The Evermore Dissociate(Creek)

0027

"Tweek!"

Said person let out a noise of frustration as he turned to see who was calling him. So far he'd managed to get through an entire day without having to speak to anyone, aside from Kenny at lunch, but even still, he would've preferred not to have been interrupted from his senseless thinking.

The snow covered path crunched beneath his feet as he slowed down, seeing Clyde running to catch up with him, though it was more like watching dancing on ice, rather than running. Really Tweek would've found the sight of arms in the air, flapping around as he tried to keep his balance, all the while supporting a red nose amusing, yet he couldn't bring himself to laugh. By the time Clyde finally slid up beside him, Tweek had firmly stopped in place, watching him curiously with his hands tucked inside his sleeves.

"Jesus Christ, it's slippy." Clyde said as he looked down at the snow. He was feeling rather betrayed by his new shoes, seeing as though they were supposed to have the grip of a God. "What's been happening? I haven't seen you in days."

Tweek's shoulder raised in what was supposed to be a shrug, but the cold made it hard for him to complete the task. He continued to walk, breathing out and watched the fog escape his mouth into the chilly air. "Does it matter?" He mumbled.

"Yes, I know you and Craig had an argument. Is that it?"

Tweek stiffened, his face remained blank, but his eyes showed just how uncomfortable he'd become. Clyde resembled a vermin when it came to finding things out, watching like a hawk for the slightest details and adapting micro hearing to detect the faintest mumble he'd usually miss.

Seeing two of his friends fighting just didn't sit well with Clyde. In his mind, he had a simple view of how things should be, and with two of them taking matters into their own hands, that view was being derailed. Clyde needed a functional foundation. He needed to know that Token was still Token, being creative and passionate about music, being the peace maker of the group and the one who holds everyone together with duck tape and glue. Clyde needed to know Token was still the soul of the school, and that every morning he'd be wearing that same toothy smile.

He needed to know Craig was still Craig, and that he was still obsessed with space. That he still secretly wanted to become an astronaut, or be alive long enough to touch the moon with his own two feet. Clyde needed to know Craig was still an asshole who's laid back behaviour both confused and intrigued a lot of people.

He needed to know Tweek was still Tweek, his twitchy friend who lived his life through the pages of books. Who'd rather sit at home and paint a detailed canvas of coffee, with steam that carried stars, than socialise. Clyde needed to know that Tweek was still Craig's sidekick, because without the two of them sticking together the way they have through out the years, Clyde wasn't sure he could take it.

Sure, maybe he was a slight control freak, but Clyde had a vision in his head of what his group would be like in thirty years, and that included all of his friends, not just some. So as he walked beside his anxious friend, his heart ached to fix this mess between the two of them. It ached for him to find a solution, so that by the end of the night, the four of them could be all back together, sitting on his uncomfortable couch, playing video games, the way things should be.

Tweek's jaw was hurting from all the tensing it was doing, and as he panicked at the sound of his best friends name, he exhaled shakily, unable to make eye contact with anything other than the snow beneath his feet. "I just need to give him some space."

"What for?" Clyde asked, and as Tweek turned to face him, he frowned with confusion.

"He hasn't told you?"

Clyde laughed sarcastically. "Craig doesn't tell us anything. One of us could catch fire, and he'd still not give us a heads up."

True, so true, but now Tweek was suspicious, wondering why Craig hadn't told the others. Surely with his blind rage, he would've let it slip, especially with Token around. He was always able to get information out of anybody.

"So, will you tell me?" Clyde asked. "I only want to help."

Tweek bit down on his tongue. He didn't have to look to know he was being pinned by wondering eyes. He could feel it pricking against the side of his face, but he refused to turn, refused to acknowledge the scared feeling he'd got when he considered telling Clyde the truth. It wasn't as though he couldn't tell him, it's just once he did, it'll be another thing he could never take back, and with Craig avoiding him like the plague, he wasn't sure if he could deal with anymore reactions just yet, not until he knew exactly how Craig felt.

So he looked ahead, swallowing all the moisture from his mouth as he picked up the pace. "I'd rather not say until things are sorted out."

Clyde nodded robotically, his nose now burning, looking the same shade as his jacket. "So you think you're going to make up soon?"

"I don't know." Tweek truthfully told, he only hoped Clyde couldn't hear the pain in his voice.

"Isn't there anything I can do? I can talk to him if you like? I know he's a stubborn little shit, but so am I."

Tweek forced a grateful smile, shaking his head at the brunettes woeful stare. "No." His voice was soft. "It's something we have to fix ourselves, and I don't know how long that'll take, but it has to be us."

The green of Tweek's eyes looked to Clyde's brown ones, seeking out the confirmation his friend understood where he was coming from, and he did. There were no words needed between them to realise that, but as Tweek's own words hit him hard, his eyes slightly watered at the possibility of Craig never forgiving him. They watered at the uncertainty he'd never again get to hear that oh so rare laugh that escaped Craig's mouth, or the future memories that may never happen.

He turned back to stare at the ground, not wanting Clyde to see the worry on his face as he feared the possible day he'd sit alone, thinking back to the days he and Craig would laugh with each other. He feared the day he'd be holding a cup of coffee in one hand, whilst he held childhood pictures in the other. He feared the day he'd last hear Craig's voice directed towards him, whether it's happy, sad or angry, he feared it, so much,

But most of all, he feared the possible day he'd forget what it felt like to love Craig, because through the highs and lows, and all the tears that fell during the past few weeks, and all the hurt and anger that resided within him, the feeling of loving Craig was something he'd came to realise he never wanted to forget. It made him feel passionate and content. It made him want to stand on the highest building and say it out loud. To say 'I love Craig Tucker', because he did, and he had for longer than he'd known. He'd loved him for almost half of his life, maybe not at first, but at some point those feelings had changed into something else.

He finally didn't care. He didn't care how much it confused him. He didn't care how much he hated himself for liking his best friend, because the way it felt to see him smile, to see him cry, to just see him, felt right. And even though that scared Tweek to death, he wanted to embrace it all, because he feared the day he truly lost Craig.