The Love We Never Lost (Blake Griffin)

30

Azaana's POV:

Roman hit Blake so hard he fell over. But Blake got up so quick and hit Roman even harder. Before Roman could et back up I ran over and stood in the middle.

A: STOP THE BOTH OF YOU. YOU CAN'T JUST FIGHT TO SOLVE PROBLEMS. IM SICK OF YOU FIGHTING BLAKE. AND ROMAN YOU HAD NO REASON TO HIT BLAKE. BOTH OF YOU JUST FUCKING LEAVE.
B: Azaana-
A: Leave. Both of you. Get out.
R: But-
A: No leave.
B: But I came over here to tal-
A: We can talk later. Just not right now.
B: Alright. Fine.
R: I'll talk to you later too?
A: Sure whatever.

When they both left, I collapsed on the floor. What the hell is wrong with me? I thought I didn't care about me and Blake breaking up. But for some reason it's all just now coming to me. Roman is great and all but I barely even met him. Ugh, love is so fucking stupid. I'm taking a nap.
•••
When I woke up from my nap, I was ready to talk to Blake. I picked up my phone and called him.

B: Are you ready to talk?
A: Yes. Come over.
B: Alright.

I hung up the phone and went in the bathroom to fix myself up before Blake got here. In a few minutes I heard Blake coming upstairs. I sat on the bed waiting for him.

B: Hi.
A: Hey.
B: So explain to me why it happened and why'd you do it.
A: Well I was really drunk, but I know that's never an excuse. He was driving me back here, but I told him I didn't want to go home, because I didn't want to deal with you asking me a whole bunch of questions and arguing with me saying I'm smell like alcohol. I knew I couldn't go to Camryn's house because of DJ, so I went to his hotel. At first it was completely harmless we were just watching tv. Then one thing led to another and we kissed. Then, I started feeling uncomfortable so I went to Camryn's house without letting DJ know, because I just couldn't look at you without feeling guilty. I'm so sorry I did this.
B: I understand.
A: You what?
B: I understand. Now we can get back together.
A: I can't get back together.
B: What? Why?
A: Because I feel like you and I will never be the same like we were before.
B: But we can work through it.
A: This is something I can't work through.
I put my head down and let a tear slip. It just hit me that I really did love Blake and I was stupid.
A: You would be so better off without me.
B: No I wouldn't! You know I need you!
A: You don't need me Blake.
B: I can't live without you.
A: I can't live with me knowing that I hurt you. I want to keep you, but that would be selfish.
B: I love you Azaana!
He says with his voice cracking. He looked like he was on the verge of tears too.
A: That's gonna have to change.
I say this looking down once again.
B: It's not going to change!
A: I'm sorry Blake.

He was quiet, but I could feel the sadness screaming inside of him. I knew I broke him, but it broke me even more, knowing that I can't keep him as mine.

B: Wow.
He whispers.
B: Is this what it's like to have heartbreak this bad?

I look at him with a frown. He buries his hands in his face. I hear him sniffle. I rub his back and start crying even more. Damn this hurts. I'm a little relieved to know I still have emotion. All this time I thought I was just breathing not alive. But when I'm with Blake something awakens in me. But I fucked up. This time it wasn't him. This time it was me. I could say sorry to him a million times, but it won't do any justice to how I feel. I'm an idiot. I feel like my heart is being ripped out. I was wrong.

B: Can you not completely be erased from me?
A: What do you mean?
B: Can we at least still be close friends?
A: We can try.
B: I'll win you back.
A: You never loss me. I was the one that loss you.
B: But I'm right here asking to be with you.
A: But guilt won't let me have you. I'm sorry.
B: I love you.

I stay quiet. I couldn't say it back without sending the wrong message. He turns and looks at me with a sad look. I know I hurt him by not saying it back, but it was for the best. I do love Blake. But I can't keep Blake. He stands up kisses my forehead one last time and leaves. When the door closes I fall back onto the bed, grab a pillow and scream into it. God I'm an idiot.

Blake's POV:

Not having Azaana a second time is worse than not having her the first. Because at least the first time I knew I could get her back. Now I'm not even sure if I can. But I'm still going to try. I need her in my life. She's all I ever wanted. She's apologized for kissing Roman. And I forgave her. I want to work through it but she feels it won't be the same. Love is fucking stupid. I need to get her back but how will I do it?... I got it! I pull out my phone and dial a number. Instantly the person answers.

"Hello?"
B: Naomi?
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