Sapiosexual [XXXTENTACION]

F I F T Y F I V E

T A L Y E H G A L V E Z

When Dani's mom arrived at the clinic my heart was racing. I knew she was angry. Hell I could feel the flame coming off of her from a mile away.

But I didn't know she would be this angry.

"She's getting an abortion of course," she told the nurse.

"What no I'm not," Dani said. "I'm keeping my baby."

"What do you think this is? You are fifteen Daniel!" Her mom told her.

"I know but I can do it mom, please?" Dani asked of her mom.

Her mom looked at her for a few seconds before turning away from her. "I need to think about it."

"It's my choice to make," Dani pointed out.

"Of course it's your choice to make but it's a very big choice and you should take some time to think about it, cause once the baby is here you're stuck with it for the rest of you're life."

Her words seemed to be echoing in my head. For the rest of my life. I'm going to have to take care of this baby for the rest of my life.

"Girl are you okay?" Dani asked me.

"Y-yeah I have to go pick up Jahseh for our ultrasound I will call you later," I said quickly and left the room.

Once I made it to my car I was in full panic mode.

For the rest of my life.

I knew I was pregnant, yes. Have a accepted it? Yes. But has it hit me until right now? Absolutely fucking not.

How am I supposed to take care a little human if I can barely manage to take care of myself? How am I supposed to feed a baby if I can't even feed myself.

What did I do?

For the rest of my life.

I don't even know how to change a diaper! Or feed a baby. What am I supposed to feed a baby? I've never been around babies.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my phone ringing. I accepted the FaceTime and Jahseh's face appeared on the screen.

"Hey ma- what's wrong mama?" He put his face closer to the camera.

"I'm panicking," I admitted. It was now I noticed that I was full blown crying. Snot falling down my nose. Face red. Panicking.

"What happened? What's wrong?"

"I was just with Dani in her appointment and I- I'm having a fucking baby!" I said.

"Right now! Isn't it a little early?" He yelled.

"No I just.. it just hit me like bitch you're having a baby and I don't know anything about babies. I've never changed a diaper in my life. And I'm supposed to raise it and feed it and love it. How am I supposed to love a baby if I don't even love myself. And what am I supposed to do if the baby gets sick or what if-"

"Mama calm down.. breath it's okay."

I took a deep breath and sat my phone down my lap and laid my head down on my steering wheel.

"I can't even imagine me being a mom. Like who am I?" I said. "And then I have to make appointments and take her to school. I don't know how to make appointments my mom still makes mine!"

"Baby please just breath. Calm down."

"I'm literally a kid having a fucking kid, I mean I really thought I did something getting a job. I don't want a job!"

"I told you that you didn't have to get a job, mama," he explained. "I can take care of you."

"I have to have a job my mom is not going to let me live with her and not have a job while I got this baby, and it's too late to get a abortion. I don't have the heart for adoption. I'm going to fuck it up. This baby already has emotional problems and It's not even here yet."

"You don't have to have a job I will get us a place, baby. You just worry about you and the baby's health. Focus on school," he explained.

"Then I'm over here having sex on cliffs and shit, I am really out of pocket. Who fucking raised me? I deserved this," I said.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" jahseh yelled at me. "Respectfully."

"Excuse me," I held my phone up to look at him.

"You are a good person and this baby is a good thing, we will be okay. We have some learning to do yes.. but we will be okay, so let's just focus on what we can control. We have a doctors appointment in a little bit let's start there."

I took a deep breath and sighed, "thank you for saying that."

"It's true. You're going to be a good mom because you had the best one to learn from," he told me. "It's gonna be a okay."

"Promise?"

"I promise, mama."