Mabel: I did that on purpose, try again.

~.~.~

Dipper, drunk: Love is cheap. . .but this booze is cheaper.