Forty-Nine-The Chasm 15

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Tris

I sit in the dark abyss of the Chasm with my eyes closed listening to the crashing waves. It soothes my nerves. I take a deep breath and release it slowly. I sigh shakily.
I wish he didn't keep picking fights with me. I'm not used to such confrontation. He's angry that I'm considering leadership. He believes it's too risky and foolish on my part but I think it may be an opportunity to do some serious good and make an impact in the future.
I hear the party going on upstairs—the music and the thump of the bass vibrating slowly in the background if I focus on it. This should be a joyful evening but he's kind of ruined the whole night. His harsh words have just left a bitter taste in my mouth.
Max came up and spoke to me right after the ranks were announced. He said leadership was impressed with me and that they wanted me to consider being the next leader-in-training. Four was standing beside me with a sour expression on his face for the entire conversation and as soon as Max left, he told me to pick anything else. I just gaped at him and he left, telling me he'd see me at the party. I told Christina what happened and she thinks I need to decide what's most important to me—leadership or Four. I'm pretty sad that I can't have both. I mean, I was just talking with my friends about making a difference in our city and this offer is exactly that. But... I know he has his reasons. I'm sure he's concerned about me hiding my identity around the others.
During the party, he approached me and told me I should consider taking a less prestigious position and laying low. But... I want to enjoy my life and not settle. I feel like taking his advice is compromising my dreams and replacing them with something I don't want.
I hear a huff beside me as someone sits down.  I open my eyes to see it's Eric.  I have mixed feelings about him joining me here. 
"Hey," he nods. 
"Hi," I respond softly. 
"Pondering your choices?" he questions. 
"Something like that," I nod.  I'm actually not here for that.  I'm here because Four upset me and I need to calm down. That's not exactly the best way to start out a relationship... but I like him... sometimes.  Although tonight, he feels more like instructor Four telling me what to do than my boyfriend speaking out of worry for my well-being.
"You know, if you're concerned about it, you could always take your time and think it over.  We're not offering the position to anyone else," he confides. 
I blink in surprise that he's divulging that to me. 
"Thanks for the tip," I respond gratefully. 
"No problem," he shrugs sipping a beer. 
I'm in awe that Eric is being so easygoing and conversational.  I never would've expected this during initiation.  He lists off the other positions available tomorrow and I listen intently.  There's a few high ranking—desirable—positions just like he told us before. 
"You get first pick so it doesn't matter if you know what there is," he tells me.  "Just think on it.  You could always pick what you want and spend some time debating about leadership.  I know you've got Four giving you advice.  He left leadership training for the lamest reason.  This is something you need to decide for yourself.  Just know you'll honestly have until next year to accept because there's nobody else we'll consider until then.  Four's been offered the position so many times but I'm sure Max is tired of his rejections.  Honestly, so am I.  Just think about it."
"Thanks," I say to him as he rises. 
He nods and leaves. 
I didn't know that Four actually tried out for it.  I thought he always turned it down... so there was a time when he actually said yes...
I think about the other options he told me.  Out of the choices, office aide for leadership, weapons design, and security assistant sound best.  Tattoo artist, shop attendant, janitor, and cafeteria worker sound lower level along with fence guard for the rest.  I think if I don't pick leadership, I'd choose either office aide or security assistant.  But now that I think about it, I don't know much about the difference of either position.  I'm tempted to ask someone.  I regret not asking Eric because he seems so easygoing and casual now.  He actually appeared to be kind and understanding—almost like he wanted me to choose leadership, to be his equal.  That doesn't sound like how I always believed him to be—how Four had portrayed him.  I feel like from the moment he stepped into the cafeteria, Four was telling me anything he could to turn me away from Eric and leadership. 
I think about asking Uriah since he seems knowledgeable about so many Dauntless things but I hear he's a bit of a gossip.  The rest of the Dauntless born may do the same... or get jealous that I know what our choices are early.  Maybe I should just ask Four...
I rise and decide to search him out. I climb the stairs and look through the space in the Pit. Everyone is dancing in the main area or drinking.  I see several people sitting at tables and some are leaned up against the surrounding walls. I notice Zeke being animated near the bar and Tobias is right beside him laughing. I stride right up to him and tap on his shoulder.
"Hey, there you are," he grins slurring his words.
Maybe he's had too much again like the time I saw him above the Chasm. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses my cheek. I giggle in surprise.
"Can I ask you something?" I say to him.
"You want to talk?" he questions.
I nod.
"Sure," he says rising and leading me away from the Pit. We walk away from all of the commotion and he leads me down a few hallways where it's not so noisy and we have more privacy.
"What's going on?" he asks me.
"I was thinking about jobs and I'm wondering what some are that I've heard of," I mention.
"Okay, shoot," he nods.
"What's a security assistant?" I inquire.
"It depends," he says leaning an arm against the wall. "There are tons of jobs in security. I've heard of a position opening up as Jax's assistant if that's what's going around. He's the head of the Dauntless army—sixth in line of Dauntless. His assistant would be seventh so that's clearly working too close to leadership for you," he tells me.
I frown at his words. "But... what would one do?" I question.
"It doesn't matter. You shouldn't consider that," he says shaking his head dismissively.
My frown deepens but I decide to move on. "What about an aide?" I inquire.
"For leadership?" he asks.
I nod.
"Too close to them, too," he waves it away. "You should look for something like... shopkeeper, tattoo artist, fence guard..."
"Or cafeteria worker?" I ask raising an eyebrow irritably.
"Perfect," he grins leaning down to kiss me.
I walk away with my arms crossed. I'm so angry right now that he won't even tell me what these positions do.
"Tris?" he calls out. "Hey, Tris!" he continues but I've already gone back towards the party. I make my way through the crowd of people dancing to lose him. He's the last person I'm going to for advice from now on. I cross the entire expanse of people on the dance floor to the other side of the Pit. I'm about to sit down at an empty table by myself when I see Eric out of the corner of my eye. He's leaning up against a wall with several men around him. They're all substantial in size and a bit intimidating. One says something to him making him laugh and I've never seen that before—him appearing so... normal. I feel like he's been nicer and more understanding this evening than Four has. I decide to walk over and ask him.
He sees me coming and whispers to his friend before stepping away from them and meeting me halfway. I smile as he approaches me.
"You look like you've got some questions," he smirks.
"I do actually," I reply.
He leads me away from the crowd and up some stairs. We step out on a balcony and it's nice out here—private, quiet and beautiful.
"So... what's on your mind?" he asks.
"Some of those positions you mentioned... I was wondering what they do exactly," I admit.
"Sure," he nods. He leans against the railing and begins telling me about the first job—the leadership office aide position. He explains what they generally do—working in the office, handling paperwork, computers, assist with drinks and on occasion food for leadership and guests. He explains that sometimes they may run errands around the compound but that's not consistent. I nod with a greater understanding. He explains the schedule—generally eight to five weekdays with a lunch but they may stay later if needed. He moves onto the weapons technician and I nod at the details he gives me. It's fascinating and definitely more interesting than I'd initially assumed. Next, he explains the security assistant and it is, in fact, Jax's assistant. He tells how the schedule is somewhat regular with the occasional trip taking longer. He tells me I would accompany Jax out of the compound on inspections, deal with security issues with leadership—so meetings from time to time. He says that it's primarily office work with running errands and communicating between security departments. He says with leading the army, I'm expected to be exceptionally fit so I have to workout regularly as part of my training routine for the position. I'd have to learn more in depth fighting techniques and increase my strength.
I smile at his explanation.
"Do you want me to continue?" he asks.
"No," I shake my head. "You've more than explained what I was considering."
"What about leadership?" he asks.
I waver at that.
"How about I explain it? And then you can have a better grasp on what to expect," he suggests.
"Alright," I agree since he's convinced me.
He tells me about what he had done in training. He starts with the physical training which I hadn't expected. Leadership is expected to be at a higher standard physically than the rest of the faction, so I nod at that. Then he speaks on the leading aspect—learning about the laws, duties, and study that's expected. He says most take a year or two but he completed his studies in six months. He goes on to tell me what he routinely does—paperwork, meetings, faction visitations and hosting others. He explains more details of what work he does in the office—budgets, assignments, law changes, punishments, outside problems... etcetera.
I nod grasping the actual job description so much better now. I feel like I can make an informed decision.
"Do you have any more questions?" he asks.
"No. You've more than answered my questions," I reply. I thank him and he actually smiles at me.
He walks me back to the party and gets me a non-alcoholic drink—some sort of sweet, bubbly beverage—and encourages me to have some fun tonight.
"I'll see you in the morning," he tells me before leaving.
"Alright," I smile.
I sip the drink and it's incredible. I smile and look around the room. My eyes land on Four and he does not look happy. He strides right over to me and snatches the drink from my hand.
"Why were you with Eric and letting him buy you drinks?" he questions harshly.
I blink in surprise at his tone and audacity.
"He was answering my questions," I reply.
"I don't want you anywhere near leadership and especially not Eric," he says angrily.
"Why Eric?" I inquire.
"Because I said so," he tells me.
"Perhaps you've had too much to drink," I tell him walking away.
He grasps my arm and turns me around.
"He is the leader you need to be most concerned with, Tris," he whispers in my ear. "He's the most dangerous for someone like you."
"I don't think so," I disagree.
"Then you're blind and naïve," he snaps.
"I guess I just don't see what you see," I reply.
"Just stay away from him and choose the cafeteria job. It's the best life you can get in your situation," he insists. "My girl is staying as far away from him as she can," he demands storming away from me.
I feel like I've been punched in the gut, his biting words taking the breath out of me. I find myself weaving through the crowd once again and sitting on the cool, damp surface at the bottom of the Chasm letting the rush of the water lull my frazzled senses back to normal. I stay here for the rest of the night until the music stops. I rise and go to bed for my last night in the dorms coming to the best decision I can as a compromise with him.

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