13 Reasons Why Hannah Baker Lived

Chapter 56: The Session

I don't even know where to begin. What I saw yesterday, what I witnessed... I don't have any words. I haven't heard any news about Clay. I've called Justin but he hasn't heard anything. The only thing he knows is that no one is allowed to see him in the psych ward, with the exception of family members. So only Justin & Clay's parents can see him. I've also been trying to book an session with Dr. Ellman after what happened with the drill, but no answer. To make things worse, we've all got college interviews today. This morning, I have a interview with a recruiter from one of the school's from New York as we have the interview in one of the counselor's office..

College Recruiter: Miss Baker, I have to say... your poems that you've submitted to us with your application is indeed fascinating.

Hannah Baker: Oh, thank you. I wasn't too keen with sharing them at first. But then I remembered something that a friend of mine once said to me. He said to me "What you wrote, you can't teach that. You have to live it." I didn't agreed with him at the time. I didn't want to share my poems. Then he stole it and published it on his zine and everyone at school read it and made fun of it. I quit writing after that. But not everyone made fun of my poem. There were some who like it.

Like Clay, he really liked that poem.

College Recruiter: I've got to say, this poem here...

The college interviewer takes out the poem that Ryan posted on his zine.

College Recruiter: It's... both beautiful & alarming. What you've wrote in this poem, have you ever talked to anyone before your attempt?

Of course she knew about my attempt. My parent's lawsuit was over the news.

Hannah Baker: I did. Mr. Porter, but if you've...

College Recruiter: Listened to your tapes, yes we have. But I meant before him, after the poem was released.

Hannah Baker: Oh. I haven't actually.

Gosh, this is gonna take forever. I need to know how Clay is doing.

College Recruiter: Miss Baker, is everything all right?

Hannah Baker: Sorry. I didn't mean to zone out. It was a crazy day, yesterday. There was this drill and I thought I was gonna die.

College Recruiter: Why would you think that?

Hannah Baker: (Exhales) It was a shooting drill. Everyone thought it was real. I thought it was real. And I thought I was gonna die and I didn't want to die. 2 Years ago, I did. But that all changed.

College Recruiter: What changed?

Hannah Baker: Clay Jensen. He was the only one who believed me. He was there for me when I was in a come after my attempt. He helped take down my rapist. He also helped another friend of ours. And yesterday...

God, I can't even get the word our as I begin to break down in front of the college interviewer.

Hannah Baker: (Sobbing) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...

College Recruiter: It's okay. This Clay Jensen must be special to you.

I just nod at her. I can't help and wonder what he's doing right now.

Clay is currently in a psych ward as a orderly makes sure that he is strapped in to his hospital bed.

Clay Jensen: I got a letter inviting me to a college interview, from a college I didn't remember applying to. And then I did remember writing an essay about confessing to covering up a murder. I didn't mean to send it. Somebody else did. And I got the interview. It's a crazy world, right? So, anyway, I have a college interview today. I have to go.