Love Bound (Student/Teacher) ✔️

Chapter 57

I lay down In bed, Ben's word's had convoluted  my mind. I was confused and agitated.

All these experiences, everything I had to do to get to where I am now.. all the transformations I've made for myself from within, to shape me into this confident, unique person that I believe to be..

And then in a split second, Michaels comes waltzing back into my life, straight to my heart and into my veins.

Great.

Michael..

only his presence, sets me back, not two steps, two days, two weeks or two months. No.

After two years, his presence had the power to send me back to square one.

I was angry, furious. I huffed and puffed praying he would message me so I could see him and bombard him with questions. Drain him of all the information and knowledge he had deprived me of.

I needed to know who Michael Vervain was.

This unsettling feeling will never come to a halt unless he fits in the pieces to the puzzle that's inside of me.

I will be strong, I will be straightforward and I promised myself, for Ben and for me that I would switch off my feelings.

I am a woman of my word.

No more fragile, sensitive Aster.

Despite the way he reacted, the desire and warmth that erupted from him, so heartwarming. But how could I be sure that he wants all of me this time?

Haley?

Ex wife??

Had he seen anyone in the two years that had passed???

I felt a pang in my heart, the thought of him with another woman made me want to punch the wall.

I was so fucking angry.

And I don't usually curse, not even in my head.

But I'm at my peak.

I'm waiting.

Either to get knocked down, or to get swayed. sigh.. and saved by his arms.

I sighed. Pulling the pillow from under my head and pressing it on my face.

I screamed so loud. But my voice came out muffled, barely audible. Thankfully, Stellas snores were way louder.

And then I heard a ping on my phone. It was 2am.

My heart was racing. I jumped up feeling excitement like a teenager crazy in love.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me.

I face palmed myself before reading the message.

Aster..

"What? That's it?" I furrowed my eyebrows. Confused by this eccentric, but infuriating human being.

Just reading my name gave me goosebumps. I felt warmth spread around me all of a sudden.
I reminded myself, that when I see him.
No. Feelings.

Switch off from now, I mentally affirmed. Train yourself!

What?

-

What's wrong.

-

I smiled bitterly, "You are," I spoke to my phone like a lunatic.

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I don't know anything about you. Michael.

-

I waited. And waited. 5 minutes later I heard the ping. And that ping felt like it came from my heart.

-

Tomorrow night. I made reservations.

You will know me like you know yourself.

-

How could we feel this strongly? How could I feel without knowing you properly

-

Both our replies were now quick. I felt confused and thrilled all at the same time.
Ben's life story felt like a wake up call. And now there's this strain and itch inside of me that could only be removed by one person..

Sigh.

Ping.

-

I understand what you're saying. But why are you complicating things? Why are you making my blood boil for no reason what so ever?

-

What about me?

2 years without a trace from you and all of a sudden you come back and we're back to square one. Really? Does saying 'I love you' come so lightly to you?

-

I felt like crying.. how dare he conjure up these feelings again.. without a promise of security..
The next thing I typed made me think twice.

But I was so angry I didn't care at this point.

-

Is this lust? All we do is feel.
A foundation that is built with just feelings will inevitably crumble

-

Lust?

You are testing my nerves. You know   what Aster. If you believe in every word you just said then you really don't know me.

You don't know me at all.
Reservations cancelled.
Goodnight.

-

I kept reading his last message over and over again. You don't know me at all...

Switch feelings off? What a joke.

I sobbed so hard regretting everything I had said.

Denial  had coursed through my veins.

Thinking of the class I have with him tomorrow, first period, the pain grew even deeper.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I've never cried for anything or anyone with this much soul

I sighed exhausted, dreading what is to follow

I thought I'd leave him hanging after he gave me a stab to the heart.

-
I guess I loved, more deeply than most people would love anyone. To the point of it physically hurting. It literally hurt my heart.
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Who am I kidding? I pressed the send button before dosing off to wonderland.