The Love We Never Lost (Blake Griffin)

50

Blake's POV

I woke up the sound of Azaana throwing up in the bathroom. I rushed in and rubbed her back while holding her hair back. I thought soothing her and telling her "it's okay" over and over again, would make things better. I wiped the tears out of her eyes. When she was done she collapsed on the floor. I pulled out gum from the drawer and handed it to her. I laid on the floor next to her staring at the ceiling. We just stared in silence.

B: You hungry? I could get you something to eat.

A: No. I'm never hungry anymore.

B: Woah. This is serious. You turned down food.

A: I know it's scary.

We both laughed. Azaana's laugh died down and turned into sniffles. I held her hand. Even though she is trying her best at being strong, she still breaks.

A: Sorry.

B: Stop saying sorry. It's not your fault.

A: Oh sorry.

B: Seriously?

A: Ok ok.

We kept staring at the ceiling.

A: Blake, what if I really don't make it.

I was so quiet on the outside, but so many thoughts were speaking in my head. What if she really doesn't make it?

B: Honestly, I don't know what I would do. I'd probably retire from basketball. I wouldn't really have a motivation for it anymore. I wouldn't date anymore. My only priority would be Ford. I guess I'd just be waiting to die.

Her head shot towards me. I looked back. The first eye contact we've made since I woke up. Tears were streaming down her face.

A: Don't let me be the reason you give up what you love. Or end your love life.

B: But you're what I love. All I ever wanted was you. You're my everything and if I lost you I'd have no one.

I wiped her tears.

B: Can we get off the floor now?

She sniffled and nodded. When she tried to get up she fell over. I didn't notice how swollen her legs were. She's showing so many symptoms of kidney failure. It's like I'm watching her die before my eyes.

I picked her up bridal style. I kissed her forehead and walked her to the bed. We laid down as I pulled her into my arms. I wrapped her in so tight. I held my world in my arms.

Azaana's POV

I don't think I'm going to make it. This is so hard for me. I still have faith. I believe God will help me in the end. He knows what's best for me.

My family and Blake's family are coming back out here tomorrow. I have to tell them the news. The world only knows that I loss the baby. Not about me dying. Shit only Blake, me, Camryn, Brynn, and DJ really know that I have kidney failure. I don't know how I will tell my parents or Blake's parents. It's like I have two sets of parents and both of them are going to be hurt. I'm the only girl both ways and the youngest at that. The only girl that is the youngest is dying. I read a quote that made me realize we are all dying. It said "Right when you start living, you're dying. We aren't living we're dying." I've been dying all along just like everybody else.

The looks on my brothers' face will kill me. They were always so protective over me. They cared about me. They love me. I was the baby sister. I could call them when I needed protecting. I can't call them for this. They can't protect me this time.

My father, in general will be devastated. We're so close. He's taught me almost everything I know. That's in basketball, school, boys. Every girls first love is their father. He was mine. I was always a daddy's girl. I knew I was secretly his favorite.

All these people I could be leaving behind that love and cherish me. Why me? Why?! What did I do to deserve this?! All I could do is pray. Pray that I won't leave anyone behind.

__________________________

I'm always bout ready to cry whenever I write now. #PrayForAzaana