In Too Deep

Kabanata 53

Kabanata 53
#spaces

Hideo

So, what's the main purpose of the Acquaintance party?

To gather students in solidarity?

To establish a bond between students of various year levels?

To properly welcome the young dreamers of the college?

To strengthen the camaraderie among old and new students?

Or to make me realize the real status of my relationship with Selena?

Acquaintance na lang ba ang relasyon namin ni Selena? Hindi na ba talaga kami mag asawa?

Am I the real culprit behind our disconnection?

No! I'm not!

And she's not either.

Pareho lang kaming biktima ng sitwasyon.

Magkaiba lang kami ng paraan kung paano uunawain at tatanggapin ang resulta ng mga kaganapang hindi namin hahangaring dumating.

Sana lang ay manaig ang pagmamahal ni Selena sa akin. Sana ay gawin niyang dahilan ang tunay na nararamdaman para kausapin niya ako at para mapakinggan ang paliwanag ko.

Tumitig ako sa katawan ko mula sa human size mirror na nandito sa loob ng walk-in closet. I traced the fresh and newly added tattoo on my body.

Pinalagyan ko ng tattoo iyong kaliwa kong dibdib,kung nasaan ang puso kong masakit. Kulang pa iyong ginawa kong pagwawala sa artroom kanina at ito na lamang ang alam kong paraan upang maibsan ang kirot dito.

If I won't do it, I will probably hurt myself. And Helios doesn't want that to happen,kaya siya mismo ang nagdala ng mahusay na tattoo artist sa hacienda.

Bahagya akong napangiwi sa hapdi ng balat ko. Yeah! It hurts. The process of tattooing is pleasurably painful. Tattoos are deep,it penetrates the skin.

Masakit parin ang buo kong pagkatao. Masakit isipin na ayaw na sa akin ng babaing mahal ko. And the pain is deeper,it penetrates more than the skin. It pierces the flesh of the body and soul. Mind and spirit.

Well,at least,this tattoo lessens the acidic feeling inside of me. Though,not the real pain.

I kissed away the thoughts and got dressed. Public gatherings give me annoyance including school events. I am not really into a crowded place.The life in the city disturbs the inner peace I have.

Nature is really a home for me-- like hacienda Marqueza. And I hope one day,the horrors and tragedies behind that magnificent place will be concealed by a chivalric romance with an emphasis on love and manners.

Hah!What a fantasy!

"Where are you going?"Helios' voice echoed in the living room.

He's reading a book while Hanabi's busy with something. Madalas tumambay si Helios sa study room kapag ganitong oras na habang si Hanabi naman ay palaging nagkukulong sa kwarto.Saka lang lalabas kung may gusto siyang gawin na hindi niya magawa sa loob ng silid.