Miraculous Incorrect Quotes 2

114

Evolution's trailer holy shit.

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I just read an article about a wedding in Bihar that broke down because a monkey and it's friends crashed it-?

India is amazing.

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I also had a weird dream today.

We had a family gathering and suddenly a tiger appeared in a hot pink cardigan.

It gets weirder, trust me.

Then, my mentally ill cousin killed it (?)

With a golden, half-smashed beer bottle.

And then the blood of the tiger dried to reveal-

ice cream.

And then everyone at my fucking family gathering just started eating that shit off the ground.

As if it wasn't just a dead tiger's by-product.

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(P.S. Please do not kill tigers with beer bottles.

Actually, don't kill them at all

They're an endangered species.)

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I had another dream (as a 6-year-old) that I was in a shopping mall with my dad

and suddenly this green monster who looked freakishly similar to Shrek appeared (and I did not know Shrek back then, so I fucking predicted Shrek)

And then the monster grabbed my hand and started to aggressively drag me out of the mall-?

And then my dad grabbed my other hand and started to aggressively drag me back in the mall-?

:0

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The way I remember this with such detail?

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What were some of your weird dreams?

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My sister just told me that she saw two dogs fucking (?) on the side of the road on her way home from school.

This one dog mates (better term than 'fucks' ig) another dog

Then when it's done

It goes to another one.

And does the whole thing again.

:0

What a player.

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Ladybug: There's no 'I' in team.

Ladybug: but there is one in 'pizza'.

Ladybug:

Chat: so you're not going to share?

Ladybug: I am not going to share.