The Evermore Dissociate(Creek)

0049

With arms that hugged around his own body in a way of savouring some heat against the harsh night, Tweek walked along side Craig, intentionally avoiding eye contact and in turn they absentmindedly watched the chip seal that passed beneath their feet. The intent of talking continuously returned to Tweek as he fought against the unbearable silence that passed between the two friends, though the words he wished to speak vanished before even having the chance to be comprehended.

It seemed for Craig however, the predicament was hardly fazing him, after all, being friends with Tweek meant experiencing many awkward silences, and though he too felt unsettled by their earlier moment, unlike Tweek, Craig could keep his cool, his hands hidden away within his pockets as they usually were while he subconsciously allowed himself to space away from the now to wonder about what snacks would be in the refrigerator back at home - thus leaving Tweek to struggle alone.

And so, with the battle of fighting his hair from his eyes registering as futile against the mocking winds, Tweek gave in to the heavy sigh that had been sitting within his chest, and with its release, his racing mind was allowed to catch up to the rest of him, and all the words that had once been stuck, unable to be said suddenly found the ability to form into one sentence - or rather, question.

"I've made things worse, haven't I?"

Upon hearing Tweek's worrisome query, Craig's previous thoughts about eating paused, later to be resumed though for now he questionably looked over to his friend. "What do you mean?"

"Suggesting that," Tweek quavered, flailing his arms in the direction of the school as though that would be an acceptable answer. "It was stupid, I mean, all it's done is make things more awkward, right?"

After a moments thought, Craig barely nodded in agreement, more of a robotic jerk of the head though it still meant the same thing to Tweek, hence his increased trembling. "Sort of, it's not your fault or anything but, yeah it is kind of awkward. Everything's awkward with you though so what does it matter?"

"Ngh- thanks for the confidence boost."

"You know what I mean, awkwardness isn't something new for us, it'll pass."

"That doesn't make me feel any better." Tweek grumbled, kicking at a loose pebble but somehow missing it and instead almost tripping himself up. His face flushed as Craig laughed beside him, only adding to his embarrassment for the night, really he'd be better off staying quiet. "Don't laugh at me!"

Holding his hands out in mock surrender, Craig forced himself to look away from the sight of Tweek's crimson face, having to bite the insides of his cheeks to supress his laughter, though he wasn't fooling anyone, which only fueled the blondes anger. And so, as they walked side by side in silence once again, Tweek pondered Craig's statement about this whole thing passing eventually, and in truth, Tweek knew this too, after all, they've overcome the worst of it and if Craig was willing to fight for their friendship, then like hell was Tweek going to fail to do the same.

Then again, he wasn't sure what exactly he was fighting for anymore. He was positive his feelings weren't just apart of some phase and he knew that he could never go back to being just friends with Craig Tucker, but losing him wasn't something he'd ever allow to happen, and if there was no chance of his feelings being reciprocated then really what was he expecting? Maybe he was asking for too much, or not enough, but if Craig could see a way of them making it through this without a scratch then that had to count for something. But Tweek couldn't help but to sense there was something more to it, and maybe that was why he couldn't let up on this fixation of his.

His thoughts went back weeks ago to the night they were walking home late at night together, much like this night except for the distinct moment Craig had his fingers tangled within Tweek's wind-blown hair as he petted him like some sort of animal. It was that look in Craig's pale blue eyes as he smiled down at Tweek that night in a way that made his heart stop all together. It was that same look that plagued the majority of Tweek's dreams, a look hidden behind a stoic face, a face that had long ago mastered the ability to hide feelings so expertly that many people truly believed there was no feelings there to begin with. But Tweek knew better than that, you see, he has this theory that Craig is the type of person who feels things deeply, the type of person who, if they allowed themselves to, could be entirely consumed by feelings that become so overwhelming that over time become shut out completely.

It was no secret that Craig was an expert at dissociating from troubling things, growing up with an alcoholic of a father does that to people. So for Tweek, the moments he'd see a little more than Craig intentionally meant to show was something that concluded with him vividly remembering each and every moment as though it had only just happened.

Just like the night of the Denvour's trip, the night Tweek had almost been blinded by the sudden light of Craig's phone as it was shoved in his face, only to show off a picture of a guinea pig that had died years ago. It was a heart warming moment to know that Craig still reminisced about his furry childhood pet, and for him to want to share that moment with Tweek was something so comforting that it only added to the reasons he felt so intensively for Craig.

Being too deep in thought, Tweek hadn't realised the moment Craig came to a stop, silently watching in place as Tweek continued going along the side walk with his head down, only when he had went too far did Craig call out his name causing Tweek to turn around utterly confused, his stare moving from Craig's figure to the house he was standing outside of, Tweek's house. They'd walked the entire way mostly in silence and that was something entirely new for them. Though this wasn't Tweek's main concern, but instead the fact they would've passed Craig's house around ten minutes ago, nevertheless he'd  escorted Tweek home despite the tension and that made his stomach flip in a way that would have him remembering this moment whether he'd like to or not.

Backtracking over to where Craig was stood, Tweek frowned at him incredulously while Craig blankly stared back. "I'm not some teenage girl who needs walking home." He huffed, folding his arms as he looked off to the side at nothing in particular.

"Seems to me like you do," Craig retorted. "Who knows how long you would've kept on going if I hadn't stopped you."

"I would've realised." Tweek muttered, mustering his best uninterested impression as he watched Craig's small smile forming.

"I'm sure you would have."

Mockery wasn't one of Tweek's fondest things in this world, so instead of granting Craig with a response, he made a start to his house, casually waving a goodbye over his shoulder as he made his departure, though he wished it had gone a little differently. He could feel Craig still watching as he unlocked the front door and after a quick glance back, his suspicions were confirmed, Craig was waiting to make sure he got inside safely like some overly protective parent.