Love Me Do

~ 36 ~

Kaylee's POV

The 60's version of my hometown made me feel queasy on the inside.

Did I really have to keep living in hotels for the rest of my life?

I let my eyes open as a streak of sunlight floated through my window and I felt myself stretch

Immediately, the sunken feeling in my stomach, heart and mind registered all over again.

I can't believe I had left him.

It felt right at the time.

I couldn't live with being a 'Beatle Girl', a hated wife by millions, a target for teenage girls.

And not only that, but Paul.

How could I live with myself, knowing I was breaking someones heart just by being with the one I loved.

My feet twitched underneath the covers of my blankets and I pulled a face.

The insides of my stomach lurched, my eyes widening as I kicked off the covers and sat up, leaning over the side of my bed.

To throw up, or not to throw up.

The lurching ignited again.

Okay, throw up, it is.

Jumping from the comforts of my bed, I scrambled desperately to the bathroom connected to my cosy hotel room.

Falling to the tile floors, I lifted the toilet seat and emptied my guts into the water below.

"Fucking hell." I muttered, the vomit subsiding, tears springing to my eyes as the bitter taste was left on my tongue. "What was that all about?"

I felt exhausted as I moved my fringe from my eyes, hoping that was the first and last of it.

But alas, my stomach twisted and I was thrown over the top of the seat, groaning.

Thoughts came to me in scurried, trying to answer my question.

You ate that weird chicken meal on the plane.

You didn't get much sleep.

John never used protection.

My eyes widened in horror.

While we were in bed, I had protested about John needing to wear a condom, but he told me it was something he simply never did.

He had reassured me that he'd always been able to pull out in time.

My shaking hands moved down to my stomach as I sat on the bathroom floor

I can't be a mum, no way in hell.

I'm not ready..

•~•~•~•

The lady across the counter gave me a disgusted expression as she handed over the pregnancy test, exchanging it for my coins.

Trying to force a shy grin, I stuffed the stick into my pocket and shuffled out of the chemist, my head bowed down in what felt like shame.

Shame in myself and what I'd gone and thrown away.

A potential life, one with John, but in my payment, he'd un-consciously given me a permanent gift.

Somewhere inside of me, a warmth spread through, finishing at my toes.

Maybe this wasn't so bad after all?

Reaching my new hotel, I checked in, anxious to get back to my room and find out for sure what the hell was going on.

Before I knew it, I'd found myself floating into my room, heading for the bathroom.

Breathing in a deep sigh, I pulled my pants down and did what I had to do, all the while, crossing my fingers in hope I'd be able to be a teenager for a bit longer.

After I had finished, I opened one eye and lifted the stick towards me as my heart pounded, my chest clenching my lungs.

Positive.

I stood up from the toilet bowl in an attempt to go lie on my bed, but my legs gave way from underneath me, leaving me to curl up on the tiles.

Somewhere, deep inside me, I knew there was a bright side to this.

A meaning, as though leaving John was something I should never have done, and this was my body's way of telling me:

You'll always have a piece of him with you.