[COMPLETED - book 1]
Bourne shook his head. "No, you see, you're getting it wrong. I don't want you to go as boyfriend and girlfriend, I want you two to go as husband and wife."
"Married?" They said in unison. Vanessa stopped in her tracks and put h...
"I can't believe this is how this is going to end," Blake said anxiously, holding up the phone.
Blake, Jacob and Julia stood on one side of the bullet-proof divider while Carmen sat on the other end holding up the phone to his own ear. Each of them was able to take a turn talking to him for the last time.
"Hey, you know what those agents said, we might be able to go to court. We'll see each other then," Carmen smiled trying to make a joke. Blake didn't laugh, Carmen felt worse.
"Listen, everything is alright now. You're free to go, don't worry about me," Carmen wanted to promise this, but he didn't even know what was going to happen. The only thing he could do was to encourage them to move on with life.
"How long do you think you'll be here?" Blake said quietly. Although there weren't too many people in the room visiting the other jail mates, Blake was still conscious of who was listening.
Carmen sighed. "I don't know, man. I've got a good enough case to be locked up here for a very long time."
Blake's face seemed to drop even more. Carmen stared through the divider, watching as all three of them were tearing up at his words, even though Blake could only hear what he was saying.
Carmen's gaze kept looking up at Julia. He couldn't stand watching her look distraught through a glass window.
"I guess this is it, though," Blake's quick smile flopped dramatically.
Carmen didn't want this to be the end. For the very first time in his life, he could call these few people friends, and yet now he was being taken away from it all over again.
This time, it's on you. You've got nobody to blame but yourself.
The voice kept taunting him. It kept telling him he deserved to be in this prison for everything he has done. He felt ashamed. He regretted ever agreeing to let Warner take him in.
One of the officers on the other side stepped up and told the three of them something Carmen couldn't make out through the glass. Blake returned to the phone and told him they had to leave for the airport soon.
Carmen smiled, although he felt the rising emotions start building up. "Hey, we're friends, right?"
Blake hesitated, a slight smile curved his lips. "Worse," he replied, "we're family."
Blake said goodbye on the phone and hung it up on the wall. Carmen was left on the other side of the wall, tears streaming down his face.
Jacob and Blake waved and started walking towards the doors as Julia stood staring for a second. Carmen didn't want her to leave him here.
She stepped closer, picked up the phone and placed it against her ear.
"I wish it didn't have to be like this," her soft voice entered through the phone in his own hand, "we've been through a lot together."
Carmen couldn't hold it together anymore, he started crying even more. He wanted to tell her to never leave him. He wanted to go back to the moments when they were together. There was so much she should have known, so much he should have told her. Now it felt all too late for anything more to be said.
"This isn't fair," she said, "I should be just as guilty as you are."
"Julia," Carmen hesitated, he didn't know what to say. She didn't know everything that had happened when she wasn't there.
An immense feeling wanted to break through the divider and pull her into a hug. His heart fluttered with the ambition to talk to her, to tell her things he never imagined could actually happen to him. He knew he would be questioned in court with the relationships he had with these people. But when it came to Julia, what could he say?
Was it love? Is this what love could actually feel like? He had never felt this feeling, it made him almost sick.
But when he looked at her, even through a clear wall, he felt different. He wanted to tell her that.
"Maybe I could talk to someone, they can get you out of here sooner. Maybe if I go back to those agents they'll help us-"
"Julia," Carmen shook his head, her lips trembled. He didn't know what kind of pain she was going through.
"I want to get you out of here," she whispered.
"I would have nowhere to go anyways, it's no use."
"No use? You deserve to have a life too, Carmen," she sighed.
Carmen shook her comment off. The last thing he needed was more voices telling him how he should be feeling, especially since the guilt that was stuck in his head didn't seem to comply with her words.
"You're going to be late for your flight. I bet they're waiting for you right now."
Julia looked down. "I want to see you again."
He watched her expression. "I'd like that," his smile faded quickly, "but I don't think it's the right thing for you to do."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't think you should be so hung up on me," he said flatly.
She looked up at him. "You saved my life."
"I didn't save your life, Julia. If anything I'm the one who put you in danger."
Julia shook her head. "I don't know if I'd ever make it out of there without your help. If any of us would."
Carmen saw the tears escaping down her cheeks. He wanted to wipe them for her.
"You're free, Julia. Go and enjoy your life, your safe now."
Julia shook her head. "I want you to come with me."
Carmen didn't know what to say back. He pressed his hand up against the glass where hers was.
The officer came over again and said some more things to her, looking impatient.
"You have to go," Carmen tried sounding strong.
Julia looked up at him. "I will see you again, right?"
The look she gave him seemed to break him in half.
"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," he tried smiling.
"Goodbye, Carmen," Julia sniffed, wiping her cheeks, "I'll miss you."
"Bye Julia."
She looked at him once more before hanging up the phone and following the officer out. Carmen was still clutching the phone on the other side pressing himself up against the glass watching her until they were all out of sight.
Carmen got escorted back to his cell. When the guards locked the door and started to walk away he sat on the spring bed and cried even harder.
I miss you already, love.
Maybe it was love. Maybe he was feeling different and it was a good thing.
The only thing he regretted now was never telling her that.
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