I Made a Promise

Chapter 53

~Skylar's POV~
I couldn't believe that Liz told Danny.
During the car ride home I was just tearing up out of frustration.
Once we got home, I dropped my bag off right at the front door.

"Babe?" Daniel asked me.
I looked at him.
"Hmm?" I asked him.
"You know why we came home." He told me.

I took a deep breath.
"Yea.. I know... just.. wait here..." I told him.
I went into the guest room and got the box.
When I came out with it, Daniel was confused.
"What's... that? Isn't that the box from last night?" He asked me.

I nodded my head.
"Yea but before I show you this.. what exactly did Liz tell you?" I asked him.
"All she said was that it was something from your last. After your brother died, and you regret it. That's it. And you hiding all this from me is just very shocking and worrisome because you're the one who made that whole promise about no lies and secrets." He told me.

"Ok yea, but you're the one who talked about trust." I told him.
"You're right.. I did... but you have to see it from my point of view. All I see is that you have this big secret that is eating you alive and it hurts me to see you like this." He told me.

I just sat down on the couch with the box on the coffee table.
"Ok so..." I sighed and rubbed my face. Then I continued.
"My senior year... after Cam died.. and after my life was finally getting back to normal, I hit this really rough patch. It's like.. my body was on autopilot. I remember I was just faking a smile, to please my family. Just doing the simplest things like driving to school or eating lunch was a challenge because everything reminded me of him..." I explained.

Daniel looked at me.
"Um... everything was just... hard. Then I.. I met thing guy... he was my boyfriend for a while... um, he saw that I was hurting, even when I tried to hide my pain... and.. he explained that he could help me..." I said.
Daniel looked at me confused.
"What happened?" He asked me.

I opened the box and took out some photos of Noah and I together. I gave them to Daniel and he looked at them. Then I gave him a photo that one of mine and Noah's old friend took of us, doing some drugs.
Daniel looked at me. I nodded my head.

"His name was Noah... he was the most typical high school boy. Captain of the football team, good looks, somehow always parties. After hanging out with him
for a week two, he noticed I was always just stressed out or anxious. So he explained to me that he could help me with that... he invited me to this party... I went... and probably... 20/30 minutes into the party... he told me to follow him. We went to this room... um... there was a bunch of people and I was confused at first. Then Noah pulls out all these pills, powders, needles. Anything you could think of, he had it." I explained.

"What did you do?" Daniel asked me.
I started tearing up.
"I just... I wanted the pain to stop... and I thought that if self harm and suicide didn't work, maybe this would. And I grabbed a bag of powder and took a snort... about 20/30 minutes later, once the high kicked in... all my troubles just... melted away... and... I just kept on doing it. Where it was powder, pills, or injections.. I did it all... and every single time I would do it... I kept hearing Cam in the back of my head telling me to stop. That this wasn't me..." I said.

He looked at me and put his hand on my thigh.
I pulled out a picture of Noah and I on a rooftop. We
We're smiling at each other with the sunset behind us but you could see the stuff in our hands.
"How did you quit? When?" Daniel asked me.

"Um... I noticed I was developing a tolerance after about 2 months... I started needing more for the high to kick in... that's when I realized, it's only gonna get worse from there... so I made the decision to quit... I stopped talking to Noah, stopping doing drugs.. it took about a month... but it was worth it... yes it made me feel better, but it was never a permanent solution. Once the high wore off I always felt the same or worse. But after I quit, I found a good group of friends and the rest of my senior year was just good..." I explained.

Daniel put his hand on my shoulder.
"Why did you hide this from me?" He asked me.
"I... I didn't want you to see me differently... I didn't want anyone to know that side of me..." I said.
"Did your family know?" He asked me.
I shrugged my shoulders.
"I don't know... I was always careful... I only ever did it on the weekends or after school and got sobered up before I got home..." I explained.

"What's about your therapist? Did he ever know?" Be asked me.
"I never told him... I don't know..." I said.

I looked at the box and went through it.
"This is why Liz said that that case we had last week really messed with you..." he told me.
I nodded my head without looking at him.

I pulled out the USB that I found last night.
"What's that?" Daniel asked me.
"I'm not sure... I found it last night in here. There was a note that said 'watch if you ever think about using again'. I don't even know what's on here. I don't remember." I said.

"Do you... wanna watch it together?" He asked me.
I looked at me and I honestly didn't know.
"Um... I don't know... I can't even remember what's on here or could be on here..." I said.
"Why don't I get your laptop and we watch it together?" He asked me.

I hesitated for a second, but agreed.
"Ok... yea let's do it.." I said.
He got up and grabbed my laptop. And he came back to put the USB in it.
"What if this changes things for us?" I asked him.
"Don't worry. I'm not worried about you we're in your past. I'm only worried about you right now." He told me.

The file came up and it was a video.
I was scared to watch it.
Daniel grabbed my hands because they were shaking.
"It's ok..." he told me.
I pressed play on the video.

It was a video of Noah and I taken by someone else. I don't know where we were. But I was leaned onto him as we were taking something.
"Yo Sky, here." Someone said off camera.
I was thrown a bag of some pills.

"Nah I'm good, I gotta sober up. I'm going home after this." I said in the video, throwing it back to whoever gave it to me.
"Just do it babe. You can stay over at my place again tonight." Noah told me.

I thought about it and then agreed.
"Alright yea, give me something stronger than." I called out.
Than I was given a powder and a paper.
I couldn't even recognize this person I was watching on the video. I know this is me, but I just can't believe it.

I dumped the powder and Noah gave me what looks like a card. And I took the drug.
Then the video just cut and another video came up.
It was of me crying. I think Noah was taking the video.

"Sky what's wrong?" I heard Noah ask behind the camera. He was sort of chuckling.
"I want more... it wore off... I need more.." I cried. I was sitting up in his bed. I looked absolutely delusional..
"I can't give you more right now. We gotta wait for Brandon to come by later." Noah said.

Then the video cut again to a selfie video of me. Crying again.
"Day one of trying to quit... it's so hard... my body just wants it... my body is just craving it..." I was crying.
"This isn't me... Cam was right... it was all pretend... it's never permanent... it only feels good for a few hours..." I was rambling.
Then that was it. The whole thing ended.

I buried my face in my hands and let out a sigh.
Then I just started crying. I hate that whole part of my past. I wish it never happened.
"Hey it's ok... you overcame it and now you're clean. It's ok..." Daniel rubbed my back.
"I hate that time of my life... I wish it never happened..." I cried.

"Listen..." he said, picking my chin up to make me look at him. "I don't care that that used to be you. All I see right now is a beautiful woman to is about to be my wife in 6 days who I can't wait to marry and start a family with. Yea maybe she has a bit of a rough past, but I don't care... I just want her to know that I'm always here for her... and whatever she's going through, I'll be right by her side. And I never want her to feel like she has to hide anything from me. We're a team now..." he told me.

He wiped the tears off my face and I laughed and kissed him.
"I'm sorry for hiding this from you..." I told him.
"It's fine... I understand why you wanted to... but I just want you to know that you don't need to..." he told me.
I nodded my head.

"Just.. don't do it ever again..." He chuckled.
"I promise..." I told him.
He smiled and kissed me again.
"Now... are you ready for our wedding?" He smiled.
I smiled too.
"I can't wait to say I do..." I smiled.

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