The Love We Never Lost (Blake Griffin)

48

Blake's POV

I sat next to Azaana's hospital bed. Tears flowed out of my eyes. Replaying what I will have to tell her when she wakes up. This has to be the worse day of my life. Other than losing Wilson, I could lose another best friend. The most important person to me, could be gone. I grabbed Azaana's cold fragile hand. I pressed my lips against her knuckles. I whispered.

B: I'll protect you, I won't let anything happen to you.

Tears fell onto her knuckles as I kept my lips pressed against her hand. I wiped them away. Azaana slowly started waking up. She turned to look at me and smiled, her smile faded when she saw me crying.

A: What's wrong?

I looked down and up at her again. This is going to be so hard to say.

B: Baby, you know I love you so much right? I would never let anything hurt you.

She nodded.

B: I don't know how to say this, but I'll try my best.

My voice cracked. The words were at the tip of my tongue but I can't get it out. I wiped my tears again and spoke.

B: We lost the baby, because you have kidney failure.

I cried harder. Azaana looks like she just went into shock. Her heart monitor started beating faster. Her facial expression was blank, like she was still processing what I just said.

A: I'm sorry Blake.

I looked at her confused.

B: No baby it's not your fault I-

A: No. It's my fault.

She had the same expression on her face. Blank.

B: The doctor said you need another kidney. I told them I would give it to you. They're running test to see if I'm a good match.

A: Don't.

B: What why?

A: Because you would have to give up basketball and you know that. I know how much you love to ball and I would never take that away from you.

B: But I love you more. I don't want to lose you.

A: We'll find another way. But you are not giving me your kidney.

B: But bab-

A: Promise me you won't.

B: No.

A: Blake.

B: Fine.

A: Say it.

B: I promise I won't.

A: Good.

B: How are you not as much as a mess as me?

A: Well someone has to be strong about this.

She was right. I'm being so selfish.

B: I'm sorry this is just all happening so fast.

A: Don't apologize. Nothing's wrong with crying.

Azaana sat still with a blank look on her face. She lifted her hands and felt her stomach. Her emotion finally changed when she felt her stomach. Tears ran down her face. While she was out the doctors removed the baby. Her stomach was flat again. I knew how much she wanted this baby. I knew how much I wanted that baby. It seemed like she didn't even care about having kidney failure, more about the baby.

I sat on the bed and pulled her into my arms. I cried more and more. Defiantly the worse day of my life.

Azaana's POV

I lost my child. My baby. I lost my kidney. I can't play basketball. Everything is happening so fast. I could possibly lose Blake too. I know what happens to couples after miscarriages. The woman is distraught and the man sleeps around with another woman. The woman finds out and leaves the man. I don't want anyone to give me their kidney. I don't want anyone else to live a life being careful. Stopping them from partying or playing sports. Having fun, drinking with their friends. I don't want to take that away from anyone. This is my fault. I drank and smoke to much when Blake and I weren't together. I wouldn't slow down when Blake told me too. This is all my fault. I did this. I brought this upon myself. I'm such a dumb ass.

I kept my hands on my stomach. I cried thinking about my dead child. My beautiful creation didn't make it. As much as I wanted it to be a boy I could imagine it being a girl. My little girl. Blake's little girl. I lost Blake's little girl. AnJelica Austin Griffin"AJ for short" is gone.

Dear AJ, mommy loves you. Even though I never saw you, I felt you. Even though I won't hold you in my arms, you'll forever remain in my heart. Mommy and Daddy will always love you.

I cried once more in Blake's arms. Our baby girl that I was supposed to finally see in 6 more months, is now an angel. A beautiful angel.

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I seriously cried while writing this.