Reverse Dipcifica Oneshots

the worst in me

This oneshot is honestly me curbing my enthusiasm of the stories I wish I had time to write and probably will write eventually. I hope y'all enjoy!

Sidenote: this definitely ended up being a little more mature than I intended it to be. Certainly earning the PG-13 label that I didn't think it would get to, but I digress.

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"No, I'm not going as your date."

Dipper grimaced and moved the invitation off the top of his desk. "This wasn't me asking you to go with me, Lettie." He skilfully avoided her harsh glare at the childhood nickname. He wasn't going out of his way to piss her off, truly he wasn't. He would have to think of his word choice much more skilfully in the near future if he wanted to convince her.

"Then why even show me the invite at all?" Scarlett Valiant (she couldn't be associated with the Valentinos anymore, so long as she worked at the CLB) crossed her arms and removed herself from the doorway. Her black, leather jacket swishing in tandem with her movements. She was a cautious one, for sure, always just out of arm's reach, safe from any attack. Her training was well-done, no wonder she was the best in her class. "If you weren't asking me to go with you?"

"I was showing you what I have to put up with." Dipper groaned and took a seat before his desk, fiddling with the card-stock invite in his hands. "This gala is the most important event for my family, I cannot even think to do anything that would mess it up."

"Didn't you already mess it up?" Valiant chuckled humourlessly. "By daring that stupid thief you're chasing to try to steal something?"

Dipper silently fumed. "That was a slip-of-the-tongue on my part, I alone am responsible for that." He didn't want to start the long explanation to Valiant as to why he even said that in the first place. For someone as emotionally stunted as herself, Dipper would be surprised if she could even begin to understand the strange relationship that he had with Pandora.

"Yet, here you are," she gestured to him as a whole, "probably about to beg for my help."

"Yes." Dipper admitted reluctantly, "if you're there, there is no way that Pandora would even stage such an attempt."

"Too bad, I'm busy." She stated firmly. "And gala's really aren't my thing."

"An out of town job?" Dipper cocked a brow, and this time he was trying to get a rise out of her. "You're on thin ice on being employed here, with your past."

Valiant, to most people, didn't even react. However, Dipper was the best damn detective that the CLB had. He caught things people didn't. All except that ridiculous thief. Her shoulders tensed ever-so-slightly, but she remained standing sentry.

"Guess I'm charismatic." She replied evenly. "And no one else can even come close to doing what I can do."

"That and Mabel likes you." Dipper scoffed, already bored of their charade.

"Why not ask your fiancée?" She smirked, "I'm sure it would do wonders for your publicity if the two of you are seen at the gala together. Your family's gala. It would promote the amazing symbolism that's always associated with you."

Dipper scoffed again, mainly to cover up his obvious discomfort with the subject. "Detective Chiu is not my fiancée. We are letting the media run whatever story they want on us."

Valiant took this opportunity to sit on Dipper's desk, legs dangling off to the side, it was the closest she'd allow herself to get to anyone. That and everyone knew that she could easily beat Dipper in a fight. "I'm surprised the tabloids don't see the implications. That you two allowed yourselves to be photographed together just after the Valentine Incident."