Love Bound (Student/Teacher) ✔️

Chapter 4

I woke up the next day on the wooden floor of the basement feeling numb. Despite the pain that was inflicted on me last night, it felt like the usual dose of sentiment, a dull one.

I forced myself up and stumbled across the hall way towards my room. After cleaning the wounds on my right arm, all I could see from the reflection of the bathroom mirror was a broken girl, an injured arm and a bruised stomach.

I've grown so accustomed to the feeling of pain, even my green eyes adopted the void that resonated within me.

I pulled my brown hair back in a ponytail, put on a black tshirt and denim jeans, gathered my books and skateboard and slowly, but discretely left the house.

My mother and dad, or so I called him, were definitely passed out in the living room after a drunken evening, their usual Friday's.

Our neighbourhood was quiet, no one bothered to ask about anyone given that people residing in the area were mainly retired or not competent for work due to their criminal records. It wasn't as safe as it appeared that's for sure, but then again, anywhere is safer than home.

I held my book tight and glided on my skateboard towards our public library. The sun was setting, the beauty of nature was overwhelming, it made me think of a higher power, a power beyond existence and that is why I grasped onto hope and forgot about the cynicism of life, the cynical books I have engrossed myself with, because hope, hope was the only companion I had in this world, and breathing was the result of that.

After 15 minutes, I walked into the library and greeted the sweet librarian. Mrs Rein reminded me that there were better women and loving mothers out there. I smiled genuinely because people like her deserved that acknowledgment.

I sat in the corner and muted the sound of kids that were listening to the story of Cinderella being told by the bubbly library assistant, Melissa. She was also nice, but a handful and too cheery for my liking.

I opened the book and tried to forget about the pain I was feeling in the pit of my stomach. The first quote of the book of cynics I read 'What is a Cynic? A man that knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing.' Smiling sadly, knowing that I always had a price to pay, and never having an opportunity to understand the value of something. I skipped to the next quote 'I think I think too much.'

"What an understatement" I laughed, feeling comfort knowing that a book can describe me.

"Aster?"

My heart rate increased gradually. His voice, so distinct yet ideal in so many ways.

Before I turned around, Mr. Vervain moved a chair and sat right in front of me.

Instead of questioning his presence, my mind settled for a "Hello"

I adjusted myself on the chair and closed the book, staring directly into his beautiful hazel eyes. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, his face was neutral, but it remained in front of me for some odd reason.

"Hi there" I could tell he was expecting a staggered response, but I kept my senses in control. His eyes averted to the book and then back to my face. I could tell that he was tired, and out of place in this library. His hair wasn't combed like it was in class, it was long but it didn't surpass his ear. Beautiful.

"Beautiful?' He said, amused by my sudden outburst. His mouth twitched but it didn't go unnoticed.

"Did I say that out loud...? Oops" Not really affected by voicing it out loud, I tend to do that. My honesty can be too hard to restrain.

He shifted uncomfortably on the chair, which made me question his intake of compliments.

"Is there a problem?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows. "Aren't you used to compliments? I would think you are." My heart increased a little, the way he was looking, I couldn't quite describe it.

He shook his head, never breaking his gaze, "No, not used to heartfelt ones" His voice was deep, the tension returning like a candle that doesn't blow out.

For a minute, we took each other in. The emotions were breaking down the numbness that had been embedded in me for so long.

It was my turn to shift uncomfortably, "What are you doing here Mr. Vervain, and why are you talking to me?" I said annoyed by this foreign feeling.

He smiled, genuinely, and looked towards the kids that were scattered on the floor listening to the story attentively. "This is the second week I bring my daughter to listen to Fairy Tale stories." He turned around to look at me, his smile subsiding, "And I noticed you were sitting here, so I thought I would converse with you until it's over."

Daughter? I don't know why I had a bad feeling in the tip of my stomach, this ache from this new found knowledge, but it was a different kind of pain. "And is this meaningful conversation satisfying your spare time?" I smiled, meaninglessly.

"It is indeed." He said, with conviction. He looked at me as if challenging me to say otherwise.

"I see, glad to be at your service" I said gathering my skateboard, I held my book "Well I need to get going, it's getting late." Agitated by his meek responses I stood up ready to leave.

"Aster." The butterflies were hard to control. I turned around and stared, weary of his height. Perhaps he was 180cm long, but perfect for a man. "Look at me." He demanded. Getting frustrated a little.

I refused to do that, or I would be succumbing to him. I didn't want to do that, not to him or anyone in this lifetime. "Mr. Vervain, I'm your student, what words do you have to offer me but explain a lesson or 'do your homework' for that matter."

I tightened my hand on the book, knowing his next words weren't going to be pleasant because of my attitude. I realized Mr. Vervain isn't lenient with sarcasm.

"I just wanted to ask you if you were ok, because the other night I realized..." He hesitated, before saying anything. I was surprised that he didn't note my sarcastic remark, however, what he intended to say was obvious.

"It's none of your business." I said sternly, looking passed the firmness in his eyes. I knew my eyes were deadly, but he crossed the line, I could feel my walls building themselves back together.

"Fine." His voice was cold, and I knew I pushed him away. Good, he has a daughter, he has a life, he doesn't need any negative vibes surrounding him, he doesn't need me, he's just acting like a person that has a sense of humanity.

He brushed passed me as I watched him go.
"Haley come on baby lets go, the story is over," I looked at her innocent face, her eager smile and the affection in her blue eyes. I wondered how beautiful her mum was and felt an unusual pang in my heart.

My heart constricted, without looking back, I walked away, from a beautiful daughter, a caring father, and a helping hand. That is when I realised I could never love, because love is against the cynicism instilled in my heart, being loved would cost someone the price of fixing me and in turn, they would grow tired of realising my value.

That is, if I have any of that left at all.