The red satin | 18+ |book 1 of red| complete ✔️

Ellie

when Lisa left I found myself in bed with aziz before he ended up having to go to work. I didn't like him going to work because I was afraid that he might find someone else even though he said that finding me was magical. I just found it very unsettling that he was still working with a bunch of unstable women. So who wanted to wish me death! all though He remain faithful, or at least he told me he was faithful. I just had it in my head that he had someone else. If he made love to me, he probably made love to someone else, but I wasn't trying to go down that road! I realize when we made love that day after Lisa left. I ended up realizing that he only had it for me. The love that was. I wanted to have him kiss me all over the place. As well as make love to me!

"fuck me, make love to me!"I said, as he was circling my womanhood with the security wand. How he got that out of the work he did it was beyond me. I guess that's just a testament of his faithfulness. when realized that I was getting bigger pregnancy wise. He ended up only kissing my belly and fingering me. At least, using the security wand to pleasure me For he did not want to hurt the baby in anyway by being on top of me, thrusting into me!

"i love you and aziza," he said kissing my neck!

"aziz isnt born yet!" i said on the vurge of tears! He heard my voice crackling, he was concerned!

"sweetie whats wrong," he asked.

" are you have relations with any one?!" I asked him my voice crackling with emotional pain!

"why would you think that!" he said. " your my everything before you i was forever single"

"make love to me the way you did!" i said!

This wasn't what I had in mind when I meant honeymoon. Crying in an airport hotel when I was supposed to be elated to be with my lover. For the rest of my life. Part of me wanted to go and date someone else! but i could not! When I realize those thoughts were going through my head i felt bad! but i loved him so much! he was so gentle and kind! i did not want to betray him over a hunch!

i just got my phone the yeah, he was at work. I couldn't help but think that he was having affairs with someone else so I ended up going to a dating app. I don't know what the app is called but it was something I would soon regret. As I was making the account I tried to make myself look halfway decent. It's kind of hard to find make up when you're already out of prison. and trying to chase your dream! That was when I realized I was talking to someone else completely. it was a guy from the area, he samed nice! But as soon as aziz would come back From work, I would hide my phone exactly where I would keep it in case we had a big fight!

when ended up being with the guy who worked at the airport! he was very nice but he only one by lezlie! so I asked him his name. And he said exactly leslie Which was an odd name for a guy, but that was his name. He was very interested in me. He wanted to see me with makeup on, but I couldn't hide that from Anyone. They're being said I was starting to feel guilty about just talking to him! i wanted to meet him. for he was my back up guy!

that was when my husband came back and found me talking to leslie! it wasn't until I heard the thought of the door closing that I ended up realizing that he was home. And I tried to talk to him. But he was sobbing. Saying that he felt like he was nothing at all!

I had to tell him that I had to have friends at some point that we're not just female. Or that were juggalo. I had to be with other people who were outside of my social circle at the time to make me feel better. That was when he ended up walking away for the first time. He did not do anything except write me letters that was the last time I ever heard from him for a while!

At that time I ended up talking to Leslie, more often than not! and set up a time to meet him! i was going to do this! this was just another bad relationship in dguise! i thought!