Meet the Howlters

Yer A Wizard, Howlter

YEAR: 2032

[Dan's POV]

"Dad! Bear! Wake up!"
"What did we say yesterday?" I mumbled.
"Sorry," they laughed. They sat at the end of our bed and waited for us to wake up.
"Dan, someone's at the door," Phil whispered.
"Dil-"
"Do not make your daughter answer to door!"
"Fine," I huffed. I swung my legs out of bed and answered the door. "Can I help you?"
"Hi Danny,"
"What do you want Cat?" I groaned.
"I brought you guys some breakfast," she motioned a house keeper to bring in the cart of food.
"Cat, you didn't have to do this,"
"But I wanted to. Any who, I hope I see you guys today. Enjoy," she waved goodbye.
"Who is it Dan?" Phil called.
"It was Cat." I brought the food cart into the room. "She brought us breakfast." I handed Phil a plate of waffles along with a syrup packet and some butter.
"Thanks bear," he smiled.
"Bear what did the lady bring for us?"
"I don't know, just take whatever you want I guess,"
"I want waffles and bacon," Winston cheered.
"Take what you guys want," I smiled.
"So when are we going?"

***

"Dad come on," Delilah tugged on Phil's arm.
"Wait for your brother and bear,"
"Dad!" she whined.
"We're here," I said. "What do you guys wanna-"
"Harry Potter!" They exclaimed.
"Okay," Phil and I laughed. "Come on then,"
"Dan!" a familiar girl yelled.
"Hi Cat," I sighed. "Where's your husband and kids?"
"They just went on that," she pointed to Hogwarts.
"Can we go!" The kids asked.
"Yeah, come on," Phil said as he took their hands. "I'll be right back," he said.
"So how have you been Dan?" Cat asked as we sat on a bench.
"I've been good. You?"
"I could be better,"
"Is everything okay?"
"Well, it's just that, we're always moving and our boys always complain how they can't keep their friends, and...yeah..."
"What are their names?"
"How do you not know them?" she gasped.
"Cat, you kinda disappeared from the internet years ago,"
"Oh yeah...well, the older one is James and the younger one is Michael,"
"I see what you did there," I laughed. "How old are they?"
"James is seven and Mike is two,"
"Cat...please don't be offended when I say this, but, you're 43...aren't you a little old to have a two year old?"
"Mike is adopted..."
"What about James?"
"James was our little miracle," she smiled. "The doctor said I was infertile but eight years ago, I got pregnant with my beautiful boy. Then I wanted another baby, and I clearly wasn't gonna be able to have one, so, we adopted,"
"Does he know?"
"Of course...do your kids know they were adopted?"
"My kids weren't adopted," I mumbled.
"Wait, what?"
"Phil and I got a surrogate,"
"Wait, so one of them is yours and one of them is Phil's?"
"Well, I guess so,"
"Mom!" One of her boys yelled; I'm assuming it's James.
"Yeah?"
"It was so cool! Dad let me go on alone!"
"Now why would he do that?" She scowled.
"I kinda had to hold Mike,"
"You could have left him with me!"
"Calm down Cat," I said.
"Catherine, who's this?"
"An old friend," she said. "Dan, Rob. Rob, Dan,"
"Wait, Dan? Dan Howell?"
"No," I said.
"Who is this Catherine?"
"Dan, stop being a dick,"
"I'm Dan Howlter," I shook his hand.
"Why'd you change your last name, Howlter?"
"Got married and didn't feel like hyphenating. Writing out
Howell-Lester is a lot of work," I joked.
"So where's your wife?" he asked.
"I don't have a wife,"
"What do you mean?"
"Rob, he's gay,"
"Bi Cat...I'm bi,"
"Whatever helps you sleep at night," she chuckled.
"Cat, that's not funny. They're two totally different things and neither of them are fun to joke about,"
"I'm sorry Dan..."
"You know how I feel about stuff like this,"
"Yeah, I know...you kinda led me on in 2012," she narrowed her eyes.
"I did not lead you on! You know I was with Phil!"
"No, you said you two were on a break," she spat.
"Cat, now really isn't the place to do this," I said.
"You act like I care, Howell,"
"Shut your mouth, bitch,"
"Dan, are you okay?" Phil said as he approached us with the kids.
"Yeah...I'm fine,"
"Here," he handed me an ice cream cone, "you kept complaining about the heat, thought this would help,"
"Thanks lion," I whispered. "Um," I cleared my throat, "Phil, this is Rob, and Cat's kids, James and Michael,"
"Nice to meet you," Phil shook Rob's hand. "How rude of me, these are our kids, Delilah and Winston, but we call them Dil and Winnie," he smiled.
"Hi," he waved. "So how long have you guys been married?"
"Oh god," Phil laughed. "Was it 2015?"
"Wait, wait...you've been married for 17 years?" Cat exclaimed. "How did I not know about this?"
"We're really good at keeping secrets,"
"I thought you'd at least tell me!"
"Cat," I intruded, "the only people who knew were Louise, our parents, Duncan, and Mimei,"
"Oh my god, that's not fair!"
"Cat, like I said, now's not the time to be having this kind of discussion. Our kids wanna have fun, now come on, drop it and-"
"You're adopted," she said to Winston and Delilah.
They looked to her, then us, and started to cry, "what..."