I will always, choose you

160| sixteen years, for nothing

(december)

Natasha awoke with a groan. She turned over in her bed, bumping into something beside her, normally Maria wasn't much of a cuddler in the night but Natasha thought nothing of it, Natasha wrapped her arms around Maria and gave her a kiss to the top of her head.

Natasha had never felt love for anyone as much as she has for Maria, in a romantic way of course, she just felt so connected with the woman, like they were meant to be, soulmates some would say, Natasha obviously agreed.

Then there was Y/n who she genuinely loved for than anyone else on this earth, she really couldn't have any person replacing Y/n as she was just her little girl and she wanted to do everything she could in life to protect her from all things bad in the cruel world that they are living in right now.

"Nat?" Maria groaned turning over into her back and lifting her hand up to rub her eye, Natasha smiled and leaned down kissing Maria's forehead again, Maria looked up at the other woman and smiled, placing a hand on her cheek and bringing her face down for a nice soft kiss.

"Happy birthday my love" Maria spoke pressing another kiss against Natasha's lips, Natasha had totally forgotten about her birthday, she chuckled and thanked her wife and leant down, placing her head on her chest, Maria quickly wrapped her arms around Natasha and gave her a arm a comforting rub.

"Better go and wake up the monster" Natasha joked and pushed herself up from the mattress and sitting up on bed, she groaned and stretched out her arms, rubbing her eyes, she looked behind her and Maria was already gone, out of the bed, which was a little strange.

The redhead shrugged it off and stood up, feeling a dizzy feeling as she did, she groped onto the wall and steadied herself before walking out her bedroom and going to her daughters, she was finally 16 years old, Natasha seriously was unsure how time moved so fast, from being so little to 16.

Natasha pushed open Y/n's door, giving it a little knock and entering the room, she saw the outline of her daughters body laying in her bed, looking all cute, curled up in a ball, Natasha smiled and made her way over to the bed, placing her arm out.

"Happy birthday baby, you're 16" Natasha spoke happily sitting on the bed beside her daughters figure, she shook her lightly, furrowing her eyebrows as Y/n didn't move, she very slowly took the duvet away from the girls body, yet all Natasha found was an empty bed, stuffed with pillows.

Natasha stood up in a panic and turned around, she rushed into Y/n's bathroom, barging in and seeing if she was in there, she clearly wasn't as it was dark and empty, Natasha panicked more, there was no way Y/n was awake, it was 6 in the morning.

The woman rushed out of Y/n's bedroom, yet as soon as she stepped foot out of the girls bedroom, everything changed.

red room (april 2001)

"You've seen everything now" Dreykov chuckled, Natasha gasped taking a step back and breathing heavily, in a panic she ripped whatever wires were on her head off, Natasha was now her 22 year old self again, stuck in the red room.

"That could've been your life Natalia, too bad you still need your graduation" Dreykov grinned, Natasha's eyes filled with tears and she was soon smacked across the face, showing emotions is weak.

"But shes my daughter" Natasha cried, Dreykov laughed out loud and shook his head taking a seat on his chair by his desk.

"No, you don't have daughter. Nor do you have a stupid wife or friends, that's the life you wish to have, not the life you will get" Dreykov laughed banging his fist against the table.

Natasha crashed down onto her knees, there was no way she just watched 16 years of her life in her mind, all controlled by Dreykov, it all felt so real, her heart ached and she felt as though her life had fallen apart.

"My baby, my baby" Natasha mumbled over and over again, Dreykov rolled his eyes and sighed watching as the redhead now looked more pathetic than she ever has.

"Natalia quit it, those sixteen years weren't for you to cry over" Dreykov sighed.

"I was watching that for 16 years?" Natasha asked confused, how was she still 22 if she had done.

"No, you didn't stupid girl! It's only been 160 days, i don't have 16 years of free time you know, it all started on April 24th and now it's finished, September 30th. You don't have a life outside being an assassin!" Dreykov explained.

"Please let me go, let me live the life i want to live" Natasha sobbed, all she could picture in her head was her little girl running around that flower field, she needed her back with her.

"You don't have a life, you have no place in this world" Dreykov spat.

"Now, off to Madame B. You have a graduation ceremony to attended" Dreykov said picking Natasha's arm up and dragging her out the room, Natasha's screams echoed the corridors, yet all widows kept on training, including Yelena.

"Is this why everything kept going black? Because you've been controlling it the whole time?!" Natasha asked finally connecting the dots together.

"Of course it was, i was running out of time, now get in there" Dreykov shouted before pushing Natasha into the room, face down against the floor.

"Should've landed that, get up to your feet Natalia" Madame B ordered, Natasha stood up on shaky legs and nodded her head with tears about to fall from her eyes.

"Off you go, we don't have all day" Madame B instructed, Natasha complied and followed everything she was told before she was getting wheeled into the room.

The room.

The room that took away her freedom

Her choices

That took away her daughter.

The room that took her life away.

//

AND JUST LIKE THAT THE BOOK IS FINISHED!!

Super big thank you to everyone who has been reading this book and voted and commented, everything.

I know i'm only a small little account on wattpad, but i love every single one of yous who has helped me with this book, i'm currently writing this with 96.1K reads which is insane and 6.48K Votes which is amazing, i'm so thankful.

Writing this now, i don't have a book that i can say is coming out, i have many, many in my drafts as gayfortasha will know about but i just need to do a bit more in some before i start publishing one, information about my new book will probably be on my announcements such as when it comes out and what updates are gonna be like.

I cant believe how fast this book has gone, started in April and i knew i was doing 160 chapters and now it's September, i remember thinking how far away September was.

If anyone has any questions at all about the book or anything, i'd be more than happy to answer them for you.

I have noticed a lot of comments regarding Y/n's behaviour and people saying Autism, now i didn't want to label Y/n as autistic as i didn't want to be rude or offended anyone so i just left it :)

Thank you for taking the time to read and support my book, see you in my next book! ❤️