Chapter 57

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Sorry updates have been slow. I've been struggling with stuff in life and writers block.. anyone have suggestions of where ya want this book to go! What do y'all wanna see happen? Any suggestions?
Hajimes POV:

"Hajime what's this?" Nagito asked.
"Hmm!" I looked up since I was putting away dishes from the dish washer.
"Oh! That's the same adoption center we got Yuki!" I smiled.
"I know that... But your looking again?.." he asked.
"W-well yeah! I wanted another kid remember?" I softly chuckled.
"You said in a few years.. Shouldn't we wait? I think it's best for Yuki." He said,
"Oh? Best for Yuki?" I looked at him confused.
"Shouldn't we be giving her all our care and love?" He asked.
"W-well of course! But another could wouldn't mean she gets less love! Plus when I was a kid, I loved having Izuru, I was never lonely when my parents couldn't give me attention!!" I smiled.
"But she's not you. And she's from an orphanage. She's been surrounded by other kids. Don't you think?" He said looking at me if I was dumb.
"Of course I think. And I THINK she'd be better with a sibling. Plus having a big family is what I've always wanted..." I said as I finished putting the dishes away.
"This is about Yuki not you.." he sighed.
I froze. Did he just? I turned around to face him. I looked into his eyes before I scowled at him.
"Of course it is. But normal families just have babies whenever. It's not the child's choice. Of course Yuki's opinion matters. But I still think Yuki growing up with other kids who came from an orphanage and raised with us, will be helpfully to her." I explained.
"You were just gonna make this decision?!" He said suddenly raising his voice and getting close to me.
I backed up into the counter.
"You said that we could.." I answered.
"But did Yuki?!" He asked.
"No! I was just looking! I was gonna have a talk with her!" I yelled back angrily.
"Were you though?! You just said it's not her choice!" He said.
"Of course it's not! She's 4!" I argued.
"Listen, I know your parents didn't talk to you, and you had a rough time with them, but you can't do that to Yuki." He said and had pinned me to the counter.
I was shocked by what he said. Nagito's an idiot. He's a huge stupid idiot.
"How DARE you. I am NOTHING like them. I love Yuki. Must I remind you, I was the one who wanted her." I glared up at him.
"Are you saying I didn't want Yuki?!" He yelled.
"N-no! But you kept putting off kids! And saying no!" I yelled right back.
"God everything has to be about you! Everything has to be like you want! Ever thought maybe I don't want another kid!" He yelled and suddenly we heard the back door close.
We both looked over and I heard crying. Yuki had been outside, I was watching her as I did dishes since our backyard is all fenced in she was perfectly safe. She probably was going to come in when she heard us yelling.
"Fuck you." I said before pushing Nagito and running out the door and to Yuki.
"Yuki? Yuki!" I called for her worried.
I heard her crying behind the tree in our yard. I quickly ran to her.
"Yuki!" I brought her into my arms.
"Baby.." I held her tightly as she cried.
"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.." she cried.
"N-no don't be sorry! You didn't do anything wrong! Daddy and I are okay!" I said as I held her.
"D-does daddy hate me?" She asked holding onto my shirt.
"No not at all! He loves you so so so much! I know it! He loves playing with you, and talking to you!" I reassured her.
"H-he was yelling..." he said.
"Sometimes people get upset, even if they love someone. They still get upset sometimes."
I said as I placed her in my lap and sat against the tree.
"Are you mad?" She asked as she sniffed.
"I'm not. I love your dad a lot. Everything's okay..." I hugged her.
I stood up and held her in my arms letting her cry and I couldn't help but have tears fall from my eyes. I knew he was upset, we both get angry and end up saying things we don't mean. But... it hurt.. he compared me to my.. parents. And he doesn't want anymore kids.. he did grow up an only child. His parents are perfect... they are kind and loving. Maybe he's right.. What if there isn't enough love? Is that why my parents loved Izuru more then me? He's right.
I held Yuki in my arms as I cried softly into her. I don't want her to see me as my parents. I want her to be happy.
"I promise everything's gonna be fine.. I promise your father and I.. We will give you the best life you could have ever asked for.." I sniffled
"Of course we will.." I felt arms wrap around Yuki and I.
"Hm?!" I looked up and saw Nagito holding the both of us.
"Daddy!" Yuki perked up.
"Hey sweetie!" He smiled.
"Come on.. Let's go get some dinner!" He smiled as he grabbed my hand.
I looked up at him and he pulled me close and whispered, "we'll talk about it later.."
and then he kissed my cheek.
I was a bit confused and still a bit upset at him. But mostly just confused.
"Im hungry!" She smiled and wiggled in excitement.
"Mhm! What are you hungry for?" He smiled and carried her off.
——
After dinner Yuki was fast asleep in her room for the night. I was in the bedroom getting ready for bed, I had just finished brushing my teeth when Nagito came in.
"Hajime.." he called.
I looked behind me and gave him my attention.
"Look.. I'm sorry for what I said earlier.. I shouldn't have gotten upset with you, although I understand now.. I was lucky to have rich parents who surrounded me with love all the time, but I work all the time, and you'll be left her to raise Yuki... And you need to do house work, errands, you might go back and teach, and in that case... she should have a sibling.." Nagito said as he hugged me.
"I don't know..." I looked away.
"Huh?" He looked at me confused.
"Maybe you are right though.. can we really give Yuki and another child all our love? My parents didn't, they love Izuru. And they don't love me.." I explained.
"Oh god.. I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have said all those things to you.." he held me tightly.
"I-it's okay! Don't worry!" I smiled and backed up.
"You think you can lie to me?" He frowned.
"I-I'm not!" I smiled again.
"You stutter a lot when you lie.. Hajime I know you better then anyone, despite that I still mess up and hurt your feelings.." he hugged me again.
"I knew you didn't mean it..." I chuckled.
"Even so it still hurt you.. I'm sorry." He apologized.
"It's okay... If you don't want another kid it's okay." I said as I smiled.
It's true.. I'd prefer him happy. I don't want him to ever yell at me again like that. It's not worth it. I love him so much..
"I'm just nervous.. Being a dad.." he said.
I looked up at him shocked.
"Your nervous about being a dad?" I asked.
"Y-Yeah... I work and study a lot.. I don't want Yuki to think I don't love her. I do I love her. I heard the conversation outside.. her asking if I hated her..." he said and he seemed so saddened by it.
"Oh.. But I reassured her! She'll probably say them same about me someday.. It's okay! You're a great father! I couldn't have asked for anyone better to do this with me.." I smiled.
He kissed me before pushing my bangs back and kissing my forehead, and then my cheek and then my other cheek and then my nose.
"Nagito..." I softly chuckled.
"I love you.. I'm sorry for what I said to you.. I really am. I'm sorry for raising my voice at you.." he hugged me tightly. I softly nuzzled into him and rubbed circles into my back.
"It's okay.. I know you only to when you're upset at yourself..." I smiled up at him.
"You're right about that.. and you only yell at me when I'm yelling at you.." he chuckled.
"Mhm!" I smiled before giving him a small pout face.
"I'm sorry.. My lovely husband.. I'm lost with out you..." he held me so tightly.
"It's okay! Truly!" I reassured him.
"Let's get another kid.. Let's get through this month and we'll talk to Yuki okay?" He smiled.
"Okay... I trust you!" I smiled at him.
He picked me up and brought me to our bed before laying me down. He snuggled into my chest. I softly petted his hair.
His hands moved my my waist and he softly rubbed my hips and waist.
"You're really pretty.." he said he snuggled in more.
"Thank you.." I softly chuckled before getting comfortable and falling asleep.

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