Twenty-Four-Sweet Dreams 6.5

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Eric

I fall asleep easily and wake refreshed with memories of my pleasant dreams.  I rise and go through my normal routine.  I see Tris down at breakfast.  At one point, our eyes meet and she smiles at me.  I go through the motions of my day waiting for the moment she'll step into my office.  When the time finally comes, she sets a hot cup of black tea on my desk with a slice of yellow cake.  My eyes meet hers once more and her smile doesn't feel like it's just a friendly greeting, it actually feels like it's meant for me.  I smile back at her and thank her.  Her smile grows and I'm sad when she's leaving.  I try the dessert and close my eyes.  It's incredible, probably the best she's ever made.  It's some sort of simple lemon cake.  I take a sip of the tea and this really is perfect together. I go back to work when I finish and when she knocks on my door to pick up my dishes, I make a point to tell how much I liked it. 
"Thank you," she laughs lightly.  I can see the blush on her cheeks and she can't meet my eyes.  "It's the simplest cake."
"Do you eat them?" I question. 
"Sometimes," she smiles. 
"Why don't you join me next time?" I offer. 
She looks surprised but nods her ascent. 
The next day, she serves another black tea with a miniature cheesecake.  There's some fresh raspberries on top.  Before she sets it on my desk, she asks if I was serious. 
"I was," I nod and see there are two.  "You want to sit over there?" I say motioning to the sofa. 
"Sure," she replies and takes the tray to my coffee table. 
We sit down together on one side of the corner unit and she hands me my plate.  I thank her and she smiles at me.
"Are you sure this is alright?" she asks biting her lip. 
"We're both salaried and entitled to a break.  If it makes you feel any better, I'd say more than half of the aides disappear to the top floor a couple times a day for a smoke break," I mention. 
I cut the cheesecake and take a bite.  It's much lighter and smoother than the one from the cafeteria. 
"How do you know that?" she asks sipping her tea. 
"Because I used to smoke up there with them," I shrug. 
"You did?" she asks surprised. 
I nod and sip my tea as well.  It's a different kind from yesterday but really good.  These two go really well together. 
"When did you quit?" she asks. 
"Right before initiation," I say.  "Sorry, I was a bit crankier than usual.  One usually gets used to the fix and not having that can make a person irritable."
She blinks and nods. 
"What made you start?" she asks cutting into her cake. 
"It was kind of a social thing.  Someone passed me their cigarette at a party and I tried it.  After a few times, I was buying my own and hooked.  It helped keep me calm during the stress of leadership training and starting my new job," I shrug. 
"So, how'd you quit then?" she asks. 
"With great difficulty," I laugh lightly sipping my tea. 
She smiles sadly at me. 
We talk about lighthearted subjects—her job, my responsibilities, what we each do in our free time.  We finish and I tell her she's always welcome over.  She smiles and says that she might take me up on that. 
We begin meeting every day like this in my office.  It's nice having someone to talk to.  The companionship is surprising.  We have so much in common.  I'd never known how into books she is. 
By the time the weekend hits, she asks me if I'd like to join her at Will and Uriah's apartment for a small get together.  I decide to accept the invitation this time.  She tells me it's after dinner and we can walk together.  We meet by the cafeteria doors and walk the Pit, through the living section.  She glances at me a few times smiling. 
We arrive and are welcomed in.  It's just everyone sitting around drinking and talking.  We play games and cards.  Uriah is just as animated as I always remembered.  I walk Tris home afterwards and ask her what her plans are for the weekend as we walk.  She admits she doesn't really have many.  I offer to do something with her and she accepts. 
We spend Saturday morning working out together.  After lunch, I take her climbing the rock wall since she's never been.  Afterward, we go back to her apartment and she serves me some cookies she's made and coffee.  We sit together on her sofa and I realize she's much closer to me than usual, our legs touching.  Conversation is pleasant as usual but we delve a little deeper in our talks having actual privacy for the first time.  I realize her ex works in the control room and any moment the feed could switch to us when we're in my office. 
"So, how are you doing?" I ask.  She knows what I mean. 
"Better," she nods. 
"Would it be terrible if I asked what happened?" I question. 
She sighs.  "Christina doesn't even know the truth of it," she admits.  "Do you remember my fear landscape?" she asks and I nod.  "It was on par with that."
"What?" I question surprised and hoping she's not serious. 
"Apparently, he didn't really want to get married.  He thought he could get what he wanted and we'd eventually get married several years down the road.  I wanted a full commitment before we did that," she tells me. 
I'm stunned.  I unconsciously put my arm around her shoulder and pull her closer.  "He... he didn't hurt you did he?  Or try to force you into anything?" I question trying to keep my temper in check. 
"He stopped but it took him a little while to see that I protested.  I don't think he meant to hurt me but he didn't understand why I wasn't being like all the other girls in Dauntless.  He kept saying we'd been together so long and he kind of expected it," she explains. 
"But he proposed.  You could have just gotten married," I say confused.  "I've seen Max marry a couple.  It took five minutes.  It doesn't have to be a big wedding."
"He thinks getting married so young is strange," she says flatly. 
"But he thinks making babies is acceptable?" I mock. 
"Right?" she laughs.  There's a moment of silence between us.  "So... since he clearly wasn't interested in marrying me and only gave me the ring to get in my pants, I gave it back and left."
"Good choice," I nod in agreement. 
"Do Dauntless men... really have those kinds of expectations?" she questions. 
"It's common here compared to everywhere else, but it's not expected.  Some people are just looser with their morals," I explain. 
She nods. "What do you think about all of this?" she asks. 
"I want to wring his neck," I admit. 
"Thank you," she says softly.  "What do you believe?" she asks and I'm surprised she's asking me this. 
"I think that marriage is preferable to outside of wedlock.  But I've never been in that kind of situation before.  If I had a girl like you, I'd probably struggle to control my urges but I'd prefer marriage to my own pigheadedness," I say.
"So, you would marry young?" she questions. 
"I would," I nod. 
She smiles at me. 
As time presses on, we grow closer and closer with our conversations. Then, as that progresses, we grow closer physically.  I let her make the first moves because she's been through something traumatic—something straight out of her fear landscape—so I treat this between us cautiously and with the utmost care. She reaches for my hand as we sit together on her couch. I smile in awe at the feeling of holding her, seeing that hand that once held my adversary's ring, void with an indentation and wanting my hand. I lace our fingers together and even raise them to my lips kissing her hand gently just for good measure. I don't want that fear still in her landscape. Ones that are based on reality tend to be the most traumatic and I want it gone. I'll slowly work on her not fearing me.
She begins to hug me goodnight and I accept. I can't help but kiss her cheek when she does that but I never take it any further without her consent. She's making the rules and I'm humbly submitting for now. I'll admit, I want her completely but I'm not going to force her. I always need to be in my right frame of mind, focusing on her wants. I'm not going to take this too far and if I did, I would do whatever she asks of me. 
One day as I walk her home, she hugs me at the door.  I respond wrapping my arms around her and bending down to her level to hold her tightly.  I feel a gentle kiss to my cheek and I smile leaning in to kiss hers as well when she turns and meets my lips with hers.  It's chaste—sweet and short—but I'm not complaining.  I want all of her—forever.  And I'm okay with taking this slow.  She says goodnight and I tell her the same.  Left alone in the hallway, I feel the ghost of her soft lips on mine, my heart radiating in exhilaration from that small kiss. 
The next day is longer, more full of passion.  The third kiss is on my sofa and I don't hold back with this one.  I use my tongue and she seems surprised—clearly being her first kiss like this but I continue... teaching her.  I can sense she's slowly falling in love with me.  I don't press the physical.  I know she's a former Stiff—not used to any kind of touch so I still take it slow. 
After about a week of us becoming official, I can't take it anymore and I propose communicating my full intentions with her—that I do want her to be my wife and soon.  But I tell her we can go at her pace.  If she wants a big wedding, we can wait... but if she wants to elope, we can do that anytime.  I explain about what's expected of leadership though, the massive party afterwards similar to after initiation—faction-wide.  She nods in understanding and I think I should've waited for her answer before saying all of that. 
"Sorry, that was kind of unromantic, wasn't it?" I question biting my lip. 
"It's okay," she says softly.  "You know what I've been through."
I nod but she doesn't answer.  She reaches for my hands and meets my eyes with hers. 
"How do you feel about me?" she asks gently. 
I sigh shakily before I admit, "I've been in love with you since the first day you came to Dauntless."
Her eyes soften at that. 
"I was afraid that maybe..." she says looking away, unable to meet my eyes. 
"Maybe, what?" I ask gently turning her chin to meet my eyes once more. 
"I don't know," she shrugs.  "That maybe you pitied me, that you were settling."
"No," I tell her shaking my head.  "It's always been you.  I've only gone slow for your sake, not mine.  I know how he was and I've seen your fears.  I didn't want to scare you away.  I've been hopelessly in love with you for so long."
"Why didn't you say something sooner?" she frowns.  Her bottom lip trembles. 
"Because you already had someone.  You thought about him enough for him to be in your fear and you even kissed him before that," I explain. 
She looks away once more.  "He's the one that kissed me," she admits.  "He pursued me during training."
"I guess he's not training next year then," I say matter-of-factly. 
Her eyes meet mine.  "He shouldn't have been fraternizing with initiates.  He's lucky I don't throw him out for that," I tell her. 
She nods not arguing. 
I sigh.  "I guess he kind of beat me to it."
"I wish I would've known before..." she whispers. 
"Why's that?" I ask caressing her cheek. 
"Because I would've picked you," she says softly before meeting my eyes... and then my lips with hers.  "Yes," she whispers. 
I laugh in disbelief and kiss her passionately.  We elope that night and go off to Amity for a few weeks.  We huddle in the warmth of my family's cabin in front of a fire since it's winter now.  We walk through the forest and when it snows we ski together.  I'm gentle with her until she's comfortable and then my dreams come true and she's mine forever.  We have our faction reception upon our return and she looks gorgeous in her full, floor length dress.  It's beautiful and simple but kind of mysterious and alluring as well. 
The days pass and everything goes back to normal.  There's a soft knock on my office door and I call her in.  She places a plate on my desk.  This time looks to be another lemon cake with black tea but she's made little candied lemons and put a thin frosting on top.  She removes her hand from the plate and I see that beautiful, shiny black metal band with a matching engagement ring encrusted in black stones and diamonds.  She looks at it differently than the other, but not because of the worth and cost.  This one she cherishes more because this one was given out of love and affection, rather than what was believed I could get out of her for it. 
I call that beautiful woman to me with a pull of my finger.  I rub her protruding belly, the loose dress she's wearing hiding my firstborn under there.  She smiles at me and kisses my lips gently.  I can't help but think of how sweet my reality is... like a dream.

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