FAIRYTALE - Kaz Brekker

𝐗𝐈𝐗

Chapter 19: bad day.

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Zaria grew up wearing gold jewelry and expensive silk or any type of fabric, she grew up in luxury and she loved that.

the crystals coming from Ravka, Fjerda, and everywhere around the world in her raven hair, around her wrists and neck, on her ears, and every spot you could ever think of.

Rings that were mostly found twirling between her fingers in a habit, she wore 8 rings actually, pretty weird right? 4 on each hand and they were all very thin but what she loved about them was the way girls would stare at her hand whenever she's doing a trick.

Making the corner of her lips twitch, her nails were always painted black with navy blue and dark red lines, but she loved money and luxury.

she even convinced a man to buy her the most expensive jewelry in the whole Ravka probably, and he did it, lost his money. And Zaria did this because the man broke plenty of girls' hearts and is the reason why they cried themselves to sleep.

But Zaria wasn't letting him do anything else, he will not win because losing was never her last name, and she never lost shit.

So she had to teach him a lesson, play with his money as he played with girls, calling him a pedo in front of everyone and sending him to jail.

Showing him that women, can do things that they can't even get their hands on in the blink of an eye, they are capable of doing every single thing.

But she hated men that make themselves superior and better than everyone, those are the men she despised. sure, they can also cry tears because everyone suffers in their lives, the men who are just trying to mind their business, try to survive this world, get over their fears, need someone by their sides.

The true men, the respectful ones, the ones who are rare.

But the ones who say that men crying is weak, that women are meant to be stuck in a kitchen, cooking for their lazy asses, Zaria would do anything to destroy those assholes, ruin their lives, gladly.

And she would everything to have this money, to have her luxury mask back and not the bloody and murderous one, it feels like Ketterdam has changed her so much, the smoky air filling her lungs and sending a wave of rage and fear in her body.

she felt cold, so cold, and it was scary since she's usually warm. But she had to stay strong, stay in this miserable city for a while before going back home, there is not one day where fear and rage aren't rushing into her blood ever since she stepped foot in this cursed country.

The capital especially. It's like the air is forcing her to remember that day, giving her nightmares, her body temperature dropping and she's cold even if the fire coming from the chimney is all over the slat.

But she was a shivering mess, hiding her hands in her pocket she tried to forget the horrifying images in her mind currently, it was her father's death anniversary and she just wanted to go back home and crawl like a ball and scratch her wrists until blood is coming out.

She could still feel the salty tears in her mouth and metal digging into her wrists, she could still see the head landing in front of her staring back emptily, not even a single hint of light in his eyes.

"hey Inej.. uhm, I'll be out for a while please just...I don't feel so good and tell me if I missed something important." before the Suli girl could ask her if she was alright, Zaria walked out of the door and Jesper turned to look towards the door

She had to stop. She had to. Bad things would happen if she didn’t.

But she can’t. She can’t stop thinking about it.

No matter how hard she tried flashbacks appear behind her closed eyelids, flashing in vivid detail, so real she had to feel the ground she was suddenly sitting on to make sure she wasn’t back there.

Back in that moment in time. Back where her father was executed in front of her eyes.

She took deep breaths, and tried to stabilize her hands but every time she looked at them she saw the blood.

And just like that she was back.

Back in that forest. Back in the time when his death happened and the world crushed her.

Tears came, frustrated tears or tears of the trauma she didn’t know. But either way, she didn’t let them fall.

She took another deep breath and another and then one more. She counted in her head, big block numbers floating around her head, seeming to break through or around the flashbacks happening in her head.

By 20, only the most gruesome moments were left in shattered pieces, like glass, sharp and deadly if she so much as touched them

By 45, all memories were gone.

She took one fine deep breath, for good measure, before she shakily got off the ground.

She shook off her shock and waved her hands around, trying to stop them from shaking

One more deep breath and she was out the door. Walking down the streets to have a drink and clear her mind, Kaz kept an eye on her, she was quiet, way too quiet and it terrified him. He watched as she stared into nothing but complete emptiness.

His eyes followed as she walked towards the door, hands trembling like a leaf as she grabbed the doorknob, he wanted to follow her but couldn't move an inch.

Jesper noticed, "what day is today?" He asked Nina who looked over at him in confusion, "uh the 18th, why?" His heart dropped to his stomach and his eyes slightly widened going to the door his best friend just went out from.

"Oh saints." Worry washed over his whole body in wave and he started begging to whoever was listening that Zaria wouldn't be mad at him.

She would never.

She actually rather shoot herself than be mad at Jesper, or any of the crows (except Kaz who can be an asshole)