Sex Tape [Hemmings]

thirty five

Luke

     Johanna. Her name means so much more then it ever should. It's a name, a simple, seven lettered word that brings joy to my ears every time It's spoken.

I love her.

I realize I've done wrong. I have made mistakes, but I want nothing more then to love her unconditionally, and I should show that more often.

I had woken earlier then usual, and began to make breakfast for Jo. I knew the guys would be sleeping longer then usual since Marcus was gone for the rest of the week, and I could use all the time alone with Jo I could get.

Glancing behind me, I heard the slight creak of our bedroom door, seconds later a tired looking Johanna appearing. "Morning, babe." I smiled, her pink lips curving into the slightest grin. Man, she was perfect, and that wasn't in any way the slightest bit of sarcasm. She was utterly and completely perfect.

My arms spread open, I collected her tiny body in mine, resting my head on top of hers. "Did you sleep good, sweetie?" Her arms hugged around my waist, my own around her shoulders, softly running my fingers through her hair.

"Mhm." She mumbled, and I knew I had as well. All night I had made sure she was with me, whether her back was against my chest or her head was rested in the crook of my neck, she was right beside me, how it should be, and how It always will be.

"I thought you might be having some cravings, so I made you something to eat." I motioned behind me to the numerous pots and pans of food, which filled the small room. "Thank you, Luke." Her lips formed a grin, my thumb running over her pale cheek.

Letting her sit, I piled everything onto numerous plates and bowls, setting it before her and letting her take what she pleased. All the left overs would be consumed by the boys, therefore I made more then I knew she could eat alone.

Pressing a kiss to the top of her hair, I grabbed my phone from our bedroom before making my way back to the kitchen, sitting closely to her.

My fingers fiddled over the screen, my heart beating a million miles per minute. Marcus had to know Jo was pregnant now, instead of finding out weeks from now when she starts to show. Replaying the text over and over in my head, I set the phone away from her view, placing my hand on her thigh.

She didn't say anything, and neither did I. It wasn't an awkward silence, but wasn't comfortable either. It was as if we were both thinking of the past, and fighting a way to forget it. I loved this girl more then life itself, but I knew what Johanna had thought of me.

No matter how many times she tells me everything is now okay, it won't ever be. I don't deserve her, yet I have her. I don't treat her properly, yet she's still here.

It's beyond me after all I've done Johanna is still by my side. In the short time period of 2 months, more then I've ever expected to happen has, yet I couldn't be happier in this very moment.

I wonder if her family knew about us. I wonder if they know I dragged her off to Vegas to be with me, or that she was kicked out of school for being in a sex tape. I wonder if she misses her friends, like Anna, who Michael used and threw away, and pretended like nothing happened around Brittany. I wonder what Jo was thinking at this very moment.

I wonder if she knew how much I truly loved her. She smiled, and such a simple gesture made me fall in love all over again.

Her green eyes were glowing, and starring right into mine as she brought her fork to her mouth, her other hand placed over her stomach, which was soon to grow abnormally large.

Jo and I were having a child. That baby in her stomach, was ours. My baby was having a baby, and nothing could seem to go wrong. That was until Marcus texted me back, my face loosing all it's colour, my stomach growing empty.

Johanna was an exception, Luke. A baby isn't.