Snow // Willas Tyrell // Oberyn Martell

53. Skewer him

'Well?" Josie questioned cautiously.

'He fell asleep severly drunk on the couch.' Sansa told her gratefully and Josie let out a breath of relief.

"That is good to hear.' Josie confirmed.

"But he is not going to be that drunk everynight.' Sansa reminded her.

'I mean... have you met Tyrion? He is constantly drinking I'm surprised he can walk at all with his alcohol consumption.' Josie mused.

'It's not funny.' Sansa told her.

"It's a little funn- Right sorry.'

"My life is over!" Sansa declared.

'It is not.... you just...' Josie knew nothing she could say would anything any better.

'What? I just what?" sansa sneered.

'He is not a bad man.' Josie told her.

'He is a Lannister.' Sansa reminded

'Okay, okay...' josie had a thought. 'If Tyrion looked like Loras but still a Lannister would you be having these same thoughts?" Josie countered and sansa's lips pursed. 'He is not a bad man.' Josie repeated. 'He didn't force himself upon you and...' Josie's brain was working overtime to think of something that might help but coming up empty.

'And? He doesn't look like Loras, he is a Lannister and he is an IMP!" Sansa shouted.

"Who wants a pretty boy like Loras?" Josie mused and Sansa gave her a sour face. 'okay I admit that I would have preferred us to go to high garden yes, but I will talk to Tyrion, make sure he knows-'

'Knows what?" Sansa shouted.

"That you are the boss in this relationship and if and when the time ever comes where you have feelings for him, you will let him know.' Josie told her and Sansa scoffed. 'Not a moment sooner or I will skewer him.'

'Cant you just skewer him now?" Sansa pondered. 

++

Joffrey was at the small council meeting. Smiling widely practically bouncing with joy when tyrion arrived.

'Killed a few puppies today?' Tyrion question sitting down, at the opposite end.

'Show him show him' Joffrey said excitedly master pycelle handed over the note but it slipped from his fingers

'Apologies my Lord, old hands.' Tyrion bent over snatching it off the ground reading through the note

'Rosalyn caught a fine fat trout her brothers gave her a pair of wolf pelts for her wedding signed Walder Frey... Is that bad poetry or is it supposed to mean something?' Tyrion questioned

'Robb stark is dead,' Joffrey said 'killed him and his bitch mother.'  He turned his attention to master pyeclle. 'write back to Lord Frey tell him thank you for his service and command him to send Robb starks head I'm going to serve it to Sansa at my wedding feast!'

'Your Grace lady Sansa is your aunt by marriage.' Varys reminded him.

'A joke.' Cersei said 'Joffrey did not mean it.'

'Yes I did' he told his mother 'I'm going to have it served to sansa at my wedding feast.' Joffrey informed

'No.' Tyrion declared. 'she is no longer yours to torment.'

'Everyone is mine to torment' Joffrey corrected 'you do well to remember that you little monster.'

'Oh monster.' Tyrion said 'perhaps you should speak to me more softly then... monsters are dangerous and just now kings are dying like flies.' The room went silent, as everyone else turned to Joffrey. Joffrey turned to his grandfather appalled.