Conor Maynard Imagines

she's gone

Joe’s P.O.V
You picked up your vibrating mobile to see Conor’s name lighting up the screen, chuckling lightly at the funny photo of him that covered your screen you answered the call wondering what hilarious parenting disaster had happened to him now.
“Ello mate,” you answered cheerily.
“Joe,” he croaked making confusion wash over you at his tone, “she’s gone Joe,” he choked out before you heard him break into sobs.
Who’d gone, had he lost the baby? He could be so careless sometimes but how he could lose a 3-month-old that could hardly move was beyond you.
“Who Conor? Have you lost Ava?” you asked warily, already moving to go put some shoes on so you could go help him search for her just in case.
“No, Y/N. She’s left us Joe and I don’t know what to do.”
“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath. “I’m on my way over, just don’t freak out too much until I get there,” you instructed him while grabbing your keys and rushing out the door.
…
Upon entering Conor’s house, you saw him in the living room cradling his sleeping daughter, clinging onto her as if his life depended on this one tiny being.
“Conor?” you sat next to him and his eyes immediately left his daughter and landed on you, they were red and swollen. He made no attempt to hide his tears as they flowed freely down his face. “How about you put Ava in her crib and then we can talk?” you suggested but he shook his head.
“No,” he exclaimed a look of panic flashing through his eyes. “If I leave her she may go too.”
You saw his breathing quicken and silently cursed Jack for choosing this week to take a holiday, he was much better at dealing with Conor when he got like this.
“She’s not going anywhere mate, I promise. We can put her in the bouncer by there, you can still see her then, okay?” you saw him hesitantly nod so carefully took the baby from his arms placing the baby securely in her seat and then returning to him.
You waited a few minutes for him to start explaining what had happened but when it became evident that if you didn’t prompt him he’d spend the next few hours staring at Ava you started the inevitable conversation.
“So, are you gonna tell me what happened?”
Conor’s P.O.V
“So, are you gonna tell me what happened?” you heard Joe ask, breaking you from your trance. The realisation came flooding back to you that she was gone and you felt a stabbing pain in your chest.
The feeling was still raw and you felt a constant stinging pain, just thinking about it brought the tears back to your eyes. Jack always seemed to find a way to leave you when you needed him most, right now your entire world was falling apart and he was having the time of his life in LA.
You took a deep breath, preparing yourself to tell Joe everything that had happened. So you told him and he listened to every word, not interrupting once and instead of judging you for the tears that fell down your cheeks he pulled you into a hug.
***
You bounced your giggling daughter in your arms while walking back into your home, fascinated by the adorable sounds leaving her mouth.
“Y/N?” you called out, searching the oddly quiet house for your girlfriend.
Your confusion grew as you walked around the rooms and found no trace of her anywhere, you couldn’t even see her possessions. You walked into the kitchen, the only room you hadn’t checked, and found the only trace of her left in the whole house. A note. You rushed towards it and eagerly read it, your heart breaking at every word you read.
Dear Conor,
I know you’re bound to be confused right now, why wouldn’t you be? I’m gone and I’ve taken everything with me without even saying goodbye. Before you start wracking your mind for what you did wrong like I know you will let me reassure you – you’ve done nothing wrong. I’m still just as in love with you as yesterday, the week before, last year, as I’ve always been.
The thing is I can’t be a mum. You instantly adapted and became this amazing dad to Ava but I haven’t been able to do that. I thought it may just take some time but I’m still waiting for those motherly instincts to kick in. It’s got to the point where the only thing I feel towards her is jealousy and annoyance. I’m jealous that you’re giving her more attention than you’re giving me and I’m annoyed that I can’t be a good mum.
So, I’ve decided to do what’s best for my own child and for you Conor. It breaks my heart to have to leave but I’m not ready to be a parent, I know you are though. I know you’ll look after her and make her into a human that’s just as perfect as you are.
I love you so much and I’m so sorry. I promise that this is what’s best for you and Ava, I have every faith in your ability to bring her up. Just remember you’re not in this alone, I know it sound hypocritical for me to say when I’m leaving, but I need you to remember if times get hard for you again there’s plenty of people who will be eager to help.
Don’t stay caught up on me, you deserve to be loved by someone who could do a better job than I ever did. She’s out there, so be free and find her.
I love you,
Y/N
You slid down the wall to sit on the floor, hugging Ava closer to your body. You sighed looking at the tiny body you held, at least you still had her and you were not going to lose her no matter what happened.
***
“Do you think it’s my fault? If I’d payed more attention to her maybe I could’ve helped her, made her change her mind” you asked Joe quietly, scared to hear his answer.
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for this, I think she’d made her mind up about this a long time ago and nothing would alter that.”
…
Today was the day of Ava’s first birthday and you were amazed to see how incredible what the boys had organised for her was. Caspar and Jack had convinced you to let them organise everything so you were glad that everything had turned out okay and you were also glad Jack had moved on from the Peppa Pig fancy dress party idea after you’d refused to put your daughter in the outfit he bought.
You were talking with Jack when you saw his eyes widen in shock, you started to turn around in confusion but stopped when you heard a familiar voice calling your name from that direction.
“No,” you mumbled turning around fully and making eye contact with her, the girl that left without warning months ago.
She started to walk towards you but you backed away, you saw her gaze flitter to where Ava was sat with Jack and immediately moved to pick her up and cradle her against your body out of her gaze.
“Can I hold her?” Y/N asked still approaching you and you shook your head.
Jack stepped in and stood in front of her, preventing her from getting any closer, “I think you should just go now,” he ordered but she just stood staring at the little girl in your arms.
“You can’t make me go, she’s my daughter too,” she glared at Jack and tried to push past him.
“You lost all rights to call her your daughter when you left Conor all those months ago, you have no idea how hard this has been on him so don’t you dare just come waltzing back in here expecting to receive a warm welcome, now leave before we force you. Got it?” Josh butted in.
Y/N stared at both of them wide eyed before her eyes landed on you looking for some support but when she found none she turned around and slowly walked out of the room.
You thought about the past 9 month and how hard they’d been at first without her there but as she told you, you were surrounded by people who were willing to help and when you accepted that, life had become a bit easier and the dark cloud started to lift. Soon you realised you didn’t need Y/N to have a family, Ava and the boys were the only family you needed.