In Too Deep

Kabanata 41

Kabanata 41
#friends

Hideo

PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That's what I got from the traumatic events that happened in the past.

Retrograde Amnesia. The result of the test and further assessments revealed that this is from a post traumatic experiences and head injury. But the real cause of my head injury is still vague, it's unknown.

It could be concussion?Contusion? Fall? Vehicular accident? What else could it be? Damn it! I don't know anymore.

Sinong mag aakala na ang isang Hideo Marqueza ay may ganitong kondisyon? Tang ina! Hindi ko matanggap.

"Here's your med,señorito." Max put the medicine on top of the center table.

We're here in the ancestral house. Nasa labas lang naman si Helios,may kausap siya kanina sa phone, business partners.

Pero ngayon ay nagbabantay na siya ng mga trabahador. Marahil ay naisip niyang kailangan ko ang presence niya,na kailangan ko ng tulong niya.

Dumapo ang tingin ko sa gamot na kailangan kong inumin. It's antidepressants. Need ko ba talaga iyon? Pwede bang si Selena na lang ang maging antidepressant ko?

"What do you know about amnesia?" I asked him.

Nagsearch na ako about sa kondisyon ko. Naiintindihan ko naman iyon. Gusto ko lang mangolekta ng opinyon kay Max. Matalino rin kasi ang isang 'to at napapahanga niya ako sa kanyang pananalita. His words were full of riddles,you know.

"Amnesia?" He said like he was surprised. " I don't have enough knowledge about it, señorito. But I think brain trauma,brain disease,brain injuries,brain infections and others like radiation and alcohol use disorder can lead to amnesia. And the effects or symptoms varied among individuals. It could be temporary, permanent, progressive or slowly getting worse."

Tumango ako at hinintay pa siyang magsalita. Mukhang nahinuha naman niya iyong tingin ko kaya muli niyang ibinuka ang bibig.

"There are various types of amnesia, señorito." He informed me. "Retrograde. Anterograde. Post-traumatic. Transient-global. Infatile. And dissociative. Which type would you want me to discuss in brief?"

"The first one."

"Retrograde. Okay."

Max discussed retrograde amnesia in brief. And I'm sorry to say this but his explanation is easier to understand.

Hindi ko sinasabing hindi marunong mag explain iyong mga doctor. It's just that...Max know what words to use in order for me to visualize it. He used analogies. Matalino naman akong tao pero kung hindi ko madigest ang mga info, hindi ko talaga maiintindihan kahit gaano kaganda ang explanation.

"Now, let's use this book to further explain why you can't remember some of your past." He took a magazine under the center table.

Sa magazine na ako nakatitig ngayon, hinihintay ang sasabihin ni Max.

"Let's say, this magazine were full of memories--your memories five years ago." He flipped the pages. "There are many pages,right? From the cover page up to the end cover, it's full of imprinted words and pictures. Or let's say memories."

Tumango ako kahit diko sure kung tinatanong niya talaga ako or kung need ko bang sumang ayon sa sinasabi niya.

"The head injury, brain traumatic injury and traumatic events cause you a retrograde amnesia, this condition prevented you to recall some of your pasts. And when I say some,it means you still can remember the others." He pointed the magazine. "In this magazine, there are pages of vague and unclear words or pictures but you can still see it. There are also missing part in a specific page like it's a fill in the blank type of examination. And the worse thing, there are blank pages. As in no words or pictures imprinted which you can't retrieve. It was deleted permanently."