14. Find a Way

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Spencer James

"I figured you were down here..." Olivia stood in the entrance of the Baker kitchen. It was three in the morning and Spencer found himself in the kitchen after experiencing yet another nightmare. "Do you want to talk about it?" she inquired as she slowly approached him.

"I ain't have a nightmare in weeks Liv..." Spencer sighed in frustration. "I don't understand why it's happenin' again?" he asked as he set his journal on the kitchen counter.

"Perhaps it could be because you are unpacking a lot of your trauma in therapy" Olivia began. "You're having to truly face past events...even the most recent of you being shot. The inner work has just begun babe" she continued as he listened.

"I hear you...but the shit is hard as fuck" Spencer told her. 

"I know this is having an effect on you mentally..." Olivia began as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "But by you confronting these issues at hand it will lead you toward a better life for yourself.  I genuinely believe the alternative would have been so much harder for you had you not considered therapy. Just be as gentle as you can with yourself throughout the process. Voice how you're feeling to your therapist...or to any one of us for that matter. You're not in this alone" she affirmed.

"You know...ya words mean a lot more than you may realize" Spencer gave a half smile as his eyes locked with hers. "I could always count on you to uplift my spirit. Thank you baby" he pecked her lips and she smiled.

"Anytime" she wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging him tightly. "Let's get back upstairs...we've got a long day ahead" she mentioned and he agreed.

"You go on and get a head start" Spencer told her. "I'll be there shortly" he said as she removed her arms from his torso.

"Okay" Olivia rubbed her growing belly as she exited the kitchen.

Spencer glanced at the notebook he left on the counter. "Don't consume none of this shit. Leave it all in here..." he told himself as he retrieved his pen and continued to jot down his thoughts regarding his nightmare.

Spencer let out a sigh of relief as he finished his final thoughts, closing his journal for the night. He grabbed water bottles for him and Olivia before he turned off the lights and exited the kitchen. He took his time going up the stairs as his leg still slightly bothered him. 

"Baby you checked on the kids?" Spencer inquired as he entered their bedroom, closing the door behind him.

"Yes and both were sleeping peacefully" Olivia watched as he placed their water bottles on the dresser. "Pretty soon we'll be checking on three little kiddos" she said as he entered the bed.

"That shit is crazy" Spencer laughed. "We just got adjusted to the two little ones. The third is going to be a real challenge" he said and she agreed with him.

"And you want to have more" Olivia chuckled.

"I do but I could wait a few more years" Spencer watched as she snuggled against him. "How does that sound?" he draped an arm around her.

"I'm honestly okay with just the two that you and I have together. At some point in the future, I wouldn't be against having one more" Olivia told him. "But you're not getting five kids out of me, that's pushing it. You'd have to get someone else to do it" she laughed. 

"Whatever Liv" Spencer sucked his teeth. "I guess you don't love me like you say you do" he let out a dramatic sigh and Olivia playfully rolled her eyes.

"I truly admire your consistency with being annoying" Olivia told him.

"Watch it Baker" he warned and she laughed. The both of them continued to engage in conversation before falling asleep for the remainder of the night.

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