Sex Tape [Hemmings]

Fifty five

Jo

     He forgot about me. He said he wouldn't. No. Those were his last words before he became just another gust of wind, making his way through the rainy fields. "I'll never forget about you, Johanna."

He forgot.

Even after the park was out of sight, I couldn't bring myself to look away. Not after five minutes, ten. Not even after an hour.My neck beginning to cramp, I held my position for hours. I couldn't, not once, bring myself to look away. It was as if the moment I turned around, he was gone, forever.

It was as if the moment I looked forward, there was no going back.

I guess I wasted my time. Not hours worth, but months. The time Luke and I spent together, it all meant nothing. What we had, what I thought was real, in fact, wasn't.

I had expected Luke to meet up with Ashton and I. When, I hadn't had a clue, but I waited. First hours, then days. Days turned into months, and here I am, still waiting.

Everything seemed to make sense from then on.

Marcus did tell Luke to ask me to marry him. He wanted me to to feel loved, even if it was fake. He needed me to stick around. I was a source of income, nothing more. Just like Michael told me. He killed my baby, my child's unborn brother or sister, one I never got to hold. Michael killed my baby because it was never the plan.

It seemed that every lie I believed Michael was telling me turned out to be the cold, hard truth, and the more I knew, the more I seemed to lie to myself. As much as I didn't want to believe him then, he was right.

Luke hadn't had a real girlfriend because of his situation, his lifestyle. I was his first, and surely his last. Luke had used me, not for an hour, not for days, but for months. I'd never believe he loved me like he said he did. I loved him, I still do. I always will. But nothing, ever, will change the fact that he didn't come back for me like he said he would.

I guess I should have said goodbye, like he had. I didn't say goodbye and it haunts me day and night. I never got to say goodbye, and now I'm here wondering if Luke, the guy I feel in love with in a matter of days, was even alive.

Ashton came to visit, quite often. So did Calum. He was here almost every other day, and not once did they mention Luke. In all fairness, I stopped asking after a while. I knew he wasn't coming back, not then, not now.

The hardest part of it all is that Michael comes to visit. Not once have I seen or heard from Luke, and here I have Michael, the guy who killed my unborn child, the guy who I once said ruined my life, come to visit.

He didn't talk much, just played with Callie. Yes, Luke and I's daughter. She was a little over one, and had every feature Luke had, and even at such a young age, all I seen in her was Luke, which made it hard for me to look at her. It seemed to get harder every passing moment.

Calum named her. He was there when she was born, and in between tears, Calum took responsibility of naming her. I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had looked into adoption agencies one day, to say the least.

Having her around only meant a part of me that was gone. A part of me I'd never get back.

I never once used the money Luke left me. In fact, I took the bags, my wedding ring, and anything that reminded me of Luke and left it in Calum's hands. I got a job, made my own money, and supported my child.

I still think about him. Every second of every day I wonder what I'm missing out on. Is he alive? Has he found another college girl to take advantage of, make money from her well being, and throw her to the side like I had? Or is he dead? I'd never know.

Callie moved towards the door swiftly, as if she knew someone would be knocking at any moment. A smile grew on her face as the familiar sound of a hand beating against the door rang through the house, a laugh escaping her lips.

I had assumed it was Calum, considering he hadn't been by in four days now. I had expected Ashton next, bringing toys and groceries. Michael was who I had expected last, yet who was at the door I hadn't expected at all. Not after the first month that went by alone, I never expected to see him again.

Callie in my arms, I stood in shock, words clumping all into one in my throat. Nothing came out, not even the slightest sound.

There, stood the boy I tried for the past year to forget. The one who said he'd never forget me. The one who forgot.

My lips quivered, my vision blurred. In my arms, Callie squealed and reached out before me, as if she knew exactly who it was. I on the other hand, had but a clue to who the man standing before me was.

Same, black ripped jeans and ragged t shirt. Same, blonde quiffed hair and lip ring lining his plump lips. Same dark, intimidating eyes. The only difference was the small amount of facial hair and the feelings I had towards this same, exact person none less then a year ago.

My eyes couldn't seem to tear away, except for the small moment they fell upon his hand, the sun shining off the familiar diamond Luke had once given to me. The same one I took off months ago and had given to Calum in hopes to rid of it forever.

Behind him sat numerous black bags, one's I knew all to well. They weren't filled with clothes, but the money I had given to Calum.

And there he stood, on my doorstep, as if nothing had happened. One arm wrapped around my hip, over Callie's thin body and resting on my lower back. The other brushed a stray hair behind my ear, his large, warm hand caressing my cheek.

Still in a loss for words, a smile etched on his face, his eyes filled with tears. "I'm back, baby." His voice was hoarse, and hadn't changed one bit.

In that moment, everything came flooding back. The sex tape. The baby. The ring. Running away. In one, single sentence, everything came back and rushed into my body, my knees weak. Everything I tried to forget was there, it always was.

Luke was someone I could never forget, not even as hard as I tried. I leaned into his grasp, taking everything in. He didn't forget. I didn't forget, even though I tried, I didn't forget.

"I didn't forget you, Jo. I could never forget you."