Love Bound (Student/Teacher) ✔️

Chapter 23

It was Friday. I was laying in bed.

Last night when I entered the house my mother was on the couch swearing at the T.V holding a can of beer. It disgusted me.

I sputtered through the scattered cans, moving them with my feet, and walked straight to my room. I couldn't deal with her right now.

I didn't even have time to think, or acknowledge Mr. Vervains actions. It shifted, it was up and down, but it ended on a good note.

Mr. Vervain had a mean streak, but with me he was just another person with actual feelings.

I crashed that night within minutes. It was good, I slept deeply. I needed it because I was utterly exhausted.

I decided to skip school just in case I was late. I thought about the Romeo and Juliet assignment, it would be best to kill time until the sun sets.

Next week we had to exchange our parts and write the reflection together.

I was in a predicament, should I fabricate it? How am I supposed to strip a part of me and give it to Cecilia? Out of all people, it had to be her.

Sighing, I put on my Metallica T-shirt some trackies and a beanie and headed towards the library.

The breeze engulfed me, I felt like I was flying. Riding the skateboard wasn't just a hobby, it was more than that.

For some reason, I felt like I was part of a crew when I rode it. Like I could relate to every skateboarder out there, mainly the guys that didn't have a care in the world. Those guys that contribute to something in a place as simple as the community. Despite so many setbacks in my life, the fact that I didn't live an ordinary life, this was the only way I could blend in. Be normal.

The door bell echoed throughout the library and I was embraced with the warmth of it. I greeted Mrs Rein, she gave me a smile that warmed me more than I already had been. I made my way to the computer and opened the word document.

I didn't need to research Romeo's lifestyle, it was evident that his job position was insufficient, poorly dressed, and most importantly, his family didn't have the financial stability and hierarchy Juliet had.

I looked at the blank page, contemplating whether I should lie or not. I thought about it, about Cecilia.

Who is she? Who is anyone if they're not who they claim to be. I didn't want to undervalue myself by lying anymore. I'm tired of keeping up a front, hiding myself from people that play a major part in my life. People that have become my priority. That are my priority.

Love doesn't have a number, it can't be bought. It's not as expendable as people cut it out to be.. I know, because I didn't come from a loving family, that had enough money to equate love. I wasn't loved. It was never about love when it came to family, it was about working to keep us going.

My fingers kept racing, typing whatever came to mind. I sat there for an hour until I finished it. I saved it and sent it to my email. In a way, I felt like writing the truth was an outlet. It was a feeling that has been reoccurring for the past week. I was relieved.

The library usually had food supplements. Sandwiches, cupcakes and drinks. I had two sandwiches and a drink. I looked at the kids on the carpet talking to each other waiting for another story to be told.

They were so innocent. At least they had something nice to look forward to.

After I finished I let myself out, enjoying nature and it's peace.

I miss him.

I needed to be strong. For him. He has so much going on, I didn't want to be a burden on him. I needed to show Mr. Vervain that I wasn't just some 17 year old girl that couldn't endure life-based tribulations. I needed to fight.

The sun was on the verge of setting. I wore the ragged old clothes that served me for this night.

It was 4:30pm.

I went down to the basement and sat on the chair. I waited. I shut my mind, numbed my heart and prayed that this torture wouldn't feel painful and long, as it did last time. My right arm healed and my ribs were still bruised, which pained me ever so often.

I don't know how long I sat there, how many tear drops rolled down, all I needed to know now, was that I had to fight this through.

The stair case squeaked, and I heard my mother rambling to my step-father. I saw them come down. I saw his face. His wrinkles. 

His face held so much disdain. So much weakness. She had him wrapped around her finger.

"Well well well, guess who decided to show up early this time Hun" She smiled. Her smile was morbid. Evil was an understatement, she was the Devils prize.

"I guess she learnt her lesson sweetheart" He smiled at her like she was someone so divine.

"I guess so!" She brought her tools; her eyes were focused on the hammer. I wiped my tears away, trying to calm my heart rate. "I like to play with you Aster, Aster Aster. It beats me why that lowlife decided to call you that" She spat out "I only kept it because I knew it would be a reminder of the painful night he scarred me with!"

"Please..." I said. I couldn't hold onto my tears any longer. I didn't want to hear about my rapist father. He disgusted me. She disgusted me.

"Pleaaaaase oh baby stop whining! That ship sailed a long time ago. Don't you ever get over that line? At least I get money out of your existence" She held the hammer and looked at my right knee.

I can't.

Stop.

Anyone.

Help.

She slammed the hammer on my kneecap and I screamed.

"You're crazy!" I clenched my teeth. My mouth began to bleed from the pressure on my lip.

"I know I know. But I enjoy it" She laughed.

I stared at my step-father and he gave me that same look every time. That guilty look. The weakness he felt, he couldn't do anything about.

"Why don't you love me?" Love. This term that I've become more familiar with throughout my days. It's not foreign. I refuse to return to that mindset.

My mother looked at me bewildered, like I was some entity from another dimension.

"And you call me crazy? Why would I love my bastard child? You've caused me so much pain" I looked at her. Listened to her words like she was deluded. What have I ever done to her to be treated like trash?

She slammed my knee again and I cried out. It was throbbing. I couldn't take it anymore. It was excruciating to the point of no return. I was losing consciousness.

"You don't know shit about me! I am capable of love! But you will never be the reason" She slapped me. Hard.

And the last thought that played on my mind was the fact that maybe Mr. Vervain couldn't save me.

Maybe I was passed the point of no return.