Fifty-Nine-You Wash, I Dry 18.3

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Tris

Monday morning is the same routine—help in the cafeteria and then clean the nearest bathrooms. I go to the leadership level and do my typical routine. Eric's in his office again today. I offer to come back during lunch but he tells me now is fine. I clean his office while he's working and I can actually feel his gaze on me. I clean quickly, then move on to Ryan's and so on.
I handle my work throughout the week and before I know it, it's Saturday and I'm knocking on his door again. Eric answers this time dressed and ready for the day. I step in and it still smells like cleaner. I blink in surprise and look around but everything is just as I left it last week.  I decide to ask, "Did you... clean?"
"I did," he nods.
I blink again. "What... did you want me to do?" I question baffled.
"Would it be crazy if I asked you to spend the day with me?" he says.
"What?" I ask confused.
"I want to spend the day with you," he repeats softly.
"Why?" I ask flushing, totally withdrawn.
"Because I like you, Stiff," he tells me.
"I..." I stammer. "I... don't know what to say."
"I kind of sprung it on you, didn't I," he laughs lightly. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to."
I meet his eyes and I see that he is attracted to me. I don't know what to do. I feel totally unprepared and surprised by this.
"You really are a Stiff, aren't you?" he teases. He touches my cheek. "Stay with me," he requests.
"Okay," I say softly.
He grasps my hand and leads me over to his sofa. We sit down together.
"There's no laundry to do?" I ask.
"No," he grins shaking his head. "Can I admit something?"
"Alright," I reply.
"You're the only girl I've ever had up here," he divulges.
From seeing his apartment before, I can believe it. I know those rumors aren't true. And the girls talking about his apartment... it's obvious they're lies.
"Why me?" I ask confused.
"I don't know," he admits. "There's just something about you that's different. I like you, Tris. I can't say that about anyone else."
I meet his eyes again and I know I'm blushing.
"You're so beautiful," he whispers. He reaches out to me and he kisses me. I automatically close my eyes.  It's so unexpected... and passionate. I'm shocked but I respond. It feels so nice to be desired, cherished.  He moves quickly and reaches for the hem of my shirt grazing my abdomen.  I put a hand there to stop him. 
"Right, the fear," he nods. 
"It's not just that," I admit. 
"What is it?" he asks me pecking my lips again. 
"I'm waiting until marriage," I tell him. 
He purses his lips and nods, "That's not as common in Dauntless but it is in most other factions."
"Oh," I say because I don't know really what to say. 
"You know, you marry a leader and it's for life," he tells me. 
"I wouldn't have thought of marriage any other way than that," I admit but I can't believe that's his response.  He's not appalled by my suggestion—that he'd possibly be willing in the future. 
He grins at me.  "We can take things slow," he nods.  He kisses me gently again and I've never been kissed like this before.  There's so much intensity and desire.  He reaches out and threads his fingers through my hair.  He turns my chin up and sloppily kisses my neck.  He reaches my collarbone and kisses each raven.  He makes his way back up my neck and to my ear. I shudder at the sensation, my abdomen aching. 
"You're my girl," he whispers. 
"Uh huh," I mutter unable to form a coherent response.  I feel like jelly in his arms. 
I can sense his smirk against my skin.  But I remember what Four told me about him... and this may be the most dangerous situation for me to be in.  He continues to kiss my ear and all thoughts leave my mind.  I've never experienced the quaking, aching feeling he's causing. 
"Are you experienced at this?" I ask him shakily. 
"No," he whispers.  "Only fantasized about you."
"What?" I ask confused. 
"I've wanted you since the day you set foot in Dauntless," he tells me before kissing my lips again. 
I whimper at how he devours me.  His tongue enters my mouth and I've never been kissed like this.  I meet his and he seems pleased with me.  I shiver at the sensation of his tongue stroking mine.  His kisses and so addictive, making me crave more. 
"Not so Stiff-like," he teases leaning back against the sofa. 
I laugh at that and kiss him again. 
He sighs.  "I can't wait to rub this in Four's face," he grins. 
I chuckle at that. 
"Are you just out to provoke him?" I ask grinning. 
"No," he shakes his head.  "It's just an added bonus."
I chuckle again and rise up on my knees.  I lean forward and kiss him again.  He pulls me closer and responds. 
"You wanted to take things slow, right?" he whispers breathlessly. 
"Mmhmm," I mutter kissing him again. 
"We better stop then, Stiff," he tells me. 
"Alright," I reply when I realize what I'm doing to him. 
I kiss his strong jaw gently and he smells incredible.  I lean against him and he stares into my eyes and strokes my cheek. 
"So you cleaned, huh?" I grin. 
"I did," he nods. 
"Why?" I question. 
He shrugs and explains that it just got out of hand.  He was training for leadership and was so busy with his studies that he didn't have any spare time.  Then he had to maintain that level of dedication once he became a leader.  He was constantly working overtime.  When things finally slowed down to normal, it was an overwhelming amount that he just couldn't deal with. 
I nod. 
"I can clean but to tackle this disaster takes a special kind of talent," he grins. 
I smile in response, how that's a compliment to me. 
"I can cook, too," he adds. 
"I figured," I grin.  There were some pots and pans I washed in the kitchen.  "I haven't really attempted much since Dauntless.  I can make plain food but I usually eat in the cafeteria."
"You haven't gone out much?" he asks surprised. 
"Not really," I shrug.  "I've had pizza delivered.  The Pedrads are huge fans of that.  So, is Four," I whisper the last part quietly. 
"You've never gone out?" he asks confused. 
I shake my head. 
"How about we go out sometime?" he offers. 
I smile at that, "I'd like that."
He pecks my lips again. 
I put my arms around his shoulders and lean my head against his chest.  I feel a kiss to the top of my head.  I never knew it could be like this.  I enjoy just sitting in his company. 
"Can I ask you something?" Eric says softly. 
"Of course," I reply. 
"Your last fear with your parents, Jeanine is making you kill them.  Where does that stem from?" he asks. 
"Um..." I start and move away slightly to look in his eyes.  "I guess I feel like Erudite has declared war with Abnegation with words first in the paper, like they're trying to depose them.  It feels like they're going to make me remove them.  My worst fear is that in Dauntless, I'd be forced to hurt them."
He nods. 
"My worst fear involves her, too," he admits. 
"Really?" I question surprised. 
"I'm afraid she'll hurt my sister," he divulges. 
"Why?" I ask confused. 
"Because she has custody of her and she's threatened to do so before," he explains. 
I frown at that and he pecks my lips gently.
"She's my family," he admits. "My aunt. When my parents passed away, she received custody of us."
"I didn't know that," I say sadly.
The woman I fear the most is his relative.
"You fear her?" I question.
"What she could do to my sister," he nods.
"Is she that bad?" I ask concerned.
"She's a monster," he tells me.
He would know. They're family.
"I thought she was scary when I met with her. She oddly seemed to like me, though," I say.
"She did," he nods.
"She called you?" I question.
"Yeah," he says.
We sit in silence for a while.
"Is what Four told me true?" he inquires.
"About what?" I ask.
"Why you went to Erudite," he clarifies.
"Oh," I frown. I explain what happened, how Four kissed me, ignored me, then humiliated me. He seems upset.
"So he frequently lies to me," he deduces.
"Possibly," I tell him.
"And he was messing around with initiates," he says.
I frown at that. Uriah mentioned once afterward that it's not allowed.
"I didn't know the rules," I say softly.
"But he was aware," he points out.
My frown deepens. Uriah said that could lead to expulsion from Dauntless.
"I won't do anything about it this time but I may appoint a new initiate trainer," he tells me.
"Like who?" I inquire.
"Maybe Hayes. He seemed interested," he mentions.
I laugh in horror.
"What?" he questions.
I explain everything—my torment of initiation.
"Fabulous," he says sarcastically. "Why didn't you tell me?"
I frown again.
"You weren't very approachable," I admit.
"I'm not approachable?" he questions raising an eyebrow.
"You are now... somewhat," I say.
"Somewhat?" he laughs snuggling with me.
I chuckle as he kisses my neck. It quickly turns into a make out session. He hovers over me and kisses me. He holds me, nuzzles me. I run my fingers through his hair and it's so incredibly soft. He pecks my lips once more.
"What can't you tell me?" he asks softly.
I meet his eyes and I know I flush heavily.
"There's something you're hiding," he whispers on my neck.
He kisses me there—once, twice.
"Tell me," he pleads.
He meets my eyes moving back by my side on the sofa.  I mention what I heard about Erudite during initiation—the obsession with Divergence.  He stares at me. 
"She is obsessed," he admits. 
"What do you think about all of that?" I ask him.  I know I flush and I'm dying to know what he believes. 
"I try to stay out of that," he admits. 
"Is she hurting them?" I inquire. 
He sighs and looks away.  "I don't know what she does," he divulges.  "I just want no part in it."
"Why?" I ask. 
"Because what she's doing feels wrong," he replies. 
"Have you ever had to..." I start and he meets my eyes.  I can tell by his expression that this is not a subject he takes lightly. 
"Has she asked me to search for them here?" he questions.  "Yes," he nods.  "Do I know what I'm looking for?  Of course.  She's raised me to identify them.  I know exactly what you are, Tris," he tells me.  My face flushes heavily and my heart beats wildly in my chest.  "But unless she specifically asks for one in particular, I tell her I can't find any."
I feel dizzy at his admission—he knows
"I will protect you," he whispers to me.  He kisses me lovingly and I respond.  I still fear him in the back of my mind... but, he knows—he's known this whole time and instead of turning me in, he's kissing me.  He wants me.
He pecks my lips and nuzzles me. 
I think about what he said, though.  "Has she asked for any?" I question. 
"Only Edward and Myra that you know," he tells me and I pale at that.  "The night he was injured, she had finally hacked through the Aptitude Test results for Erudite.  She requested them based on their results.  I had the cameras turned off in the infirmary and I told them their options."
"What were their options?" I question. 
"I said she was requesting them.  Myra was already out and there was nothing that could be done for his eye other than to let it heal.  So, I told them I could take them to Factionless or Amity.  They picked Factionless since Edward said he couldn't handle Amity," he divulges. 
I gape at him.  He takes his hand and pushes my chin up to close my mouth. 
"You've never given her one before?" I question. 
"No," he shakes his head.  "I have an arrangement with Amity.  Factionless is easy but kind of a terrible life."
"What do you tell her?" I ask. 
"That I've handled it," he shrugs.  "I figure that if she catches one, I'll just tell her I kicked them out."
"What does she want you to do with them?" I ask. 
"She wants me to take them to her to study or kill them," he divulges. 
"What would you do if she asks for me?" I question. 
He meets my eyes.  "Then I would go to war against Erudite," he says firmly.  He actually sounds scary. 
He kisses me possessively. 
"I don't want to think about that," he tells me. 
"What do the other leaders know about it?" I question. 
He sighs and looks away.  "Her faction is her own.  Unless she starts harming our members, it's out of our jurisdiction.  That's why she asks for initiates.  They're not members yet and it's a grey area," he elaborates. 
"So asking for me would be an act of war," I realize. 
"It would," he says.
"So... I don't need to hide out, do I?" I question.
"I wouldn't announce it," he advises. "You go to Erudite often," he points out.
"Would she seriously take me?" I question.
"I honestly don't know, but I don't want to find out," he admits.
I nod in reply.
I can tell he doesn't like to talk about this, that thinking about Jeanine asking for me is a sore spot.  I kiss him to get his mind off my questions... but I no longer fear him.  I trust him.  He sort of is working for her—probably for the sake of his sister—but it's a ruse.  He holds me affectionately and I realize he does truly care for me. I peck his lips and grin. I really like what I have with him. I never would've thought.
"Would it be too soon to tell you that I'm in love with you?" he asks searching my eyes.
I stare at him in surprise... but I think about how he always wanted me to stay around him and how he spoke to Four. I smile at him and kiss him. Four never said those words to me and it feels amazing to hear them. He loves me.
He orders lunch in and we stay cuddled up together for most of the day. We eventually take our dishes from lunch to the kitchen. I wash and he dries and it's bliss to have someone join me in this. He sneaks a few kisses while I'm cleaning and I can't help but chuckle. I love it. This is incredible—something I never would've expected.
He plays some music, dancing with me and teaching me the steps. I smile and I honestly don't want to leave. He offers to take me out for dinner but I'm not exactly dressed for that. I tell him as much.
"How about tomorrow?" he suggests.
"I have church in the morning..." I point out. "But I'll be dressed for that."
"I could take you out in Erudite," he suggests nudging me lovingly.
"What?" I laugh.
He explains that there's a restaurant there he can take me to for lunch.
"You're going to come all the way to Erudite to take me out to lunch?" I question disbelievingly.
"No. I'm coming with you," he says.
I'm shocked, staring in bewilderment.
"You don't mind if I join you, do you?" he questions caressing my cheek.
I meet his eyes and I see his earnestness. "No," I shake my head. "I don't mind." I laugh lightly and bite my lip. I'm actually so excited about that.

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