𝒮ℴ𝓊𝓁𝓂𝒶𝓉ℯ𝓈 | 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓊𝓃ℊ |

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉ℯ𝓇 XXXIII

It had been unexpectedly quiet between the two, as they entered the small apartment. Jisung knew Minho just needed space to sort out those loose emotions that scattered across his mind. "I'm gonna take a shower Hannie" he spoke in a low, almost broken voice, but all the while with a small smile to keep his boyfriend from worrying. Before Jisung could even say something, he was gone into the bathroom. 

To lift up the mood, he decided to quickly bake a cheesecake, a recipe he had learnt from Minho himself. Within the next hour, a beautifully made cheesecake was sitting in the oven, and Minho had finished his shower. Walking out the room, the smell of it made its way to the elder's senses, "Is that cheesecake I smell?", he asked as Jisung skipped over to his boyfriend, clasping his arms around his torso. "Yep! It's the recipe you taught me" Minho smiled, bopping the younger's nose. 

It was a smile that Jisung could see through with a single glance. It was a smile where it was only the lips that curved up, yet eyes stayed frowning. His gaze fell onto those veiny arms, but that wasn't what caused him to let out a silent gasp, rather, the scars. There were a few old faded ones, but also many newer ones that were bright red. Gently, he brushed his fingers over them, looking up at Minho glancing down at him. 

"Hyung.." he whispered, hoping to get an actual explanation this time. As much as he didn't want to let the younger know, there was no point in hiding it. The trust the two had built up was enough, even for the everlasting fear of being left Minho had to put up with. The trust that let Minho know he could let Jisung in on the world inside his head that demons had called their home. 

He sat the younger down on the couch, sitting beside him with intertwined hands. "Gaining the trust of my father meant I'd have to oblige every request given, even when told to kill", looking down at his scars, "these represent every innocent life I took." Jisung had tears in his eyes at this point, as he gently caressed those scared arms. "I couldn't handle the guilt, and this was the only way that helped me feel remotely better". 

"Did you want to kill them?", Jisung suddenly asked, to which Minho shook his head. "Did you have a choice?", and he shook his head once again. "Of course you'd feel guilty, but at times like that just remind yourself, you didn't have a choice, and letting your guilt out by bringing yourself pain won't change what happened my love". He lifted his right arm, leaving gentle kisses over each scar. 

"These are part of you now, and looking at them might bring you painful memories, but don't let them bring you down. Use them as a weapon to show how strong you were to have gone through things other's couldn't even come close to imagining, but promise me", he held out his pinky, "promise you won't ever do it again, and if it gets to much to bear, come to me, and let me be what you pour your pain onto, not these beautiful arms". 

It's the way his eyes remained full of love, his voice non-judgmental, his smile comforting, his touch ever so tranquilizing, all that made Minho understand that he did in fact have a choice, and it was Han Jisung. Why feel guilty, when the reason behind it all was the beautiful boy in front of him? Because when it comes to Han Jisung, he's even willing to sacrifice his own life. He interlocked his pinky within the smaller one, and with a genuine smile, he breathed out a small yet certain, "I promise".

Changbin stormed into the large top floor apartment, stomping up the stairs with Felix close behind. "Binnie! Can you just-" "Felix!", startled by the sudden yell, he halted in his steps. "Listen, right now I just wanna be alone, cause you kept such a big thing from me too. I don't care whoever you promised, but you should have told me!". Felix flinched with every word spoken, and soon enough anger took over for him as well. 

See, there were two things Felix disliked most, being yelled at even if he did something, and being yelled at especially when it wasn't his fault, right now Changbin, his boyfriend who's never raised his voice like this before, was doing so, and it upset him even more since he was only trying to help. It felt as if a single word would cause a breakdown, so he simply ran out the house with tears spilling down his freckled cheeks, and the regret Changbin felt in that second simply couldn't be described in words. Now, there were two things Changbin disliked most, seeing Felix cry, and especially seeing Felix cry because of him. Without wasting another second, he ran right after him, looked all throughout the building, out in front of the building, but it was too late.